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Thread: Truly uncertain of it all.

  1. #1
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    Truly uncertain of it all.

    My gf constantly leaves, this month, she left on the 11th, came and got clothes on the 15th, and says she's done. I am not sure if I've ever held my ground until now. But she messaged my mother who owns the house we stay. Well she told my mom that she'd no longer be here and I am not doing anything but making her leave and so after she has said that, she asked to keep her things here til she gets a place. My mom said if you're not sure if your stuff is safe, and you don't want to be with my daughter because she does all these things your telling me, why would you leave your stuff with her ? She didn't answer some chord was hit. She messaged me and twists lot of what I'm aware of mind you and acts like my mom is rushing her and she is gone at her own choice, I have rambled I apologise. She said my mom was two faced inviting her to stay at the house with me and now kicking her out. Okkkk.. I was truly upset as she in my mind plays back and forth with the kids dad; it seems like clockwork she was seen at the store the day before getting ice cream with the kids and him. I found out when my dad hesitated to let me know. I'm not certain if she is playing house or being cordial and I feel more that it's getting her cake and well eating it to. So I've packed up every bit of her things, not going to let a single memory of her and I remain. since the weeks to the 19th when this message to my mom came, i was cleaning the kids rooms and I had a idea that I am hurtin myself but I need this out of my face, to move forward. She didn't ask until yesterday 23rd, to stay a few nights while she packed her things. I am not going to lie; I was just beside myself, I said, well I'm not sure if you have your uhaul, it seems like you'd be able to save gas and time, doing it once. And I sent her pictures of her stuff, all neat and ready to go. She was pissed. Saying I have to evict her, she's got mail here, she said that I didn't care about her, I don't care it's over. Blah blah. I'm not sure but I've hesitated texting to keep distance she left. So she can deal with her situation. I have said I'd put it on the porch out front and she could get it. She said she would put me in jail and I couldn't do that. I don't want her in the house just to make this harder. She hasn't wanted to be here so why now. I guess should I listen to my mom who when I told her she said I think she knows your kind and care so you'll let her come but she'll make it to where now she's in the house and you have to evict her. My mom is probably right. I am silly to entertain the idea that we could get along let alone argue or be right back to making up just to be in the exact boat three days from now. Ugh. Any advice? I'm going to let her know that I need to get a time and date for an officer to meet her here and leave it all on the porch. I am aware I can not go to jail for that; j spoke to an officer today. But I am struggling with being so cruel. I'm sure my heart needs to be done and I will give in if I don't hold my foot in this one. Ya know. Thanks.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Your mum seems very understanding. This relationship is too up/down and volatile. Please end it and do not contact or see this person again. I'm not going to cover the possibilities of what she was doing being seen with her kids' dad because that's not fair to her or you. If you're already at the point of suspecting her of cheating on you emotionally or physically, this is not a good place and the relationship has already escalated to a point where communication and trust has broken down. A person who checks out or leaves several times (unable to temper her emotions or actions) is also not good news. There's instability there whether mental or emotional.

    Let her pick up her things on the porch and have a witness as you've already planned. I would not let this person back into the house and you may want to work with your mother about changing the locks.

    Once all this is said and done, go over your reasons for being mixed up with this type of person and where you're at in your life right now. This is the sad and painful part that we all have to go through after a break up because it means having to figure out where we went wrong also in our choices. You owe it to yourself to own your own mistakes. Is this a lesbian relationship? Don't jump into live-in situations again too quickly. Practice loving yourself and respecting yourself before requesting that of others. You deserve a lot more.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    Well this is your opportunity to do what you wanted to do....grow a spine and stand up for yourself. Tell her her you are not breaking any laws, and her stuff will be packed and ready outside on the porch. Then say she needs to grow up, act like an adult....that this is what she wanted, so deal with it....you don't owe her anything.

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    Don't forget to change the locks!

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Do you have kids together? How long have you been together? How long has she lived there? Be careful, an illegal eviction will be a nightmare for you. Find out what you are doing and use your head not you anger/emotions.
    Originally Posted by GentlemanJac
    Saying I have to evict her, she's got mail here,

  7. #6
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    Thanks to all who have shared your views in my defense I have covered my obligation legal right from our deputy sheriff whom said I was not able to be held on basis of giving her stuff if she is gone it's better to not let her stay and he said let them come keep the peace and let it be. So as for locks oh yeah that's been done the moment I got the message of she was done. I don't want to be ugly and I've done my part with considering all involved at least I think that I am being civil with my decision. Thanks to all of you guys it's awesome that I can get my thoughts or questions and so where has this site been all my life?
    BTW yes lesbian relationship, 99.9 % sure I'm not the father and we had been friends and we'll a year is soon it's like dog years for lesbians. JK! That was not to be rude towards lesbians or dogs but I think alot of people rush. Most likely learning as these things happen teach us how to be more than maybe we were before. IDK. I am just thankful y'all. Back bone engaged. :)

  8. #7
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    Since April. We have been off and on for 5 years. No lease or rent paid for this duration. No kids together. The sherriff deputy spoke with me and said I was not wrong to pack up and not allow entry to get a peace officer or leave on porch. I'm assuming he would be sure to include special circumstances if it was the wway and could be more damage rushing with no knowledge to the process law and all. Is there any thing he didn't include? Thanks for letting me know about the nightmare. That's why I called because I need to know what I can or can not do or so on.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    I think you should speak to legal aid in your area if you are still worried. Stick around. You sound cautious and considerate. The forum always benefits from members like you. Good luck with everything on the wrapping up end of things with this lady. Onwards and forwards.

  10. #9
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    Originally Posted by GentlemanJac
    Thanks to all who have shared your views in my defense I have covered my obligation legal right from our deputy sheriff whom said I was not able to be held on basis of giving her stuff if she is gone it's better to not let her stay and he said let them come keep the peace and let it be. So as for locks oh yeah that's been done the moment I got the message of she was done. I don't want to be ugly and I've done my part with considering all involved at least I think that I am being civil with my decision. Thanks to all of you guys it's awesome that I can get my thoughts or questions and so where has this site been all my life?
    BTW yes lesbian relationship, 99.9 % sure I'm not the father and we had been friends and we'll a year is soon it's like dog years for lesbians. JK! That was not to be rude towards lesbians or dogs but I think alot of people rush. Most likely learning as these things happen teach us how to be more than maybe we were before. IDK. I am just thankful y'all. Back bone engaged. :)

    HAHAHHAHAHHAH!!!!

    It sounds like you have sorted things out well. Keep you head up! You got this!


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