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Thread: I've been gaining a lot of weight

  1. #11
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    Originally Posted by porenn
    Alot of things, The market shifted so that there is an oversupply of products which depressed prices. Its affecting everyone in retail. I worked along with two other persons who bowed out of business last year so we actually performed a redundancy exercise which was financially and emotionally taxing. Two new partners were to come on board but they did not meet their financial obligations or expectations and eventually they just left. The two of us who remained had to make up the difference. So that my costs have skyrocketed and income is down.

    As to playing therapist to all my friends, I don't know how to be anything else. Right now I only feel alone. If I cut everyone off I will be actually alone. Those are two entirely different things
    I am so sorry for your financial issues. Will you continue with the business?

    You need to change the type of 'friendships' you have. The dynamic is not healthy and you are not experiencing what a friendship should be. There is a reason that you choose these people, due to a co dependent nature and low self esteem. Please look into CODA.org. You should never feel alone in your friendships. I also suggest you seek out new friends, and lose the users that are currently in your life. You already are alone, so what will you lose.

  2. #12
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    I'm reading a lot of excuses why you "can't" do this or that to get healthy.

    What CAN you do?

    I can tell you that CHOOSING to buy Cheetos and beer for dinner is on you.

    If you don't buy it you can't eat it.

    And no one said you should cut off all your friends. Just make healthy boundaries, such as meeting up for a brisk walk while you discuss healthy living instead if having a whine fest.

  3. #13
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    Yes, I'll continue with the business. I've invested some energy and money into rebranding which I think is already paying off. The last two months were the first time in over a year that I have been in the black. I finally have a little money in savings and I am terrified to touch it.

    The friendships all started off fine. I'm not sure when the shift takes place or what to do about it. Losing them isn't helpful. The problem is me. In some way I have invited this inconsiderate behaviour and I don't know when or how.

  4. #14
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    Then do not allow them to use you as therapist. Change the convo. Do they listen and support you?

    Have you made an effort to make new friends?

    Happy to hear the business is improving.

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  6. #15
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    I'm reading a lot of excuses why you "can't" do this or that to get healthy.

    What CAN you do?

    I can tell you that CHOOSING to buy Cheetos and beer for dinner is on you.

    If you don't buy it you can't eat it.

    And no one said you should cut off all your friends. Just make healthy boundaries, such as meeting up for a brisk walk while you discuss healthy living instead if having a whine fest.
    I didn't realise I had slipped into so much self pity. I guess this is a good reason to talk things over with people. I only have one friend who I could do the walk and talk thing. Maybe I can join the running club that she is in. I know I control my life. I've just been feeling so overwhelmed stressed and sad.

  7. #16
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    Originally Posted by porenn
    I didn't realise I had slipped into so much self pity. I guess this is a good reason to talk things over with people. I only have one friend who I could do the walk and talk thing. Maybe I can join the running club that she is in. I know I control my life. I've just been feeling so overwhelmed stressed and sad.
    Do you think what you have been doing helps with the stress and sadness? Or does it make them worse?

    Buy healthy food and keep it at home. When you leave work and are tempted to stop at the convenience store for junky crap, remind yourself that it will make you feel worse and that you have healthy delicious snacks at home.

    Remember, if you have time to stop at the convenience store you have time to stop at the grocery store.

    Eating healthier is a great start. You'll begin feeling better almost immediately.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Some support groups may help you. There is overeaters anonymous, AA, etc.
    Originally Posted by porenn
    I left a meeting on Tuesday and went straight to the supermarket to pick up liquor and cheetos

  9. #18
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    I can totally relate. What I did was I got rid of the stress....I ditch my issues with my mom, I delegated more of my work responsibilities to someone else, I now shut my husband down when he start in on complaining, and being negative, I gave myself more ME time....I am sleeping much better, which makes me feel sooooo much happier. I also stopped sweating the small stuff/little worries. So my advice is to start letting things that cause you stress GO, let it all go.

  10. #19
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    Then do not allow them to use you as therapist. Change the convo. Do they listen and support you?

    Have you made an effort to make new friends?

    Happy to hear the business is improving.
    Maybe that is on me. I don't like to complain about my problems. It doesn't make me feel better and doesn't fix the problem. So I just end up listening to people go on and on about everything that bothers them till it becomes a habit I guess. Then when I finally have an issue there's nobody to listen because they're so used to talking about themselves. When I don't complain people just assume that i don't have any problems. Or they like to do the thing where they are convinced that their problems are bigger than your problems and that is a competition I don't want to win.

  11. #20
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    Make more friends. You should not limit yourself.

    Have you tried volunteering, or joined any clubs that may be of interest? Clubs that involve exercise: running, walking, hiking, dancing etc.....

    It is time to stop playing therapist. How exhausting.

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