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Thread: Girlfriend ex or old friend moved to neighborhood? Why did she lie at first?

  1. #11
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Well, I'd use this little moment to remember that being a jealous type doesn't do anyone any favors in romanceónot you, not her, not you two together. If you know you're a jealous type, odds are she does too, which is a much more likely explanation of her hedging on the facts than your paranoid read that, who knows, maybe she cheated before you lived together and (gulp!) he moved to this hood to be closer to her.

    Time to get a grip on this, so you stop gripping onto her and can just be with her. You've been together 4 years, living together the past twoólean into that, not this paranoid thinking. It's an awkward thing to run into someone you slept with randomly, especially awkward when you're with your partner, and really, really awkward when you're partner is prone to possessive, apocalyptic thinking. See all that for what it is, exhale, and move on.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    Ethically, since she hasn't formed a present-day friendship with him, she did not have to tell you about their past history. If they were texting each other and hanging out, that would be a whole different story. Since she has been faithful to you during the last 4 years (because secrets usually come out, and none have), you should assume the best of her that she at first felt it unwise to tell you about a youthful fling, and then figured you wouldn't give up since you pressed her, and she stupidly gave in.

    If you don't rein in your unwarranted jealousy and suspicions, it will be the end for you and your girlfriend if she has a healthy self-esteem and gets tired of your nonsense.

  3. #13
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    Originally Posted by Rez7
    I admit that I am the jealous type. I just feel it may be a bigger reason to why she lied about it at first and downplayed it as some annoying guy that used to try and talk to her and get her number.
    I knew something wasnít right so thatís why I asked her about it again later on that night. Thatís when she told me it was a one night stand before we met.

    But what if she left out details. What if it was more than a one night stand? Iím not too concerned about that cause it was before she met me. Iím concerned if something happened between him and her 2-3 years ago, before she moved from the old neighborhood. I wonder if thatís the reason she lied at first.

    We been together 4 years. She moved 2 years ago
    Who cares. You should be addressing your anxieties and insecurities. I wouldn't want to deal with this in a relationship. Have you considered counseling to address YOUR issues?

  4. 07-31-2019, 01:49 PM

  5. #14
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    Why don't you trust your girlfriend, OP?

    That is the real issue here. Not this random guy.

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  7. #15
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Apparently, he's not a big deal to her. Certainly not as much of a big deal as he is to you. She doesn't care about him that's why she doesn't bring him up.

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