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Recent IG post but we've now broken up. Should I delete the image?


Darlington

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Hello all! 2 days ago my boyfriend broke up with me after a year together. I've gone straight into no contact which I intend to keep for the rest of my life. There were no fights, it's just that his feelings didn't developed the way he hoped they would. I'm upset that the realisation didn't come sooner, but glad it didn't come any later. So I accepted what he said, didn't beg and plead, just walked away and into no contact.

 

I have a question that I would appreciate your views on: I had recently posted an image on Instagram of the two of us from a wedding about a month ago. The first "coupelly" image I've posted of us, but I'm not a big social media user...I only have 12 IG posts. I'm now wondering whether I should remove the image or not? I don't want to appear petty but want to disappear from his world. Or should I just leave it up there, ignore what he may think it means and continue moving on? Please be kind with your responses, it is still very raw and I'm just trying to do the right thing by me in moving on.

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Don't concern yourself with pettiness or what hey may or may not think. Concern yourself with your own well-being . If seeing the photo bothers you, delete it. Delete it for any reason you choose. Do what's best for yourself and it's as simple as that. He broke up with you. You owe him nothing.

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Hi, so sorry to hear of your break up! I have just gone through essentially the exact same thing.

 

I personally removed the posts from mine, as I felt this was necessary. You are now single, and therefore there is no need to see the constant reminder on your page.

 

It’s not petty, it’s necessary in order to heal. He should understand this. At the end of the day, it’s your Instagram page and you have full control over the content on there. If you want to keep it up, go ahead. I just don’t think it’s healthy to.

 

I have gone no contact also while it’s pretty tough if ex’s still try and contact you, it’s seriously needed in order to heal. Stay strong!

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You said you are not a big Instagram user so it wouldn’t be odd if you didn’t visit the site for months.

 

Yet here you are questioning his thoughts on your IG motions?

 

“ Or should I just leave it up there, ignore what he may think it means and continue moving on? ”

 

This sounds like you deleting the pic is to be provocative rather than self healing?

 

Why?

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Deleting or keeping it there makes no difference to me. I'm not trying to be provocative, I'm not trying to get him back and I'm not trying to manipulate the situation. I was just asking what people thought.

 

I'm not a big IG user no, but given that the image was only posted recently, I didn't know whether it made sense to just delete it or to leave it. That's all.

 

The relationship is over and sad as it may be now, I am okay with it.

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Sorry this happened. What did he mean by "feelings didn't develop"? Was there a discrepancy in goals, values or timelines such as commitment, living together or getting married? Were these discussed recently? It sounds like he used a vague excuse as an exit plan.

 

Replace the photo with another one of you enjoying the wedding with friends. Also delete and block him and All his people from All your social media and All your messaging apps and reset your privacy setting. Retool and refresh your internet presence to represent a single life.

2 days ago my boyfriend broke up with me after a year together.There were no fights, it's just that his feelings didn't developed the way he hoped they would.

 

I had recently posted an image on Instagram of the two of us from a wedding about a month ago.

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That was easy.

 

Deleted.

 

Me personally, I don’t delete stuff, it’s all a part of my story, plus, I personally do see it as petty when two people break up and they immediately delete everything of them off their social media, I don’t know, I always saw it as immature personally. That’s my opinion as an outsider. I think keeping your peace is most important, whatever you feel will help you move forward do it, that was deleting the picture so problem solved.

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Sorry this happened. What did he mean by "feelings didn't develop"? Was there a discrepancy in goals, values or timelines such as commitment, living together or getting married? Were these discussed recently? It sounds like he used a vague excuse as an exit plan.

 

Replace the photo with another one of you enjoying the wedding with friends. Also delete and block him and All his people from All your social media and All your messaging apps and reset your privacy setting. Retool and refresh your internet presence to represent a single life.

 

Thank you Wiseman2. That's exactly the approach I have taken. My aim is to move on. If I was not what he wanted, that's okay. I will be that to someone else.

 

To be honest I don't see any point in agonising about what he meant or didn't mean. It makes no difference now. He doesn't see/want a future with me. If he did we wouldn't be here. We would be working through whatever the issue. I've cried and cried, but it's okay. One day the tiers will stop.

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That was easy.

 

Deleted.

 

Me personally, I don’t delete stuff, it’s all a part of my story, plus, I personally do see it as petty when two people break up and they immediately delete everything of them off their social media, I don’t know, I always saw it as immature personally. That’s my opinion as an outsider. I think keeping your peace is most important, whatever you feel will help you move forward do it, that was deleting the picture so problem solved.

 

Thank you for your comment. But I think that's what I needed to do. Given how recently it was posted. I'm okay with the decision.

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I have gone no contact also while it’s pretty tough if ex’s still try and contact you, it’s seriously needed in order to heal. Stay strong!

 

I agree and fortunately for you Chloe, your ex isn't trying to contact you which should make healing easier and faster.

 

Darlington, I'm sorry you're hurting, best to not allow him any access to you whatsoever, through social media, texting, email, phone or through friends.

 

Do not discuss him with friends or allow them to discuss him with you. Doing so will only keep you stuck and prevent you from moving on.

 

Talking to a good qualified therapist would be much more beneficial Imo. At least for a time, I recently ended my 1.5 year relationship and finding therapy surprisingly helpful!!

 

Also important is to always be honest w yourself and real, do not tell yourself stories or harbor notions/fantasies that he regrets his decision, or of getting back together.

 

That is super important! In time, you will be able to let go and heal.

 

You sound quite strong which is so great!

 

You will have your weak moments but that's ok, and to be expected.

 

They will pass.

 

Best of luck moving forward!!

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