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Thread: How to politely tell an ex stop contacting me?

  1. #21
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by MrsWise
    Against everyone's advice, i finally did. I sent a one way message telling i don't want to hear from him and not to contact me again. Then i deleted the APP. Ignoring hasn't worked in the past. I just felt like this is something i had to do to. If he does message i will ignore but at least i feel better knowing that he knows where i stand
    I also said tell him to leave you alone...

    Ignoring him in the past didnít work because you didnít ignore him, you gave in every time, thatís why he did what he did.

    Those are the facts, good news is you closed the door, at least I hope you did, I hope this wasnít ploy to get a response out of him, given itís actually been months since heís contacted you, due to your other safe guard of filtered messages which you inexplicably checked but I digress, I hope youíre serious and I hope you maybe take some time to look within with this whole situation and see what attracted you to him to begin with given his unavailability.

  2. #22
    Member MrsWise's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by figureitout23
    I also said tell him to leave you alone...

    Ignoring him in the past didnít work because you didnít ignore him, you gave in every time, thatís why he did what he did.

    Those are the facts, good news is you closed the door, at least I hope you did, I hope this wasnít ploy to get a response out of him, given itís actually been months since heís contacted you, due to your other safe guard of filtered messages which you inexplicably checked but I digress, I hope youíre serious and I hope you maybe take some time to look within with this whole situation and see what attracted you to him to begin with given his unavailability.
    In the past i didn't intentionally ignore him. He contacted me but I didn't see his message as they got filtered. I accidently saw them a year later when he reached out again despite not getting response from me . And no it wasn't ploy to get response out of him this time. He would have likely reached out again some time down the road. so it doesn't matter that it's been 2 months since he sent that message. His first contact was on skype which was January. I blocked him. I thought that was it..he will get lost as he was likely bored when he contacted me on skype
    I didn't hear from him again because my face-book was still deactivated.

    Then few months later I reactivated my facebook but I hardly logged in and use it. He must have messaged me again around this time but they got filtered. I decided to deactivate my page again after 2 months for unrelated reasons and I was still unaware of his messages

    Then I decided to reactivate my face book for the sole purpose of looking for a pictures in old my messages from my sister. That's how I stumbled his messages he had sent 2 months prior. First he contacted me using a fresh page of his name. then he opened a different page with different name and contacted me again. He even video called me but I don't have massager. I saw missed calls from him. I just wanted to put an end to it

  3. #23
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by MrsWise
    In the past i didn't intentionally ignore him. He contacted me but I didn't see his message as they got filtered. I accidently saw them a year later when he reached out again despite not getting response from me . And no it wasn't ploy to get response out of him this time. He would have likely reached out again some time down the road. so it doesn't matter that it's been 2 months since he sent that message. His first contact was on skype which was January. I blocked him. I thought that was it..he will get lost as he was likely bored when he contacted me on skype
    I didn't hear from him again because my face-book was still deactivated.

    Then few months later I reactivated my facebook but I hardly logged in and use it. He must have messaged me again around this time but they got filtered. I decided to deactivate my page again after 2 months for unrelated reasons and I was still unaware of his messages

    Then I decided to reactivate my face book for the sole purpose of looking for a pictures in old my messages from my sister. That's how I stumbled his messages he had sent 2 months prior. First he contacted me using a fresh page of his name. then he opened a different page with different name and contacted me again. He even video called me but I don't have massager. I saw missed calls from him. I just wanted to put an end to it
    Ok Mrs. Wise, if you want to keep deluding yourself, no one is stopping you.

    At the end of the day you have choices, he has the power over you, you gave him, if you didnt want to see his messages you wouldnt, its really that simple.

    You went as far as blocking him and deactivating your social media to avoid him, yet when you reactivate to 'check for your sisters picture' you made the choice to check your filtered messages...why? Is your sister blocked? Of course she isnt, you chose to check those messages, own that.

    Now, even though its been months, and you could easily just not check your filtered messages, you chose to write him, a proactive approach, which good for you, but if you just did it in the hopes that it reignites the cat and mouse games, I feel for you.

    If not, BRAVO! The healing can truly begin, like I said, first things first, take a serious look at why you were so wrapped up in such a dead end situation.

    I wish you luck on your journey, it will be hard, healing usually is, but stay strong, honest and hopeful and you will make it.

  4. #24
    Member MrsWise's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by figureitout23
    Ok Mrs. Wise, if you want to keep deluding yourself, no one is stopping you.

    At the end of the day you have choices, he has the power over you, you gave him, if you didnt want to see his messages you wouldnt, its really that simple.

    You went as far as blocking him and deactivating your social media to avoid him, yet when you reactivate to 'check for your sisters picture' you made the choice to check your filtered messages...why? Is your sister blocked? Of course she isnt, you chose to check those messages, own that.

    Now, even though its been months, and you could easily just not check your filtered messages, you chose to write him, a proactive approach, which good for you, but if you just did it in the hopes that it reignites the cat and mouse games, I feel for you.

    If not, BRAVO! The healing can truly begin, like I said, first things first, take a serious look at why you were so wrapped up in such a dead end situation.

    I wish you luck on your journey, it will be hard, healing usually is, but stay strong, honest and hopeful and you will make it.
    Yes I did deactivate my facebook to avoid him when he dropped me 4 years ago so that way i can focus on my healing and moving on. I had enough. It helped me tremendously as he became a distance memory over time. Out of sight out of mind. And no he wasn't blocked since he had no active face book account. I couldn't block him as he deleted his real page years ago and only opens a page to contact me... Moreover, I set my settings to only have friends of friends send me friend request and only friends to contact me years prior before I met him . It wasn't about anyone is particular nor had it had anything to do with him. I was getting too many random friend request.

    I wasn't aware that any messages from random people would automatically filtered and I won't get notifications from them. I honestly wasn't aware of this. As far as reading filtered messages, I accidently clicked on manage request while looking through old messages from my sister and from other people.I have to admit that hearing from did stir up old feelings and opened old wounds but I wasn't looking for his messages specifically . I honestly didn't expect him to reach out as it been 4 years.Trust me, his contact isn't flattering anymore and i was like ugh here we go again. And I find his behaviour odd considering the fact that he showed little to no interest in me when we reconnected last time. Now he is putting all this effort to contact me and chasing me hard...which i know history will repeat itself if i give in. And he knew that we were on different page. I was more invested into him than he was


    I wrote to him because I felt like ignoring might not be enough as it leaves that door open for him to try again, as he did in the past. And like I said, I didn't wait for his response and deleted the APP right after and deleted his number. I also deactivated my face book again for now until the dust settles and hopefully he got the message and move on.

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  6. #25
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Excellent, I hope you move on as well

  7. #26
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    Don't let curiosity get the best of you. Don't reinstall the app or reactivate your Facebook and check the filtered messages. Just let it be.

  8. #27
    Member MrsWise's Avatar
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    Thank you for your advice. Knowing that nothing good will come out of engaging in him will enforce me to stay strong

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