Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 38

Thread: I've been gaining a lot of weight

  1. #1
    Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Posts
    30

    I've been gaining a lot of weight

    I've been stressed out and I've been abusing food. For the past 6 months I have not had the willpower to stop myself even as my clothes get too tight. I'm so uncomfortable going to work because my clothes don't fit. I need to lose at least 10 lbs so that I can avoid a wardrobe malfunction. I've made lots of commitments to myself and then the moment that something comes up (and it always does) I turn to food. This week alone has been terrible. I left a meeting on Tuesday and went straight to the supermarket to pick up liquor and cheetos which I had for dinner. Its been like this for awhile.

    I don't feel bitter anymore but I have no idea how to channel my stress. I work for myself and its been a struggle to keep the doors open. This year for the first time in 10 years I had to pay staff late... and then in installments because vendors don't pay on time. Sometimes I feel angry with my staff when they do not help. They don't see the connection between collections and their salary. I would replace them if I thought I could improve upon them. My car was down for 6 weeks and I didn't have the money to fix it, license and insure it.

    I am the friend everyone turns to with their problems. I am overwhelmed with the problems of everyone else in addition to my own. I used to have a therapist but at some point that relationship flipped and she started sharing her problems with me. I used to have a mentor and at some point that relationship flipped and now he comes to me for help. Everyone comes to me for help. People are so inconsiderate. One night a friend of mine called me and I said that I was feeling tired helping people make decisions and I wanted a break and she just kept talking like she didn't hear me. Everyone relies on me and I have nobody on whom I can rely. There is nobody I can call. I am so alone. On top of that I am gaining so much weight. I am completely out of ideas for things to try. I started going to the gym again but I don't have the motivation or discipline to be consistent. Even when I do go to them gym I am eating far more than my exercise regimen can work off. none of my old tricks are working. On some level I just don't care how I look anymore.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    4,498
    Gender
    Female
    Have you tried any “fad” diets? I know they’re regarded as unhealthy, but I think they can be useful because they give you a new activity/challenge to complete. Sort of like a kick in the butt.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    21,680
    Why don't you channel your stress to exercise, instead of food. Nothing calms me more than taking a fast walk or light run.

    You are making an active choice to make terrible food choices. Have you considered addressing why you turn to food to self medicate? Have you sought out Weight Watchers or a similar program?

    You are not a victim, but part of the problem. You enable these people. You need to establish boundaries and shut down these emotional vampires. You also need to address why YOU are attracted to people like this. Take some control and make change!

    Get a new therapist and get your life under control. You are not helpless.

  4. #4
    Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Posts
    30
    I tried keto which lasted about a week. Maybe some sort of challenge is a better idea. I can be competitive sometimes. I just need a good group. Maybe something from the internet. I tried it with friends already but they don't have a weight problem and even less commitment than me. i have a serious problem which I need to control

  5.  

  6. #5
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    21,680
    Keto is too extreme. You need a healthy diet intended for a lifetime.

    Have you tried yoga or meditation?

  7. #6
    Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Posts
    30
    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    Why don't you channel your stress to exercise, instead of food. Nothing calms me more than taking a fast walk or light run.

    You are making an active choice to make terrible food choices. Have you considered addressing why you turn to food to self medicate? Have you sought out Weight Watchers or a similar program?

    You are not a victim, but part of the problem. You enable these people. You need to establish boundaries and shut down these emotional vampires. You also need to address why YOU are attracted to people like this. Take some control and make change!

    Get a new therapist and get your life under control. You are not helpless.
    I don't mind helping people. More often than not I am happy to help if I can. That is why I attract and am attracted to these people. If I wasn't going through so much financial stress I wouldn't be bothered. Right now my cup is full of challenges. I've barely been meeting my obligations. Otherwise I would have just gone to a yoga class or something destressing. I injured myself because my footwear was old.I just bought new sneakers last month. I don't even know where to begin looking for a new therapist. They aren't that common where I live. So I guess instead I am talking to the good people on the internet

  8. #7
    Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Posts
    30
    Iused to do yoga a few years ago but then I had a shoulder injury and downward dog was a painful experience. I strained my rotator cuff so it was painful to sleep or put on clothes or drive. i think it is ok now so maybe I will go back to that. That is a helpful suggestion. Thanks

  9. #8
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    21,680
    I'm sorry, but you just stated how overwhelmed you were with all of these people turning to you:" Everyone comes to me for help. People are so inconsiderate. One night a friend of mine called me and I said that I was feeling tired helping people make decisions and I wanted a break and she just kept talking like she didn't hear me. Everyone relies on me and I have nobody on whom I can rely. There is nobody I can call. I am so alone." You are talking out of both sides of your mouth. Your friendships have an unhealthy dynamic, and you need to address why you like to play therapist to so many. Perhaps, you are co dependent, or it keeps the focus off of your own issues.

    Your diet and and lack of exercise are within your control. I strongly suggest you drop the excuses and complaining regarding lifestyle and friends, and make some better choices all around. I am not trying to be harsh, but you have created all of these issues for yourself.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    21,680
    What happened financially?

  11. #10
    Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Posts
    30
    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    What happened financially?
    Alot of things, The market shifted so that there is an oversupply of products which depressed prices. Its affecting everyone in retail. I worked along with two other persons who bowed out of business last year so we actually performed a redundancy exercise which was financially and emotionally taxing. Two new partners were to come on board but they did not meet their financial obligations or expectations and eventually they just left. The two of us who remained had to make up the difference. So that my costs have skyrocketed and income is down.

    As to playing therapist to all my friends, I don't know how to be anything else. Right now I only feel alone. If I cut everyone off I will be actually alone. Those are two entirely different things

Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •