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Thread: Is it bad that my Girlfriend doesn't have any friends!?

  1. #21
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    In a way I am, I enjoy spending time with her but it would be nice for her to say im busy this Saturday ect we can meet Sunday if your free. But generally she's always free.

    She is close with her mum and dad and thats it really. She likes her job. Her leisure time is mainly gym and running errands nothing 'fun'

  2. #22
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    Well I mean is there a perfect person for everyone ? really...

  3. #23
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    This is who she is, either you accept it or you don't.

    This is the second thread in less than a month. Something is not jiving for you, so it may be best to move on and find another girl. Next time, do not ignore personality traits that are an issue. You will save a lot of time and pain.

  4. #24
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by jjt
    Well I mean is there a perfect person for everyone ? really...
    Yes, there is. And you know who that perfect person is? It's yourself. When you're totally cool spending your life with that person—the relationship you're truly in forever—you're less willing to make compromises and rationalize relationships that leave you drained and discouraged.

    And when you detach from that mindset—yeah, you generally start finding people who compliment you well, rather than complete you. Are they "perfect"? No, of course not. Perfect is boring. But they are perfectly imperfect for you, rather than a knot you keep trying to untangle in order to avoid the real knot inside yourself.

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  6. #25
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    Originally Posted by jjt
    Well I mean is there a perfect person for everyone ? really...
    If she was right for you (and you believed she was) you wouldn't have started two threads about her. That indicates you are dissatisfied with the relationship.

    We can give our opinions about whether or not having friends is important. But our opinions are not going to force her to go out and find friends. If she chooses not to, that is her right. Nothing we say (and nothing YOU say) will change that.

    You don't seem happy. You protest and mention your "connection" but your posts indicate otherwise.

    Hanging onto her because you don't think you can find "some thing better" isn't very kind to her, is it?

  7. #26
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    Originally Posted by jjt
    In a way I am, I enjoy spending time with her but it would be nice for her to say im busy this Saturday ect we can meet Sunday if your free. But generally she's always free.
    Reading between the lines - do you feel obligated to spend time with her if she is free?

    I am sensing you would like more "me"-time, but you have some difficulty voicing this to her because she will doubt you love her if you want a day to yourself, for example.

  8. #27
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    Yes I have spent alot, and I mean alot of time alone. Time will tell in the next month or two.

  9. #28
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    I don't feel obliged to, but if she had friends we would definitely spend less time together as she would be seeing her own friends from time to time or have other plans generally, or even invite me out with her friends to some thing maybe different.

  10. #29
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    I don't mean some thing better as in im actively looking but like wise, if the person your with finds a better connection what can you do about it.

    It happens everyday.

  11. #30
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Buddy, take a moment to imagine how you would feel if any girlfriend of yours was thinking about you and talking about you in the way you're thinking about and talking about her right now. Man, wouldn't that be a bummer?

    You're confused, I get it. But you're also doing something really unfortunate, which is using the language of compassion and insight to cover up what is pretty obvious: you ain't happy and you are totally down to leap into something new, with someone else, should that someone cross your path. Until then? You're semi-down to stay in this placeholder relationship.

    Yeah, you can get mock-philosophical about the randomness of life, connection, and so on, but what you're saying beneath all that is simple and not too kind to either of you.

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