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Thread: Is it bad that my Girlfriend doesn't have any friends!?

  1. #41
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    I don't think you have good intentions based on this post.

    It feels like you think the reason she doesn't have friends has something to do with her personally and you even went as far to say that she has trouble in social situations and how she comes off to other people. That sounds like you're placing the blame on her as in people not liking her.

    If you base your feelings about her based on how many friends she has, I don't think you have good intentions with that.

    If your girlfriend is struggling socially help her instead of pointing it out. Pointing it out might hurt her feelings... this could be an internal struggle for her and you need to help her, invite her into your friend group, introduce her to your friends girlfriends and help the world see that shes a great girl.

  2. #42
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    Everyone needs a social life and I wouldn't date someone if they lacked in that aspect. :S

    Not having friends is unusual and there must be a reason. If she's jealous and insecure, i dunno why you're with her.

  3. #43
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    Also, it's healthy to have your own friends, not connected to your s/o.

  4. #44
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Have you considered that she is more mature than you are relationship-wise? Instead of college/high school buddies being number one in someone's life and gfs/bfs in a periphery, perhaps she views the closest relationship as the partner and friends/acquaintances at the periphery?

    For example you keep wishing she were busy going out with her friends on weekends. You don't really like/respect her and just keep her around because "the sex is good", this is another high school/college boy way of thinking.

    Many people in their late 20s, early 30s, start settling down and start thinking of commitments, living together, family, marriage etc rather than how many friends they have to party with on weekends. Overall you're very incompatible. Consider that perhaps you're behind the curve for your age.
    Originally Posted by jjt
    she's now 30 and im now 29.

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  6. #45
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    Your post sums up exactly what I mean in terms of having friendships, you learn how to interact with others and bottom line you become a person who is just plain and simple a joy to be around in any situation, I think she lacks certain positives of having friends and learning the basic interaction levels of normal friendships.

    Saying this, I am some one who has a small friend ship group but we are close friends knowing each other 15 years plus, these are the people that I feel most comfortable with, I love music and events and going out, but I don't like hanging around with 'fake' people that boast on social media and live off of posing. I know a lot of people generally but my close friends are the ones I converse with daily and go out with.

    My friends girlfriend's are some what hard to get along with and them selves have had arguments when we've been on a night out and my friends gf in a few situation have actually walked off (nothing to do with me and my gf)

    Too sum up relationships aren't easy and I know a lot of people in relationships that aren't any where near as happy as I am in mine, I have doubts like any one would as my life experiences haven't always been easy.

    I am not looking for people to tell me what do to but advice and to share their experience.

  7. #46
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Have you considered that she is more mature than you are relationship-wise? Instead of college/high school buddies being number one in someone's life and gfs/bfs in a periphery, perhaps she views the closest relationship as the partner and friends/acquaintances at the periphery?

    For example you keep wishing she were busy going out with her friends on weekends. You don't really like/respect her and just keep her around because "the sex is good", this is another high school/college boy way of thinking.

    Many people in their late 20s, early 30s, start settling down and start thinking of commitments, living together, family, marriage etc rather than how many friends they have to party with on weekends. Overall you're very incompatible. Consider that perhaps you're behind the curve for your age.
    You can be in a relationship and hang with friends, it's normal and healthy. O_o...You don't need to party, but going out for brunch, dinners, having BBQs, dinner parties and movie nights etc every weekend is normal. Just hanging out with each other and not having much social interaction is not a good thing. Dunno how this has anything to do with maturity or age. Life is much more colourful when you have ppl to spend it with-making your boyfriend your world is putting too much pressure on them.

  8. #47
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Have you considered that she is more mature than you are relationship-wise? Instead of college/high school buddies being number one in someone's life and gfs/bfs in a periphery, perhaps she views the closest relationship as the partner and friends/acquaintances at the periphery?

    For example you keep wishing she were busy going out with her friends on weekends. You don't really like/respect her and just keep her around because "the sex is good", this is another high school/college boy way of thinking.

    Many people in their late 20s, early 30s, start settling down and start thinking of commitments, living together, family, marriage etc rather than how many friends they have to party with on weekends. Overall you're very incompatible. Consider that perhaps you're behind the curve for your age.
    He is saying that she has no friends and never has. This has nothing to do with maturity.

    I am over 50, have a good-sized friend group and am quite social- not hanging at bars, and some friends go back 20+ years. I don't think that this makes me immature, just social. I don't think we are expected to stay home, once we hit 30. My friends range from early 30's to the mid 70's. They all get out with friends individually, and with their partners, they are not staying home. They share interests and have their own. It works.

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