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Thread: I have conflicting emotions regarding a girl

  1. #1
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    I have conflicting emotions regarding a girl

    Thereís this girl that I went to high school with years ago, and at the time we were friends but not really good friends. That was until recently anyways.

    Over the last couple of months Her and I have been talking damn near everyday. And I can say with absolute certainty that she is the most amazing women I have ever been blessed to know. In my eyes she is perfect, I donít mean literally. But Everything I know about her and see in her, even her flaws, just amaze me. The highlight of my day is when I get to talk to her or see a message from her come through on my phone. In my mind I want to say that I like her, but that scares the hell out of me...

    A few years back my first girlfriend that Iíve ever really thought that I truly loved broke up with me. And it wasnít a good break up either or mutual in any way. It came real close to destroying me in all my entirety. Since then I havenít really been able to have feelings for anyone. I mean I care about my friends and family but not romantic feelings. My bodyís way of protecting me I guess.

    Then this girl came back into my life and now my head and my heart are a mess. I donít know if she likes me, I think she might with the way we talk. If I could get myself to truly admit it And accept it, I know how I would say I feel about her. But just thinking about it scares me. The battle between my heart and my head has me petrified. I just donít know what to do.

    I donít know if any of this makes sense or even if thereís advice or something to be given here. Hell maybe Iím just crazy. Or needed to vent. I tried my best to rationalize what going on in my head but like I said I donít know if any of this makes any sense. And I really donít know what Iím on here looking for, just thought it wouldnít hurt.

  2. #2
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    Itís normal to be scared. Love friggin hurts!! Lol! But no risk, no reward.

    I say take a deep breath and go for it.

  3. #3
    Gold Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    I don't think you're any different than a lot of people. I for one have been hurt in the past and no matter who it was, I'm gun shy, too. Most people are afraid to trust again, afraid to make themselves vulnerable, don't wish to invest in a relationship only to get burned again. Most people become permanently wary and jaded. It's human nature to feel the way you do. I'm the same way.

    Take it slow. Concentrate on pure friendship for a very long time and see where it takes you. Don't think too far into the future regarding a boyfriend / girlfriend relationship otherwise you'll get ahead of yourself. Really get to know her and allow her to get to know you, too. Focus on evaluating each others personalities and characters. Pay attention to idiosyncrasies. Pay attention to red flags and perhaps she may not like everything about you over time with all due respect and vice versa.

    Never allow initial infatuation to cloud your judgment. Your emotions are high right now. Allow your friendship to develop and mature. If you don't want to get hurt, take your time getting to know a person very well. Later, you'll be less apt to get hurt especially if your gut instincts and intuition are right on the mark with an individual. Haste makes waste.

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    <removed>

    If you've really fallen for this chick I want you to picture two scenarios.

    1. You remain in the friend zone so long you end up as Ser Jorah Mormont "Ser Friendzone" where you remain that way until you die, watching from the outside as she passes you by for some other dude. Watching them date, pretending you're happy for her etc. Listening to her date stories about how cool or bad this new guy is.... Mentally just killing you I'm sure.

    2. She friend zones you, and then curbs your friendship as it's emotional affair territory for her new man.

    Both suck for you.

    So, if you're just friends just be just friends. But if you've really taken to her and want more, you gotta tell her and hope she feels the same. And if she doesn't.... Well be prepared for the super AKWARD. Maybe it kills your friendship, maybe it doesn't.... But I think I'd rather lose the friendship than be friend zoned to a girl I love. At least if it blows up you won't have to watch her dating another guy instead of you.... You can move on instead.

    Good luck.
    Last edited by HeartGoesOn; 07-31-2019 at 10:34 PM.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    Dude just ask her out....if she gives you a bunch of excuses, back off, don't say anything, and go back to just being friends because that's as far as it's gonna go. The quicker you do this the better....DON'T OVER INVEST.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    How is it you've been talking recently? Did you connect on social media? Do you see her in person? Around town, work? Ask her to catch up over coffee and feel things out.
    Originally Posted by jprobin72
    Over the last couple of months Her and I have been talking damn near everyday. The highlight of my day is when I get to talk to her or see a message from her come through on my phone.

  8. #7
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    How is it you've been talking recently? Did you connect on social media? Do you see her in person? Around town, work? Ask her to catch up over coffee and feel things out.
    We started talking over social media and then the phone and then in person.

  9. #8
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    Originally Posted by jprobin72
    We started talking over social media and then the phone and then in person.
    You won't ever know if you don't ask her out. She won't wait forever. Muster up some courage and do it. Don't be a wet noodle.


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