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Thread: Should I move on?

  1. #11
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    Originally Posted by bluecastle
    I'm also kind of curious to know what "high level" means, especially in the context of someone who is not prone to opening up. As another poster said, it all sounds pretty casual.
    Some days he speak futuristic. Dating with purpose is what connected us. There was always an intentional outcome in dating but his perspective could have changed.

  2. #12
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    Just stop seeing him, you're wasting your time.

  3. #13
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    Originally Posted by SarahLancaster
    If my math is right, you've been in his company only 10 times.

    I'd also like to know what you mean by his being 'high level' when you speak about relationships. He's told you that he wants to take it slowly, and apparently you're not ok with that. He has proved that he's not totally on board with you by going off with friends on his birthday weekend and not including you.

    If you feel that the relationship has potential, you'll have to, as others have said, do it on his terms. What do you two have in common? What fun things have you done together. Is it all just sex?
    High level being we can, in the future. Iím here to stay but no real action though the beginning he was strong. He did say he was going with his cousin but I still think you should plan some time for the person you are dating. I think we have a lot of the same morals and values in common. We both want lasting relationships that lead to marriage. We both want to be financially secure but like to play hard like going out for a night on the town, learning new skills, intellectual conversation. It could be that he just doesnít have time. Itís not all sex. I think it should be on both of our terms. It canít be one sided.

  4. #14
    Gold Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    Have you had the talk about being exclusive?

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by love1985
    Thanks for the advice and perspective. He says he is stressed a lot which I get. I agree on fading with no context though Iíve brought this up before and he swears that I need to let him lead this. My patience is low at this point and my feelings are getting hurt in the process.

    High level being we can, in the future. Iím here to stay but no real action though the beginning he was strong. He did say he was going with his cousin but I still think you should plan some time for the person you are dating. I think we have a lot of the same morals and values in common. We both want lasting relationships that lead to marriage. We both want to be financially secure but like to play hard like going out for a night on the town, learning new skills, intellectual conversation. It could be that he just doesnít have time. Itís not all sex. I think it should be on both of our terms. It canít be one sided.
    You've brought this up before and he swears that you need to let HIM lead this? Now would you call this fair? No one should lead anyone in relationships. There needs to be respectful consultation and consideration for each partner. My patience would be very low at this point, too. I'd feel hurt as well.

    I agree, since it's his birthday, he should've planned something with YOU for his birthday, NOT with his cousin given you're already in a 5 month relationship with him.

    It's great that you two share the same morals, values, desire financial security, discuss marriage, engage in intellectual conversation and enjoy nights on the town despite seeing each other only once every 2 weeks! He's emotionally unavailable which means he has low or non-existent EQ (emotional intelligence - Google those words).

    Something doesn't add about this guy and the relationship you're in with him.

    A relationship should feel supremely joyous and quite comfortable. You boxes regarding him are not all ticked.

  7. #16
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    I dated someone like this but we were not having sex plus I also just wanted casual at that point. But after five months there was a situation where he cancelled plans with me on a holiday weekend because he had the chance to go flying with a pilot friend. That prompted a conversation where we realized it just wasnít going to go anywhere. Difference was we were kind of on the same page about that so no hard feelings. He was a very busy investment banker and i typically only dated extremely busy professionals like me. The extremely busy professionals made time to see me more than every two weeks. So did I. Itís really not an excuse.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Per Batya's point, I think people, no matter how busy, make time and space for what they are genuinely available to. Just something to think about.

  9. #18
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    Originally Posted by SarahLancaster
    Have you had the talk about being exclusive?
    We did. He said he wanted to take things slow because heís made major mistakes in the past but this is beyond slow.

  10. #19
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    Originally Posted by Cherylyn
    You've brought this up before and he swears that you need to let HIM lead this? Now would you call this fair? No one should lead anyone in relationships. There needs to be respectful consultation and consideration for each partner. My patience would be very low at this point, too. I'd feel hurt as well.

    I agree, since it's his birthday, he should've planned something with YOU for his birthday, NOT with his cousin given you're already in a 5 month relationship with him.

    It's great that you two share the same morals, values, desire financial security, discuss marriage, engage in intellectual conversation and enjoy nights on the town despite seeing each other only once every 2 weeks! He's emotionally unavailable which means he has low or non-existent EQ (emotional intelligence - Google those words).

    Something doesn't add about this guy and the relationship you're in with him.

    A relationship should feel supremely joyous and quite comfortable. You boxes regarding him are not all ticked.
    Thanks for the reference. Totally agree. Weird we talk everyday but otherwise weíre on a two week schedule. This is very odd to me. I just think youíd want to be around a person you like whenever you can be.

  11. #20
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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    I dated someone like this but we were not having sex plus I also just wanted casual at that point. But after five months there was a situation where he cancelled plans with me on a holiday weekend because he had the chance to go flying with a pilot friend. That prompted a conversation where we realized it just wasnít going to go anywhere. Difference was we were kind of on the same page about that so no hard feelings. He was a very busy investment banker and i typically only dated extremely busy professionals like me. The extremely busy professionals made time to see me more than every two weeks. So did I. Itís really not an excuse.
    Agreed. It just sucks because itís a weird phase to be in because I can be mad but then canít because weíre not officially in a relationship. However even that is not an excuse.

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