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Thread: Friends who are flaky/ don't show up

  1. #11
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    If a friend stood me up for no particular reason and made to attempt to explain their behavior, then I would downgrade my interest accordingly.

    If a friend had the tickets for the concert (expensive outing) and made me miss some or all of the concert? they had better have their keg in a cast next time we see each other and a refund for my ticket.

    There's rudeness, then there is a consistent passive hostility. I don't need friends to abuse me.

  2. #12
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    Why are you putting up with this nonsense? She should be more responsible and respect you, and your efforts and time. Sorry, but I have little patience these days with some people, but that's just me. You say you love her dearly, so I guess it all boils down to how much you are willing to take.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    I don't like flaky friends. They're ditzy and unreliable. Perhaps she has ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder).

    If I were you, I'd back off. Don't initiate any socializing whatsoever. Decline socializing several times and eventually she'll implore you to get together with her. Then perhaps one day, she'll get serious about sticking to her word and punctuality.

  4. #14
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    I've had a couple of friends who were very unreliable, one in particular being so flaky that if we were planning to do something I'd have to think two steps ahead to prevent her messing things up and landing me with serious problems and expense. I eventually decided that I didn't want this, and that some people are best enjoyed at a distance.

    So, although we're still in touch to say "Hi!", I wouldn't make any arrangements which would involve them being on time or, indeed, turning up at all. For example, I'd arrange to meet at a gathering with other people there so it wouldn't matter if they were there or not. But I wouldn't be setting myself up for an evening, say, where I'd bought tickets for an event but would spend most/all of the night sitting there twiddling my thumbs and waiting.

    Life's too short.

  5.  

  6. 07-22-2019, 01:01 AM

  7. #15
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    She's passive aggressively showing you how much she values and respects you. Best to distance yourself, you've been more than understanding.

  8. #16
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    Yeahh, all sound advice :) thanks guys. Makes me feel at peace with my decisions.

  9. #17
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    The longest I'll wait for anyone is 15 minutes unless they've messaged me on their way. If I were stood up, they'd not hear a word from me again unless and until I receive an apology from them and an offer to make it up to me.

    Flakes speak for themselves with their behavior, and I don't have time or room in my life to indulge them.

  10. #18
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    Originally Posted by catfeeder
    The longest I'll wait for anyone is 15 minutes unless they've messaged me on their way. If I were stood up, they'd not hear a word from me again unless and until I receive an apology from them and an offer to make it up to me.

    Flakes speak for themselves with their behavior, and I don't have time or room in my life to indulge them.
    Yes! Perfect answer, catfeeder! I feel the same way.

  11. #19
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    Friends that flake on me with no solid reason frustrate the hell out of me, I swear. The worst is when they don't even send a text or call you that they are canceling, nothing. And there are alot of them. I typically do everything in my power to be on time and go through with plans, and if I can't, I actually have the decency to say sorry and reschedule.

    If a 'friend' flakes on me enough times, I usually start flaking on them back to give them a taste of their own medicine so that they can see how rude it is. Eventually though I'll just stop talking to them altogether. There are other people out there who won't waste my time.

  12. #20

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    Hi flatsquirrel,
    I am sorry you're experience this. I understand how frustrating this can be. But I can tell that you are very caring and want to salvage the friendship if possible.

    Have you considered talking with your friend and telling her how you feel? Honesty is such a good thing for friendship, even when it's hard to hear.

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