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Thread: How long do I wait??

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    Sexual compatibility should be a must-have for anyone's satisfying life. He belongs with someone who has zero libido, like him, and you belong with someone who matches you sexually. Make sure you learn from this and don't settle for one of the most important decisions you will ever make in life.

    There is also a possibility he is gay, but seeks a heterosexual union because he's refusing to live his genuine life. I've known two men who used women in this way.

    Always do what's best for yourself, because you only have one life to live and there are no do-overs.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry this is happening. Unfortunately, if you want a romantic partner, you're wasting your time with him.
    Originally Posted by BecauseImWor
    -To confirm we have NEVER had sex! nothing in 5yrs
    -I don't feel like his partner, I feel like a friend

  3. #13
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    I can't believe you hung around. I would have been gone after 3 months.

    Did he ever seek help for his problem?

    Stop wasting your life.

  4. #14

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    No he's never seeked any help. His reason is 'he finds it difficult to talk about', he even finds it difficult to talk to me about it and he hates it when I bring the subject up.

    I read in a couple of earlier comments the term 'asexual', this is a term I wasn't familiar with. After reading up on it I'd say without a doubt this applies to him. He's said that he has no interest in sex whatsoever and never has. The times he has done the act with his ex was for the purpose of having children.

    He doesn't grasp how important it is in a relationship, which I suppose he won't if he can't relate to those feelings.

    It's time for a talk with him with the intention of going our own ways, I know this situation is never going to change, I was just trying to convince myself it would.

    Thank you for all your views and advice, you've all been really helpful x

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  6. #15
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    Originally Posted by BecauseImWor
    No he's never seeked any help. His reason is 'he finds it difficult to talk about', he even finds it difficult to talk to me about it and he hates it when I bring the subject up.

    I read in a couple of earlier comments the term 'asexual', this is a term I wasn't familiar with. After reading up on it I'd say without a doubt this applies to him. He's said that he has no interest in sex whatsoever and never has. The times he has done the act with his ex was for the purpose of having children.

    He doesn't grasp how important it is in a relationship, which I suppose he won't if he can't relate to those feelings.

    It's time for a talk with him with the intention of going our own ways, I know this situation is never going to change, I was just trying to convince myself it would.

    Thank you for all your views and advice, you've all been really helpful x
    He is a selfish piece of crap!

    You need tp also look within to understand why you ever got involved with this guy. Why do you expect so little from others. This situation is over the top. Be single for a long while, or you will choose another inappropriate partner.

    Have you ever had a good relationship?

  7. #16
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    I'm not sure if the problem is him or you because none of what you described was the basis for any romantic relationship. If you lived together or shared a commitment (romantic) or are exclusive to dating each other and had some idea of a shared future in the romantic sense (no sexual acts involved) but just romance, it would also constitute as a relationship in my mind. There would be a shared idea and unity in the way you see yourselves as a couple. I can't seem to sense any unity between the both of you at all.

    From what you're describing and your activities and the difference in the way you view what's meaningful or not between the both of you, this seems more like a completely misguided and misinterpreted friendship with a hint of chemistry and flirting here and there perhaps. Is there a possibility of a big misunderstanding? Why did it get to this point?

    I'm not quite buying the idea that you felt sorry for him for five years. This doesn't make sense. Were you going through a transition period of your own as well? There is no shame in that. Just go through those layers and try and start formulating what feels better for you in a relationship. You are very aware of what doesn't feel good. Now start establishing what does feel good and creating new ideas of how you want to live going forward. This means everything from physical intimacy and bonding, trust and understanding and communication. There are a lot of ingredients in a healthy relationship. Bonding through physical intimacy is just one slice of the pie.

  8. 08-26-2019, 08:24 AM


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