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Thread: Is it bad that my Girlfriend doesn't have any friends!?

  1. #1
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    Is it bad that my Girlfriend doesn't have any friends!?

    My girlfriend doesn't have any friends literally, but she was in a relationship for 15 years with a guy since they were 15 (she's now 30) I've always had really close friends since the age of 13/14 and im now 29. She broke up with her ex a little over a year ago, and met me after dating people for a few months.

    We have been seeing each other for nearly a year and are bf/gf, I understand in her defence she was in a long relationship but sometimes I do question her behaviour and how she interacts with people generally as I believe its important to have friends to learn/vent and generally just let off steam with. She doesn't have this and I don't know if its a good/bad thing in regards to our relationship? It would be cool to meet your girlfriends friends and go out with them as she has done with my friends and I think it effects her as a person.

    Any advice is appreciated, thanks!

  2. #2
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    I would think it would be strange, and a deal breaker for me. I would need a life and interests outside of my partner, and would feel obligated to spend all of our free time together. Our lives need balance.

    How is she with your friends?

    What does she say about this?

    She isn;t going to change. You have known this from the beginning. Why wasn't it an issue then?
    Last edited by Hollyj; 08-02-2019 at 10:54 AM.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Why do you care how many friends she has? Is she clingy or talking your ear off or making you the center of her world? It's not your job to decide how many friends, what type of friends, etc she should have. Get to real heart of the matter.

    Does she have a career, interests, hobbies etc? Does she see her family much? If she is introverted, a homebody, etc. that's her personality, take it or leave it. If she's too clingy, address that. It seems you want to hang out with your friends more than she's comfortable with?
    Originally Posted by jjt
    I do question her behaviour and how she interacts with people generally as I believe its important to have friends to learn/vent and generally just let off steam with.

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    "irlfriend Advice!! Help is appreciated
    So I am pretty good at handling situations and reading them with my GF but I wanted to know if anyone else has experienced anything similar.

    I have been seeing my GF for 8 months, we have a good sex life and get along most of the time. She is very sensitive to things I may do or say or even faces I make when I react to something she says/does and can go off in a funk just from my reaction... is this normal? She can be defensive and argue and create drama for her own problems, act like I did something to make her feel that way, when I haven't done anything to make her feel attacked when its her own problems nothing that I have done/said... she usually see's after the truth and apologises but not sure how much longer this can go on for, she will say she cant keep doing this when its her creating the issue.. ? Then apologise.
    She doesn't have many friends and can have a hard time getting along with people from what I see but she is generally very caring and loving. She even tells me she feels weird just generally sometimes or tired and comes out in a funk and I feel like I'm some times trying to bring her up a lot."

    I
    see that you stay with her because all of your friends are in a relationship. That is not good, or fair.

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    We both appreciate our space and we both are vocal about having our own down time ect... I go out with my friends still and see them freely.

    She is pretty good with my friends and in comparison to other friends of mine and their girlfriends. I wouldn't feel bad telling her that I am going out or seeing friends but it's just that she doesn't share these experiences ? Like never saying I'm busy and seeing this friend or inviting me out with her friends and this would obviously effect anyones behaviour toward their bf/gf as that is their life line to being social ? Or am I over thinking ?

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    That's not why I stay with her, I have had opportunities to see other girls and I have never cheated nor would I but it doesn't make it easy when all of your friends are in relationships and what I mean by this is that their relationships are argumentative and tbh what I have is better than theirs, so I think I have something good ect.

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    Then why are you here?

    What does she say about not having a social life?

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Who cares? Leave her alone and let her be herself. Stop being the social director. Enjoy your friends and accept her for who she is.
    Originally Posted by jjt
    I wouldn't feel bad telling her that I am going out or seeing friends but it's just that she doesn't share these experiences ?

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    Well sometimes she can be clingy and overthink - I believe having friends helps you relax and takes the edge off. Like I can talk to my friends about personal things and my gf only realistically has me and very few family.

    She has hobbies and a career and is close to her mum and dad but thats about it, shes fine with me going out with friends as she says but I can tell that she is jealous as much as she tries to hide it.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    To me it'd be weird but it sounds like she's mostly a loner. Loners arent necessarily introverted, they just seem to enjoy their own company a lot. I think people need friends, but it sounds like she doesnt.

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