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Thread: What’s going here now?

  1. #1

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    Aug 2017
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    What’s going here now?

    In advance, sorry for the long post.

    I’ve been going to this take away to get my lunch for 7 months now. Three times a week.
    That’s where I’ve met this woman, who’m I really really like..
    The first few months I made it pretty clear I liked her. Plain simple..
    And I had the feeling it was mutual..

    She has these cheap decoration things on her tables, as I am in decoration I offered her to replace those with something I make.
    She always said “ok, Ill text you about that..” , but never did
    Eventually I told her I would go ahead with it anyways and she said fine.
    But when the thingies where ready she said it wasnt really what she had in mind.

    Shortly after that I asked her to go out for coffee and she replied “maybe when I’m back from my trip”
    She was leaving 14 days after that and would be gone for 2 weeks, so meeting her woukd be no sooner then 1 month..

    Looking at all those things I understood I may have been forcing things and she wasn’t really intrested.

    Ok, even tho I really liked her I backed of.. I kept going there for lunch, kept being kind, polite and charming, only I stopped flirting and promised myself I would not ask her out again..

    PART TWO
    —————-

    So she came back from her trip and I noticed she started to act diffrently..
    She started to offer me things, offer me help with this thing I got going on.
    She started complimenting my neclace, the way I smell..send me a text saying she looks up to me cause I’m always busy doing stuff...add’s me on facebook..
    She even texted me “we should go out for drinks to catch up...”
    And today she even asked me again about those “table-decoration”, and if she can text me about that..

    However, she does not follow thrue..about the drinks I told her to let me know when she’s available, and would máke time so we could meet. She said ok but this has been 2 weeks yet no specific date has been set.
    Also about the decorations, to texts received..
    I’ve been going to this take away to get my lunch for 7 months now. Three times a week.
    That’s where I’ve met this woman, who’m I really really like..
    The first few months I made it pretty clear I liked her. Plain simple..
    And I had the feeling it was mutual..

    She has these cheap decoration things on her tables, as I am in decoration I offered her to replace those with something I make.
    She always said “ok, Ill text you about that..” , but never did
    Eventually I told her I would go ahead with it anyways and she said fine.
    But when the thingies where ready she said it wasnt really what she had in mind.

    Shortly after that I asked her to go out for coffee and she replied “maybe when I’m back from my trip”
    She was leaving 14 days after that and would be gone for 2 weeks, so meeting her woukd be no sooner then 1 month..

    Looking at all those things I understood I may have been forcing things and she wasn’t really intrested.

    Ok, even tho I really liked her I backed of.. I kept going there for lunch, kept being kind, polite and charming, only I stopped flirting and promised myself I would not ask her out again..

    PART TWO
    —————-

    So she came back from her trip and I noticed she started to act diffrently..
    She started to offer me things, offer me help with this thing I got going on.
    She started complimenting my neclace, the way I smell..send me a text saying she looks up to me cause I’m always busy doing stuff...add’s me on facebook..
    She even texted me “we should go out for drinks to catch up...”
    And today she even asked me again about those “table-decoration”, and if she can text me about that..

    However, she does not follow thrue..about the drinks I told her to let me know when she’s available, and would máke time so we could meet. She said ok but this has been 2 weeks yet no specific date has been set.
    Also about the decorations, no texts received..

    So what is going on??!! What is she after?
    Why the change, and why does she ask all those things but never follows thrue??
    Am I supposed to step up or not?

    So what is going on??!! What is she after?
    Why the change, and why does she ask all those things but never follows thrue??
    Am I supposed to step up or not?

    Thanks for the help..

  2. #2
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    Why not just ask her if she's free on X date, for drink at X place?

    If she is vague or unresponsive, forget her. She could be the type that likes flirting and attention but is actually already seeing someone or is on-off with someone.

  3. #3

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    Because I already have shown her my intrest, already asked her out but she did not seem to bite..
    I have the feeling I did my part...I don’t like chasing people to much, I believe at some point things have to go back and forth..

    She asked me out and I said “shúre, tell me when it fits you best and Ill be there”, dunno what else I can do..
    I’m guessing if she really wanted to meet she would already have set a time...

    But I guess you are right, if I set a fix tile and date alot woukd become clear with her answer..

  4. #4
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    Yes, I am also leaning towards lack of actual interest on her part.

    But if you want to put a definitive end to the questions swirling in your mind, suggest a specific date and place. Her response should tell you what you need to know.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    Speaking for myself, I'd never let an opportunity pass me by if a guy asked me out. If I already had plans or was leaving town, I'd definitely set up the alternate date.

    She likes the fact you have a crush on her--likes the attention, but just isn't that into you. Put your emotional energy into someone who makes it crystal clear she likes you and actually accepts a date.

  7. #6
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    Originally Posted by Quinccy
    Because I already have shown her my intrest, already asked her out but she did not seem to bite..
    I have the feeling I did my part...I don’t like chasing people to much, I believe at some point things have to go back and forth..

    She asked me out and I said “shúre, tell me when it fits you best and Ill be there”, dunno what else I can do..
    I’m guessing if she really wanted to meet she would already have set a time...

    But I guess you are right, if I set a fix tile and date alot woukd become clear with her answer..
    She is flat out leading you on. She likes knowing that someone is interested in her. And she will try to keep you interested so that she can build herself up. It's time to back off. If she asks to catch up over drinks, say no. That will send the message that you are not someone who will be at her beck and call.

  8. #7
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    Okay -- firstly - are you two women or are you a man (i wasn't sure because of the necklace compliment - not that guys can't wear necklaces) and its not weird for women to tell eachother they smell nice -- i know i had someone ask what scent i was wearing and what it was so they could buy it. I so, i am betting she doesn't know you are gay/not thinking there is attraction.

    If you are a man, do you think she feels obligated because of the decorations you made?

    I would back off. the ball is in her court.
    If she asks you out for concrete plans, i would not play games and reject her, though.

    Right now, she does't have to ask you out because you are always there. If you switched it up and didn't go so much, she might react differently.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Just ask her out again and try to make a more specific plan. Make sure there's not to much social media or other chitchat. Try to focus on getting out of the friendzone and ask for a date.
    Originally Posted by Quinccy
    add’s me on facebook..
    She even texted me “we should go out for drinks to catch up...”
    She said ok but this has been 2 weeks yet no specific date has been set.

  10. #9

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    Originally Posted by abitbroken
    Okay -- firstly - are you two women or are you a man (i wasn't sure because of the necklace compliment - not that guys can't wear necklaces) and its not weird for women to tell eachother they smell nice -- i know i had someone ask what scent i was wearing and what it was so they could buy it. I so, i am betting she doesn't know you are gay/not thinking there is attraction.

    If you are a man, do you think she feels obligated because of the decorations you made?

    I would back off. the ball is in her court.
    If she asks you out for concrete plans, i would not play games and reject her, though.

    Right now, she does't have to ask you out because you are always there. If you switched it up and didn't go so much, she might react differently.
    No haha, I’m 100% NOT gay.. and she knows for shure.
    I do however wear a necklace, It belonged to my great great grandfather and I’ve been wearing it for over 20 years now..

    I do follow your “I’m always there”-theory.. I’ve been thinking about going of her radar to see what happens..

    Thanks!

  11. #10

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    Thanks for the advice!


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