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Thread: Not sure what to do

  1. #11
    Platinum Member itsallgrand's Avatar
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    If you are in such financial trouble, your energy should be going into how to pull in more income , and you should be busy with that. Even when recovering, you can be looking into extra work or a new job if your current one isn't paying the bills.
    Maybe it's just me, I'd be annoyed if I had to leave town for work to support us and my partner was working part time and complaining about not even time on phone.
    Actions, not words. Are you taking the actions necessary that would make it possible to be together again sooner than later?

  2. #12
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    I think you are the problem, not him. He works all day, he's tired when he gets home. You complain about whatever to him on the phone, and it gets old, he doesnt want to hear it. Maybe you need a second part time job to help occupy your time and bring in some more money. Talking several times a day gives you pretty much nothing to talk about at night. Less daytime calls can equal better night time calls.

  3. #13
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    I would focus less on everyday chitchat and more on a date that you will be able to see eachother for you to plan to take a weekend to go see him and vice versa. Don't nag "when will you see meeee?" but pick a weekend or a few days a few weeks out and arrange time off and say "hey, what if i came up there in a few weeks so we had a few days together or vice versa?"

  4. #14
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    Ok so here the thing. I don't "nag" him and I don't want to nag him. I'm holding in my feelings to try to avoid anymore stress to him. As far as being able to see him at all we have no clue as to when we'll be able to afford either one of us to visit. He's 4 and half hours away. I've only been trying have any semblance of a conversation with him even just to tell him the stupid funny stuff that happened at work. I'm going to give him his space and see what happens.
    I know I need to figure out how to handle the rest of what's going on by myself. That's always been a weak area for me and I'm insecure. but he knew that from the get go.
    The biggest reason why I'm upset about being alone after surgery is because I will not be to hardly get dressed, wash my hair and various day to day tasks will be hard. And I don't have the money to pay a home nurse for my recovery time.
    As far as getting another job that is currently out of the question due to my surgery in 5 days. Thankfully I will be starting school again in about 3 weeks. So that will occupy my time sufficiently I hope. But on the flip side of that. I will not be able to talk to him much at all because i should be able to go back to work as soon as I'm off my pain meds from surgery.

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  6. #15
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    I wish you a speedy and smooth recovery!

  7. #16
    Gold Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    Ms, do you have no family close by? Also, is there any way to postpone the surgery until he returns?

  8. #17
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    My family is about 8 hours away. Mom wanted to be here but they just spent a huge chunk of money repaving their driveway. I thought about postponing my surgery. But it would then make me miss school because I plan on hitting that hard in order to finally finish my degree.

  9. #18
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    Originally Posted by msgirl
    My family is about 8 hours away. Mom wanted to be here but they just spent a huge chunk of money repaving their driveway. I thought about postponing my surgery. But it would then make me miss school because I plan on hitting that hard in order to finally finish my degree.
    Right -so it's not an emergency and you are doing it now partly because of your school responsibilities. And sure I would prefer not to miss school or work to have surgery and of course you may not have known he would be away but understand it's partly your choice. Can you have it done closer to where your parents live and stay with them during recovery? Maybe that's not feasible either but figured I would ask.

    (And I had to go through labor by myself and my mother had to come take me to the hospital when I was in active labor - 14 hours later- because my husband was hundreds of miles away -so understand that just because you have a partner doesn't mean he can physically be there for you if you are unwell, etc).

  10. #19
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Decide whether you want daily, or whether you want special. Daily can be a chore, and that erodes the chances of it ever being special.

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