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Thread: What are we?

  1. #1
    Member Skylark89's Avatar
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    What are we?

    I can get long winded, so I'm going to try my best to keep this short. Plus, I don't want to give away too many details, in the off chance that he reads this post. (I did put a TL;DR at the bottom.)

    I met a guy via an online game, and I'm not sure what to think of our relationship. We haven't met in person, but I've seen his photos and Facebook profile; and we've done voice chat a few times.

    I'm going to call him Guy. Guy and I first started talking because we are both in the same guild. The guild has a Discord channel, so we mainly chat in there. (I've known Guy a little over a year.) Initially, I bantered with Guy...but we ended up creating an ongoing joke between us which led to chatting more often. I never considered it to be more than casual talk. Side note: I never spoke on a mic in Discord. I would just text chat. He would joke all the time that I needed to get a mic. (Sometimes, I wondered if he was slightly obsessed about it?)

    Fast forward, Guy ended up private messaging me that he enjoyed talking to me and wanted to chat more than casually. Somewhere in the conversation, Guy confessed that he was lonely and hadn't been in a relationship for several years. It began to feel as if he were looking for a girlfriend. I wondered if Guy was only taking interest in me out of convenience (being one of 4 known girls in the guild) and desperation, so I asked about both. Guy said no; he said he didn't love me or anything. I explained and made it clear that I wasn't looking for a relationship since I couldn't handle one at the moment. Guy said he was slightly disappointed; but honestly, he just wanted to get to know me better. We agreed to be friends. Since then, Guy and I have been talking as friends for over a month. We've really spoken a lot within the last 2.5 weeks.

    Since we became friends, Guy has told me a lot about himself and past relationships. He's even sent photos and shared his Facebook profile. I told him I didn't feel comfortable adding him or sharing photos of my face and explained my reasons. He was fine with that, but hoped I might show my face in the future. He did seem to push about voice chatting though, and I gave in. I finally started voice chatting with Guy a week ago.

    Not only that, we have flirted and teased with each other. Guy sent me some sexy photos, I sent him some sexy photos (no face), and then he sent me some nudes and UDPs...he's even done a few video chat "shows." I haven't done any "shows" or sent nudes. I prefer not to do that. (I've told him this, and he said it was fine.)

    My problem:

    I'm really confused about what this is anymore. Is it still simply friends? Sometimes, I'm not 100% sure that he's really interested in me as a person; I tend to carry the conversation often. I've spoken about it a few times with him, and Guy has told me I need to trust and have more faith in him and that he is interested. What's more, I feel like he enjoys sending nudes lately.

    More confusing...Guy will send me messages that he misses me. He's asked if I've fallen for him yet. He will often joke about me coming to live with him (since I have a not-so-great living situation right now). We've even gone into the details. And he once joked about marriage...at least, I took it as a joke. I can't figure out if Guy is forming a fantasy, getting serious, or using me to get off.

    A few days ago, I tried to get clarification about our relationship. I asked if we were still just friends, online friends with benefits, or e-dating. He put a laugh face and said we are "strangers that cum together"; since he hasn't seen my face, video chatted with me, nor spoken to me much via voice chat. I said I'd rather "online friends with benefits" since it sounded nicer...but later, said I changed my mind and preferred e-dating. He never replied about it.

    Today was odd, since it was more like a getting-to-know you/first date type of vibe. Odd, but nice. Guy said he missed me, made more of an effort to carry the conversation, and didn't mention anything sexual or send any nudes (they were starting to seem like an everyday occurrence.)

    TL;DR: Guy that I've known from game wanted to get to know me more. He was bummed I wasn't ready for a relationship, but said we could be friends. Has it changed into something more? I am interested, but not ready to do anything about it. He sends mixed messages. With text, he doesn't talk a lot unless I initiate; with voice chat, he talks more; he sends nudes and likes to cum for me (is he just using me?); jokes often about me moving in with him; sends me cute emoji and messages that he misses me. What's his game? Should I dial it down?

  2. #2
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    Doesn't it seem a little premature to ask for clarification on what you two are when you won't even show the man your face?

    I think you need to be realistic here. He doesn't really know who he's chatting to, so he's not going to try to take anything further than some cyber sex. If you want something more, you are going to have to nix the cyber sex and be willing to let him get to know you.

    And what is e-dating, anyway? How can you date when you never go on dates? It seems you are hiding behind a screen because the idea of opening up and letting someone get to know you - the real you - is intimidating. Are you worried men won't like you, or find you attractive?

    My strong impression is that he is primarily interested in getting his rocks off, though. Don't be fooled by jokes of moving and marriage. It's all fantasy at this point.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    You asked him the question and he told you quite bluntly what you don't want to hear. When a guy tells you what you don't want to hear, you better believe him because he is telling you the truth. He doesn't see this as anything at all outside of some enjoyable messing about and getting his rocks off with you. You are on the same level as phone sex lines, except you don't get paid for the job.

    There is no e-dating, dating is only in real life, OP. You are lost in weirdo fantasy world online, which is fine as long as you don't get confused and start treating it as something real. It seems that at this moment you are getting confused. There is no relationship. There is nothing. Just some online fun kind of sort of. He thinks nothing more of you. He was bored, you were willing to entertain. That's it. If you want a boyfriend, step away from the computer.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    Holy moley. This is cyber sex and nothing else. You are living in a fantasy land if you think you have some sort of relationship with him. He's busy getting his rocks off, sounds like you are too, which is fine as long as you know that's what's going on! He's not in love with you, he's not pushing to meet you, and you are busy hiding behind a monitor for whatever reason. Wake up and smell the coffee!

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  6. #5
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    You have no idea if he is a man or a boy or a girl or married or single - anyone can have a fake Facebook profile. Please stay safe. What he wants is simple - itís in front of your screen. He wants to chat and exchange sex talk and sexual photos. No label needed. He or she is a complete stranger and you may or may not be texting to a whole group of people or different people. Please donít send him money or give him any personal information.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    Well if he is being honest, he's just a lonely guy, that is getting what he can that is as close to a GF you can be for him. You have agreed to this cyber sex activity so you are not being "used" being a willing participant. I don't really know what you are confused about. What this is, is plain as day...an internet relationship that doesn't go beyond a computer screen.

  8. #7
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    You are penpals. There is no relationship.

  9. #8
    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    Unless or until you two meet in person, you will never know for sure. Only in the real world can you answer that.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DancingFool
    You are on the same level as phone sex lines, except you don't get paid for the job.
    Hah! Yep, but you could put a positive spin on it, because it's legal and you're gaining a marketable skill.

  11. #10
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    You will exchange racy photos but won't show your face? Strange.

    OP, do you have any social life, or is this game about it? I am trying to understand all of this about a stranger and your online activity.

    You need to expand your life.

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