Is She Ignoring Me or Just Busy?

A woman I'm pretty close with (plantonic friendship), went on vacation this past week, and while she's posted many photos to Instagram, she hasn't commented or liked any of mine. I even made a comment on one of her posts, saying I hope she's having a good time, and she didn't respond or click like. I saw her like a few pics, so I know she's checking in on her feed.

Now generally, up to this week, she's been a very consistent "liker" and commenter and even DM's me from time to time. It's not the lack of likes or comments that bothers me, it's the change in behavior that has me worried.

I'm starting to feel like I'm getting the cold shoulder and my imagination is starting to get the best of me. Should I just chalk this up as her being busy doing her thing while she's on vacation? Or is this something I should worry about? When she left last weekend, there were no conflicts between the two of us and we were on seemingly good terms. It "feels" like she's ignoring me on purpose.

Am I making something out of nothing?

yes, she's on vacation and busy with that. Focus on your other friends and interests. She'll be in touch when she gets back.

I just chalk this up as her being busy doing her thing while she's on vacation?

You say you're 'pretty close' with this woman as a friend, yet you're kind of acting like you have a romantic interest in her.

When I post something, I wouldn't care if close friends don't 'like' every picture, and I wouldn't keep track of whose picture they are liking. It's just bizarre. But if it was someone I was romantically interested in, I might be a little more sensitive.

Are you being honest with yourself?

Really? This person is on holiday, you need to control your worrying. Not everyone is stuck on social media all the time when on vacation. That's the last thing I want to do when I go on holiday.

You say you're 'pretty close' with this woman as a friend, yet you're kind of acting like you have a romantic interest in her.

 

When I post something, I wouldn't care if close friends don't 'like' every picture, and I wouldn't keep track of whose picture they are liking. It's just bizarre. But if it was someone I was romantically interested in, I might be a little more sensitive.

 

Are you being honest with yourself?

I agree. Are you being totally honest with yourself?

The whole purpose of a vacation - and the reason people take them - is to break their routine.

I would be concerned if her behavior wasn’t any different? It would likely mean that she’s not having a good time?

I mean... can’t you just picture it in your head, even? She is lying on a beach somewhere uploading pics to Instagram and going through her feed when someone yells “Suzieeeee!! Put down your phone already and come swim in the ocean!!” to which she replies “ok ok... I’m coming! ” and puts down her phone to go swim.

Don’t read into anything while she is away. She is doing what she went there to do - which is to have fun. Keep yourself busy and you’ll have lots to talk about when she gets back...

I don't give much thought to the fact that my platonic friends might be otherwise distracted by their fabulous vacations. I hope they would be.

Friendships aren't so fragile that the lack of liking social media postings because they are otherwise busy are a cause for concern.

What's your real concern here. . because something does add up.

You're reading too much into this and her.

Whether you're platonic or close, "friends" on FB will not constantly like and comment regularly and consistently as you expect. It is up to their discretion, if they feel like it or not and many people simply don't want to put forth the effort to do anything at all. They might look at it but will continue to browse only.

Concentrate and focus on your in-person interactions with her as a close friend and not social media or texts, emails, messages, voicemails and the like. Many times, in-person communication is best as opposed to excessive focus and contact electronically whenever you're not together.

Lower your expectations of others and you won't feel offended nor easily surprised and shocked.

In the meantime, get busy with your own life.

People are very busy with their own lives.

Really? This person is on holiday, you need to control your worrying. Not everyone is stuck on social media all the time when on vacation. That's the last thing I want to do when I go on holiday.

Totally agree. All this because she didn't like a photo.

“ even DM's me from time to time”

Doesn’t sound like you are close at all?!?

If someone commented on my post saying hope you are having a nice time , I’d simply think that’s nice and keep scrolling.

I’d also think it was an odd comment since my uploads would clearly suggest I am having a nice time !

Exactly why do you care?? Why are you monitoring her activity?

As Sarah suggested , it seems you don’t want a platonic relationship with her ?

Have you ever asked her out? If not, why not?

What exactly are you worried about?

She is on holiday. She is having fun and enjoys sharing it with her friends online, but isn't focused on viewing everyone else's social media activity at the moment. Your comments on her social media don't really necessitate a response. She'll probably resume her normal habits once she returns from vacation.

You clearly like her as more than a friend, so I will first ask you this: how often do you hang out in person?

Is she a coworker?

When someone wants to spend time with you, they simply reach out. There's no guesswork. Easier said than done, but I'd forget her for the time being and focus on your own life. Plus, she's on vacation.

I'd also say that liking someone's pictures is a terrible barometer for finding out if someone is genuinely interested as liking pictures takes minimal effort.