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Thread: Just friends?

  1. #21
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    But the remaining options are better than doors slamming in your face and rejections. You have to put in more effort and go on a lot of dates but chasing no-go situations is a recipe for frustration.
    Originally Posted by Tomthumb88
    If I put everyone who dating as “off limits” there aren’t going to be many options

  2. #22
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    You’re right.. although it wasn’t presented as a no-go or at least it didn’t seem so.
    Regardless I’m not chasing anything

  3. #23
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    she tells me she has a BF.
    This is all I'd need to hear to back off, and it would have been part of my initial conversation, not afterward.

    Add this on top of it being a colleague, and there'd be nothing left to say beyond business--and only on the job.

  4. #24
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    Ok but I wasn’t the driver of all this, she was. That’s were the confusion came from. Why would I ask a woman if she had a bf after she asked me on a date?

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  6. #25
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Tomthumb88
    Ok but I wasn’t the driver of all this, she was. That’s were the confusion came from. Why would I ask a woman if she had a bf after she asked me on a date?
    You’re right by your interpretation it makes no sense, so either she’s bat**** crazy and a cheat or you got the wrong impression by her wanting to ‘hang out’, it happens, the reality of all this? Who knows, why even give it a second thought? It’s really not worth it. You seem to want to bash her but at the end of the day, cheat or overly friendly, she’s not your problem.

  7. #26
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Tomthumb88
    I’m supposed to do this to protect the sanctity if their relationship? I’m not even sure there is a BF or how advanced this relationship is. If I put everyone who dating as “off limits” there aren’t going to be many options
    Yes, you're supposed to know your boundaries because she has a BF. Out of respect for the BF and their BF / GF relationship, you need to play it cool. You can still remain civil and peaceful but you control yourself by backing away politely and with integrity. Those who have a BF or GF are certainly "off limits" to you and anybody. This is the purpose of having a GF / BF relationship. Outsiders are just that: Outsiders to a GF / BF relationship. It's common sense.

  8. #27
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Tomthumb88
    Ok but I wasn’t the driver of all this, she was. That’s were the confusion came from. Why would I ask a woman if she had a bf after she asked me on a date?
    It doesn't matter if you weren't the driver in all this. You can't control other people. However, you can control yourself and become empowering. Since she is acting inappropriately, you're the one who should know how to decline her overtures and act like a classy, honorable gentleman. She has a BF. Know where to draw the line.

    There are people whom I don't like in my life. They're the driver, too but I know when and how to say, "NO." I say, "No, thank you" quite often. You can remain respectful yet firm. You'll receive respect taking this route, too. Or, should, at least.

  9. #28
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    Originally Posted by figureitout23

    Or, it’s possible you misconstrued her friendship as flirting, it’s happens a lot, especially in work settings.
    I was just about to ask this^; in my life I've had men misinterpret my being friendly as flirting, especially at work.

    I'd never go on "dates" though or back to their homes, so that's a bit confusing.

    OP can you give us a few examples of how she was "flirting"? We may be more objective than you since we're not emotionally involved.

    IF she was genuinely flirting and you felt like she was coming on to you, she has extremely poor boundaries and can you imagine if she was your girlfriend and behaving that way with other men, under the guise as "friends"?

    Going on "dates" and back to theirs?

    Anyway, I'm interested in examples of how she was flirting or why you interpreted it as flirting.
    Last edited by katrina1980; 07-22-2019 at 08:40 PM.

  10. #29
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    Ha.. I’m able to tell when women are being flirty and I was also being very flirty. And I’m not blaming her for anything, I like her and we had fun together. When I originally posted this I was having the urge to force something to happen so I came here to vent a bit so I wouldn’t.

  11. #30
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    Also, she said she was “seeing someone” not that she was in some serious relationship. Now I didn’t push for more information so I have no idea if that means “been on a few dates” or “talking marriage”.

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