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Thread: How should I tell him that I'm pregnant?

  1. #11
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    Batya what did I miss? Where did she say he has a mental illness?

  2. #12

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    I never said it. I think Batya just interpreted it from my posts. I know that he has suffered from depression and that can also be a mental illness. Other than that I don't really think he's mentally ill in any way.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Lavinia
    I never said it. I think Batya just interpreted it from my posts. I know that he has suffered from depression and that can also be a mental illness. Other than that I don't really think he's mentally ill in any way.
    Yeah, but take that part out, it still pretty much nails it, a fact youre conveniently ignoring...

    Originally Posted by Batya33
    After two months and long distance you barely know him and all you know is that he [redacted] is unavailable to be with you. It sounds like sex was the focus of most of your short time together. Certainly you can have loving feelings but those feelings aren't really based on knowing him well. Tell him because he's entitled to know he's going to be a father again. I'm sorry it didn't work out with him but it sounds like a lot of drama in a very short time.

  4. #14
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    Originally Posted by Lavinia
    I never said it. I think Batya just interpreted it from my posts. I know that he has suffered from depression and that can also be a mental illness. Other than that I don't really think he's mentally ill in any way.
    "That I saved him from big depression that was hitting him and he was almost falling but isn't anymore thanks to me."

    So I read that and read that to mean he suffers from depression. A mental illness when it's clinical depression. I am not a doctor but that is how I read it. I am vicariously familiar with major -"big" depression and so when I read something like that I take it seriously. If he meant it more colloquially like some people use the term then of course that's not a mental illness (although it may be acting overly dramatic in a context which really shouldn't call for it).

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    The pull out method? Well, if nothing else he's financially responsible to the child for at least the next 18 years. One would think that he wants to be a father again if he would be so reckless with BC after only knowing you for two months.

    Don't take offence as its meant to caution: Make sure you get STD tested as I'm sure you wouldn't want your baby put in jeopardy due to some STD or another.

    How do you tell him: You wait until he returns from his trip and you ask to see him face to face and you say: "I'm pregnant."

  7. #16
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    I think this whole pretty talk about "saving him from depression" is pillow talk and goopy stuff to fluff you up to make you feel special to mask anything in him that was just about having a little fling. Do not take it to be anything more than that. I would decide what you want - gear yourself up for the idea that you will be a single mom and don't expect him to participate. If he does, its a bonus. He does have the right to know he has a child. If he is coming back in a few weeks, i would tell him then.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Lavinia
    But how should I tell him? I can only communicate with him by Messenger right now.
    If you can wait, tell him in person. If you can't wait, communicate with him by Messenger.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member itsallgrand's Avatar
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    Have you been wanting to get pregnant for a while?
    I ask because you said you have been haunted by an earlier choice to terminate a pregnancy, yet you weren't on birth control while being sexually active?
    In any case, I agree with abitbroken nearly word for word.

  10. #19
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    After 8 weeks , you are most certainly not in love with him. And vice versa. Just fuzzy honeymoon phase feelings!

    But obviously you have brought up the topic of relationship with him, at this point he has said no but happy to hang out.
    By not wanting to lose you , he really means not wanting to lose a casual buddy.

    It sounds to me like a rebound for him.
    Sorry!

    If you want to have a child then do so and expect to do it alone. With legal financial support from him of course.

    You BOTH took the risk of pregnancy and the consequences of that.

    One can abort up to 20 weeks pregnant.
    There is no hurry to tell him until he is back and in person because you are likely only a few weeks pregnant.
    So wait.

    Take the couple of weeks to gather your thoughts and options for all possible scenarios.

  11. #20
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    I agree with treating this in a practical way -get tested for STDs, review your financial situation (because I'm not aware of child support laws but isn't he out of the country a lot - that could make it functionally more complicated to get any support), and make plans as a single mother. And I wouldn't ruminate about how to tell him -use as few words as possible -he was there too, knows he has unprotected sex so after the initial shock he's an adult who understands of course this was a risk. As you knew too.

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