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Thread: I caught my partner looking at escort sites.

  1. #1

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    I caught my partner looking at escort sites.

    I caught my partner watching an escort website and the truth is that I'm afraid that he wants to go with one of them or worse, that he already has. I've talked to him and he tells me that I was just curious that he has never been with any escort, but I don't know what to think... Anybody to give me their opinion?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Go to a doctor for STD testing and counseling. Be honest with your doctor. Do not have unprotected sex with him. Ever. He never volunteered this info, so what you came across is all you know. Of course he going to tell you what you want to hear: It's nothing, just looking, etc, etc. Most people who are "just looking" for purposes of sexual arousal use porn, not escort sites.

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    Iím not sure that I know what ďwatching an escort siteĒ means. Donít they usually specialize? Either they do online stuff from anywhere or in-person stuff locally?

    Anyways - if itís a real, live, local human being - yes - do as Wiseman says. STD tests. No unprotected sex with him ever.

    If itís a porn site - ie: not people you can actually meet in person - thatís a different story.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member SGH's Avatar
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    Get regularly STD checks no matter what. Every person should do so once a year if they are sexually active. For you, I'd say every 3-6 months. Always use condoms.

    Consider couples counseling. It doesn't sound like he is giving you the whole story or feels remorse for his actions. You will have to decide what you are willing to tolerate.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Have you dated so long that your lives are so enmeshed that you don't just leave him?
    I'd say the only people that would "just look" at escort sites were doing a research paper on the subject of pay-as-you-go.

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    Have you actually asked him why he looked at the escort sites? Like, does he feel like your sex life is lacking? Does he have a fetish? I think it would be good to get some explanation why he's doing this. For example, if he has a fetish, could you just do a role play? I mean if he honestly just looked and he didn't cheat then maybe you could just try to address the problem before it gets any worse.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Deejmonster's Avatar
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    He could be telling the truth or he could be lying to you. You need to cover yourself. Go to a doctor to get checked up and inform him that you will be doing so. Maybe then you can have a friendly chat and show him the consequences of his actions. I'm a pretty curious individual, and if I ever found myself looking at an escort site, it would be because I'm not just curious, but actually looking for something outside of the relationship (which I would never do to begin with). If he is confident about your relationship, the curiosity factor about looking into escorts wouldn't come into play IMHO. If I was THAT curious, I would make a joke about it to my SO before doing so, and I know that her reaction would tell me that it isn't worth it.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    I always shudder at these type of posts.

    My (ex) coworker having gone through the same thing. She wanted to believe the best in the guy she'd been dating after finding out he was also `curious about escorts.

    Gets pregnant, marries the guy and he turns out to be a sex addict. She gets her cousin to follow him, only to find his car at a motel during his lunch hour. She ends up with an STD that doesn't go away. Depressed, misses too much work and loses her job. Eventually divorced, but not until after months of counseling, help from the church and him going to SAA meetings.

    Yah, he said he was just `curious too

    I'm not saying everyone operates the same way. But I personally wouldn't stick around to find out.
    Last edited by reinventmyself; 07-23-2019 at 07:06 PM.


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