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Thread: Crush— paired up at wedding! Fate?

  1. #11
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    He has a gf. End of story.

    If he asks for your number, you know what type of guy he is.

  2. #12

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    The way I see it is, your are working off of assumptions right now. You're assuming that he has a girlfriend, and that he is in a happy relationship. He could also not be in a relationship, or that he is unhappy with his current relationship. You will never know until you talk to him personally and find out.

    If you really like him that much, would you really miss out the opportunity by not being proactive? The potential upside far outweighs the downside of momentary embarrassment.

  3. #13
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    Originally Posted by nk89
    The way I see it is, your are working off of assumptions right now. You're assuming that he has a girlfriend, and that he is in a happy relationship. He could also not be in a relationship, or that he is unhappy with his current relationship. You will never know until you talk to him personally and find out.

    If you really like him that much, would you really miss out the opportunity by not being proactive? The potential upside far outweighs the downside of momentary embarrassment.
    But it's not momentary embarrassment. She has to walk down the aisle with him and be there for the bride on her wedding day. It's a weighty responsibility. If she comes on to him or flirts inappropriately she potentially could create a scene and disrupt her friend's wedding day.

    To add- being proactive is great. In this situation her obligation is to stand up for her friend and do her best to help the bride have a smooth wedding day. Of course she can socialize but risking a scene or awkwardness would be selfish on her part.

  4. #14
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    She's not "assuming" he has a girlfriend. She heard someone talking about his girlfriend.

    Would you be just fine with some woman being "proactive" in trying to get something going with your boyfriend?

  5.  

  6. #15
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    First dates, look at your posting history seriously, you seem to want a fairytale so badly that every situations somehow transforms you into Cinderella, when the reality is not even close to how you see it through your lens. Every man you encounter who you fancy magically fits into this fairytale role, you really need to, well ...get a grip.

  7. #16
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    Thanks Figureitout,

    I think that might be a little harsh.
    I think it’s uncanny that my crush from a few years back was randomly my partner today. It was a fun day. I felt very at ease with him. Two bad this didn’t happen a few years back when he was single.

    I’m a big “if it’s meant to be, something more will happen” person— fairytale or not that’s my grid!

  8. #17
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
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    OP, when going through all your previous threads it is interesting to note that you do have a tendency to read into things really are not there. It's like you live in a fantasy world and constantly "looking for love" (which you mention in a previous thread) and admit you over analyse everything.

    As to this crush, you know he has a girlfriend and that's your cue to back off and stay off. You have no business there. Please don't be that desperate in "looking for love" to make you go after a taken man. This crush is just another fantasy, another wishful thinking. Find your own man.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Unfortunately he's not "your" anything. He's someone else's bf. Fairy tales won't help you find a real bf in real life. Try some dating apps and perhaps you can augment fairy tales with a dose of realistically trying to help yourself find a bf.
    Originally Posted by FirstDates
    I think it’s uncanny that my crush from a few years back was randomly my partner today.

  10. #19
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    Originally Posted by FirstDates
    Thanks Figureitout,

    I think that might be a little harsh.
    I think it’s uncanny that my crush from a few years back was randomly my partner today. It was a fun day. I felt very at ease with him. Two bad this didn’t happen a few years back when he was single.

    I’m a big “if it’s meant to be, something more will happen” person— fairytale or not that’s my grid!
    Part of finding a relationship is about timing - sometimes not but often it is. The rest is you being proactive and him being proactive in making choices to get to know each other, to spend time together, to be yourselves around each other, etc. not relying on some passive "meant to be".

    I have ridiculous small world experiences all the time. I was doing a power walk on an unfamiliar street -first time in my life I've been on that street - when I saw a car in a driveway getting ready to back up so I stopped briefly for safety -- and the driver was a supervisor who sits a few offices down from me. Had no idea he lived there. He waved, I waved. Uncanny, right?
    Many years ago my then boyfriend (who I later married!!) took me hundreds of miles away to a reunion event for an old job he had years earlier. Never been to that city -very small city. We walk into a huge ballroom filled with people for the reunion. A man approaches me "didn't we go on a date once?" Well yes, we did, years earlier, a blind date. Had no clue he ever worked for that same company (he did not at the same time as my husband), and of course had no clue he would be there. My husband was astounded lol. But can you imagine let's say if I'd seen that as a sign we should go out again? And if I'd flirted with him (remember I was only with a boyfriend, not a husband and you know, fate, right, according to you).

    I've had many more experiences just like that. Many. They're fun. Let them be fun. Please don't go there with trying to justify letting "fate" rule your romantic life and choices. Do the work and then the good timing/fate part will help a bit (sometimes).

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