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Thread: How to politely tell an ex stop contacting me?

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    It's not really something special when an ex gets in contact. Just about every guy I dated, whether I broke up with him or vice versa, has done so. The only time you should possibly take it as something more is if the guy says, "I realize now that we should've never broken up and I want to give it another shot." Otherwise, it's temporary boredom from a dry spell in dating he's having. Emotionally move on so your heart will be ready for someone who's serious about dating you.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    I think he was just toying with you. You assumed that he started a new account just to get in touch with you again. Maybe..maybe not. Maybe he messaged a lot of people as he felt he wanted to reach out to any number of people after his hiatus. In other words, I'm sorry but I don't think you were ever as important to him as you made yourself out to be (in your mind).

    Try focusing on your healing and making sure you don't remain vulnerable to the attentions of people like this. You had a soft spot for him at one point so it does mean that you cared for him. That couldn't sustain itself but I don't think you learned enough from it and asked yourself the tough questions why or grew from the experience learning why it can't work or why it shouldn't work being long distance and so on.

    To answer your header question: At this point considering your history and how much he's toyed with you I'm not sure you should have to politely tell him anything. Let go and block/delete all his contact information and try focusing more on you and your happiness in your present time, your locale.

  3. #13
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    If the message was in the filtered messages why did you even read it? I filter messages so I DON'T have to see them.

    "I just saw messages from my filtered messages on facebook"

  4. #14
    Gold Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Be gentle yet firm. You can tell him respectfully that it's time for both of you to go your separate ways and move on with your lives. Be nice about this. Also, give him fair warning should he continue to contact you against your wishes. Ask him to please honor and respect your wishes otherwise you will block him.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    yea it was a typo. I don't want him to try again and be reminded of what happened again. I really don't. and yes I'm over him but that doesn't mean contact from him is not painful and only makes me relive the pain i went though
    Thatís actually exactly what it means. When you heal you reach indifference, thatís the opposite of love not pain, thatís whatís felt when youíre still carrying it all on your shoulders. Work on letting go. No more checking your filtered messages.

  7. #16
    Member MrsWise's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by figureitout23
    Thatís actually exactly what it means. When you heal you reach indifference, thatís the opposite of love not pain, thatís whatís felt when youíre still carrying it all on your shoulders. Work on letting go. No more checking your filtered messages.
    yea i get what you're saying. Part of me still cares. But honestly i hadn't thought about him for long time and have no desire reconnect things with him. It was out of sight out of my mind. contact from him open old wounds that had healed all this time. I have been seeing someone else for 2 years now who i like very much

  8. #17
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by MrsWise
    .How do i tell him nicely that i don't want to hear from you?
    Nicely? Why nicely? He hasn't exactly been very nice to you, has he?
    It doesn't need to be either nice or not. Just very matter of fact.
    Don't contact any more. Done.

  9. #18
    Member MrsWise's Avatar
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    Against everyone's advice, i finally did. I sent a one way message telling i don't want to hear from him and not to contact me again. Then i deleted the APP. Ignoring hasn't worked in the past. I just felt like this is something i had to do to. If he does message i will ignore but at least i feel better knowing that he knows where i stand

  10. #19
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Ok now you can show it to your bf. This way when he contacts you again you'll have proof that you asked him to stop contacting you.
    Originally Posted by MrsWise
    I sent a one way message telling i don't want to hear from him and not to contact me again. If he does message i will ignore

  11. #20
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    Originally Posted by MrsWise
    Against everyone's advice, i finally did. I sent a one way message telling i don't want to hear from him and not to contact me again. Then i deleted the APP. Ignoring hasn't worked in the past. I just felt like this is something i had to do to. If he does message i will ignore but at least i feel better knowing that he knows where i stand
    Um, that wasn't against "everyone's advice". Several people (including me) advised you to tell him to leave you alone, then block him.

    If you truly want him to stop I think you did the right thing.

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