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Why is he staring at me? Can’t read him.


Ruelette

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There’s a guy at work that I can’t read. Sometimes he will put himself close to me but not say anything, and I feel like I’ve caught him looking at me and he’ll look away. We don’t talk a lot but make a few comments here or there. Coworkers say they have seen him smiling at me or smiling while I’m talking. The other day I went out of my way to try to talk to him more and open up. At one point he was a few feet away from me and I looked up at the same time he was looking at me like he was about to say something but then didn’t. He stared at me for what felt like almost a minute not smiling and I stared back. He finally gave me a thumbs up and that ended it. The rest of the night proceeded as usual with occasionally joking and smiling, but that moment in particular threw me off. 😩

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I’m the worst for reading into things that aren’t there.

 

Work relationships are off limits for me. That’s just a personal preference.

 

Most companies have their own policy, make sure you know what these are. If he is your senior or you are his senior then it’s probably a no-no.

 

Is he married? Does he have a girlfriend? Does he treat everyone the way you meantioned?

 

I often look for all these ‘signs’ but ignore the biggest ones, if he is REALLY interested NOTHING will prevent him from talking to you.

 

I’ve given many men the benefit of the doubt, “he’s just shy”, “he’s just holding back because of our work relationship”, “he’s just not as confident as me...” , “he just has not had enough opportunities to talk to me”, “he’s just uncertain about how I feel”

 

They were NOT struggling with any of those things, they just didn’t like me enough to make a move.

 

That’s a hard one to hear but that’s the only sign I should have been aware of!

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Even if you have a crush on him, do not date coworkers. He appears to be just being friendly. Stop looking at him to see if he's staring at you. Just go about your business. He's not asking you out because either you work together, he's not interested or he's interested in/seeing someone else. There's no need to 'read" him.

I feel like I’ve caught him looking at me and he’ll look away.
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