How to move on...

I wasn’t in a relationship with this guy. I met him online. I’m not really the type of person to reply to dms but something about him seemed interesting, so we got to talking and I enjoyed his humor and I enjoyed how very straight forward he was. I don’t even know what we were honestly. We would hang out but he would get mad at me for not replying when I was busy and he would get mad at me for not seeing him when he wanted me to. It was always constant arguing with him. Then he’d block me and unblock me and try talking to me again. (This went on 3 times already btw) Now I know it’s a cycle and this person is manipulating me but I just want to know WHY. We’ve been through this 3 times already and I’m not a person that holds grudges. Why would he cut me out of his life and then want to enter my life again? It sounds naive but I truly believe that there’s good in everyone so I don’t like to end on bad terms with anyone but this guy is just something else... He had me blocked everywhere and now I see him reappearing on my social media. I had all my stuff on private and he’d appear on my Instagram as a new account (suggested friend) and on Snapchat too (he’d appear as someone who joined based on my contacts) I know it could really mean nothing but I just want to know why he’s doing this. He stopped talking to me and blocked me and then ‘accidentally’ sends me a message on purpose with something so random and now he makes new accounts because he knows he’s blocked everywhere. I had to deactivate all my social media because of him. I hate that I care about him so much when I know exactly what he is. I just want to know where to go from here. It’s been about 2 months since we stopped talking but it’s been so hard. I haven’t been in a relationship with someone in so long and I think the reason it’s hurting this bad is because I kinda jumped into this new ‘relationship’ real fast after literally ignoring male attention for years. It just really sucks feeling like this towards a person who wasn’t even a boyfriend... He was literally a polar opposite and to have these strong feelings for someone who didn’t believe in the things I believed or agreed with the things that I agreed with is just... I don’t know. I need help.

He sounds extremely immature and manipulative. How old is he?

Why? He's either a manchild or narcissistic... or both.

You need to block and delete him and all his people immediately from all your social media and messaging apps. He sounds a tad abusive, controlling and basically a total jerk. Read up on red flags for teen dating abuse and signs of controlling relationships. Talk to a trusted adult about this.

I wasn’t in a relationship with this guy.

Why does he do these things? This is easy. He's an IMMATURE JERK. The solution is equally as easy - block and delete him from every possible way of contacting you.

Were these "hang outs" in person? Or online?

How much time did the two of you spend together in person (not over an electronic device)?

Stop giving him attention. If he gets a new number or new social media account, ignore it. Don't start looking through his pages, just delete him from your friend list. Ignore the friend requests or remove them. Easy as that.

Why haven't you blocked him? You can't get rid of something that you refuse to let go of.

We are both in our mid 20’s.

Were these "hang outs" in person? Or online?

 

How much time did the two of you spend together in person (not over an electronic device)?

We hung out in person. It was always in a public place during the day.

Stop giving him attention. If he gets a new number or new social media account, ignore it. Don't start looking through his pages, just delete him from your friend list. Ignore the friend requests or remove them. Easy as that.

 

Why haven't you blocked him? You can't get rid of something that you refuse to let go of.

I had hit blocked everywhere though. Then when I noticed him popping up again with new accounts I decided to deactivate everything I had.

You know, it’s really hard to get over someone when you’ve made them part of your routine and when you developed feelings for them. It is easier said than done. That’s precisely why I’m asking what to do in this situation. It’s not that I refuse to let go... it’s that I’m trying to but he just keeps reappearing.

You need to block and delete him and all his people immediately from all your social media and messaging apps. He sounds a tad abusive, controlling and basically a total jerk. Read up on red flags for teen dating abuse and signs of controlling relationships. Talk to a trusted adult about this.

I agree. He always tried to victimize himself when things never went his way. He was always so stubborn and hard to talk to. It felt like it all he saw was his feelings and not mine but then he would say he cared about me... What’s really upsetting is that when we would argue and things weren’t going his way he’d just flat out stop talking to me and then block me everywhere. After that point I’d just stop trying but then he’d unblock me weeks later or a month later and try talking to me again. I let this happen 3 times already (which I know is so stupid but I really thought he was being truthful about changing) but it was always the same thing with him... he’d always get mad at me and try to say that it was me and him

I agree. He always tried to victimize himself when things never went his way. He was always so stubborn and hard to talk to. It felt like it all he saw was his feelings and not mine but then he would say he cared about me... What’s really upsetting is that when we would argue and things weren’t going his way he’d just flat out stop talking to me and then block me everywhere. After that point I’d just stop trying but then he’d unblock me weeks later or a month later and try talking to me again. I let this happen 3 times already (which I know is so stupid but I really thought he was being truthful about changing) but it was always the same thing with him... he’d always get mad at me and try to say that it was me and him

So that's how you move on. Remind yourself of all this whenever you're tempted to contact him to "just say 'hi'".

All you can really do is continue to ignore him, and remind yourself that he doesn't seem like a very good person.

But I am curious, what sorts of things did you argue about? Did he ever actually ask you on a date? If I understand correctly, you liked him as more than a friend.

All you can really do is continue to ignore him, and remind yourself that he doesn't seem like a very good person.

 

But I am curious, what sorts of things did you argue about? Did he ever actually ask you on a date? If I understand correctly, you liked him as more than a friend.

We’d always argue about me not being able to see him. Our schedules overlapped. I would work morning to afternoon and he’d work afternoon to evening so that meant very little time to see him. He’d ask me to drive to him all the time and I felt like I was always the one trying to put effort into seeing him... but then he would make me feel so bad when I couldn’t or refused to see him late at night.

I did like him. He told me he liked me too and in some ways we acted like a couple even though we never actually were one and he never asked me to be his girlfriend. Yes, he would ask me out on dates but it would just be brushed off because I’d be busy or he’d be busy.

He sounds extremely immature and manipulative. How old is he?

Yes, this ^^^ and add to that, controlling, too.

You should block him and delete him, and run the other way. You don't need someone like him in your life. Don't ignore the red flags. You need to find someone who is mature and not manipulative/controlling. Don't ignore the red flags. If this is how he behaves now, well, it's not going to get better and you know that.

I do not understand why you have not blocked this guy!? Stop allowing people to treat you like this.

He treats you like crap and jerks you around. Enough of the everyone has some good in them, and wanting to end things on good terms. You need to learn when to cut things off, for your own benefit-it is called boundaries. This should've been done after this: We would hang out but he would get mad at me for not replying when I was busy and he would get mad at me for not seeing him when he wanted me to. It was always constant arguing with him

Block him!

We’d always argue about me not being able to see him. Our schedules overlapped. I would work morning to afternoon and he’d work afternoon to evening so that meant very little time to see him. He’d ask me to drive to him all the time and I felt like I was always the one trying to put effort into seeing him... but then he would make me feel so bad when I couldn’t or refused to see him late at night.

 

I did like him. He told me he liked me too and in some ways we acted like a couple even though we never actually were one and he never asked me to be his girlfriend. Yes, he would ask me out on dates but it would just be brushed off because I’d be busy or he’d be busy.

You seriously need to address why you allowed all of this!

I had to deactivate all my social media because of him.

I suggest if he somehow gets through to you again (should you reactivate your stuff) then you document and save everything (print it out even) and take it to a lawyer and ask him/her to write you a Cease and Desist letter to be delivered to his home. (you do know where he lives, right?) or his work if you know that.

Otherwise, just stay off of social media and he'll hopefully and eventually get bored with being so insistent on being in your life in some capacity.

He doesn't know where you live/work does he?