Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: sudden change in behaviour

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Jul 2019
    Posts
    2

    sudden change in behaviour

    Hi,

    I am not sure how to start this, im writing this to get this off my chest since I keep thinking about it.. I have been having a "crush" on a coworker since she started working at the company I work for (since May). Unfortunately we rarely talk unless it is work related, I think its weird to go to her out of the blue to just talk with her about the weather or something (im really socially handicapped so I rarely know what to say). Sometimes when we do talk, she is open and I get a friendly warm vibe from her, but she is also very nervous, which I can understand because of my social handicap and I may also be a bit nervous around her. 3 weeks ago it was the last time I have spoken with her. It was my birthday, she could not have known it was but somehow she found out and called to congratulate me, and also for some work related stuff. The next morning I saw her so I greeted her with a smile and got the same in return. Since then she wont look at me anymore, she turns her head or looks over me to avoid looking at me. Today I saw her and she looked pissed off.. im not sure what I have done to make her mad...

  2. #2
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    May 2019
    Posts
    348
    She might not be mad. She might just wonder why you don't speak to her more? She went out of her way to call you on your birthday and then the next morning all you do is smile at her? I think you are coming across as not interested.

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Jul 2019
    Posts
    2
    Originally Posted by loyal
    She might not be mad. She might just wonder why you don't speak to her more? She went out of her way to call you on your birthday and then the next morning all you do is smile at her? I think you are coming across as not interested.
    Thanks for your reply.
    Maybe forgot to mention, I could not talk to her at the time because she was with her manager and I didnt see her anymore that day..

  4. #4
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    May 2019
    Posts
    348
    Originally Posted by postmah4
    Thanks for your reply.
    Maybe forgot to mention, I could not talk to her at the time because she was with her manager and I didnt see her anymore that day..
    Have you made an effort to talk to her since then?

  5.  

  6. #5
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Posts
    1,165
    It sounds like both of you feel awkward toward one another. She went out of her way to find out when your birthday was and congratulated you which was very kind of her. If you didn't respond nicely, naturally she was put off and offended. It's no wonder she chooses to ignore you and move on.

    I don't think all is lost just yet though. When you see her in the future, why don't you ask her to join you for lunch or a coffee break? Just think of establishing an acquaintance level at this point. Don't think too far ahead. Become a nice colleague. Never rush anything. Take your time and consider her an acquaintance for a long time. Remember, you work together so you have to maintain a professional yet kind vibe with her.

    If remaining acquaintances develops into a good friendship, take baby steps to get there.

    Also, if you notice that perhaps due to personality and character differences that it won't work out, you haven't lost anything. You've gained a good rapport with her and going to work everyday won't feel uncomfortable nor awkward anymore. Think of your work environment and don't do anything you'll regret. Tread carefully.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    34,849
    Gender
    Male
    It sounds like you have a crush on her. She is acting like a friendly coworker. You're not dating nor have a relationship so her moods at work have nothing to do with you. Make sure you are acting professionally and not staring at her or acting in a way that could be considered "creepy".
    Originally Posted by postmah4
    Sometimes when we do talk, she is open and I get a friendly warm vibe from her.The next morning I saw her so I greeted her with a smile and got the same in return.


Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •