in an unhealthy relationship and about to get married

I'm hoping someone might be able to give me some advice..

I am with my partner nearly 10 years and are due to be getting married. he is my best friend and we get on really well but one big issue in our relationship is when we disagree or argue we can't seem to resolve it. i know there is two of us in it. we bicker about the usual couple things ( lift the toilet seat, clean the dishes, etc..). yes sometimes i can nag and i have definitely had to put my foot down on occasions. He grew up not having to lift a finger. clothes cleaned, dinner on the table in fount of him. my problem is i have my mum in law to be undermining me. when she comes to visit she tells him to sit down and relax and myself and herself will do everything. were in the 21st centenary here. I work a job, he works a job, i'm not going to be a housewife as well.

our most recent argument started when i just could no longer bite my tongue anymore when it comes to his mum (i know bad move). he has since told me that he has no respect for me anymore, he doesn't care about me anymore. told me i have made some bad decisions and i have traits that he is not happy about. when i have tried to ask what bad decisions specifically or bad traits he refuses to answer. there was a lot of things said it the heat of the moment from his side. A day later the heat has calmed down a bit and he has told me that he is no longer going to go out of his way to make me happy.

i really don't know how to resolve this or even if its worth resolving. I have tried talking to him calmly and he is just been like a child saying i can't make him do anything, i can't dictate him and then i have to walk away from the conversation because he's making me feel like i'm been controlling.

i feel really belittled. i am always the one who has to make the first move and resolve our arguments weather i'm right or wrong. i'm so tired of having t be the bigger person and made feel so small by his nasty comments. please help because i don't know what to do or who to talk to..