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Thread: Advice on Dating girl not over her ex

  1. #11
    Platinum Member
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    Originally Posted by figureitout23
    OPer are you sure you aren’t attached to the idea of proving yourself to her?

    I’m asking because she’s done nothing that I see that would liken herself to you...

    I’m trying but I can’t inagine any scenario where I walk into a first date with a guy and he spends the entire time talking about himself and his ex and me thinking after: ‘this guys a keeper!’

    See what I mean, there’s a disconnect here, she’s rebounding, no question, and shame on her for dragging you into her mess but I gotta ask what is appealing about this flaming disaster?
    My ex loved it when his girlfriends cheated on him and then came back to him because he thought it proved he was "better" than the other guy.

    Some people really have that ego competition thing going on.

  2. #12
    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    People on the rebound are still grieving over their last breakup and not ready to love a new person yet. They often act flaky.

    If you continue to play with her, chances are, she will drop you out of the blue, and it's going to be painful. You are already seeing the signs but you are not listening.

    Your big clue: There are other women in the world you could date that don't have dealbreaking problems.

  3. #13
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    This woman is a walking disaster area, and you'd be best to let her go.

    She's not into you.

    She's full hooked up on her ex, but bet your sweet bippy, she is thoroughly enjoying getting treated to meals and affection and sex and being fully spoiled as a filler, but that's all it is, is a filler...she's using you.

    The fact that you still treat her, and listen to her drone on about her ex the whole time, questions YOU and why are you doing this? She's a mess...she's not into you...stop...STOP!

    Move on. This girl is a bust.

  4. #14
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    Originally Posted by RoninX
    I feel like I am in competition with this guy and what sucks even more is that he is still seeing other girls, living his life up while he is still able to control her and make whoever she tries to move on with's life a nightmare trying to date her. It's like he holds all the cards. I hate her situation but at the same time the misery has kind of just bled into my self esteem to know that I can't even get her attention off an awful guy like he was to her. She said used to yell at her, berate her, kick her out, constantly cheat on her, etc. The whole situation is just totally confusing and I don't know whether or give up or hold out. Any advice?
    You're not a competitor. You're not in the same race.

    Don't tie your self esteem to this guy. The important piece of the puzzle you're missing is he is obviously very capable at attracting women. And when a person is good at attracting mates, they can get away with some pretty bad behaviour. If you dated your favorite sexy movie star, It's a safe bet they could walk all over you and you would just smile. It's an inconvenient fact of life. It's the fact of life behind 'nice guy' fallacy. Attractive people get away with more. Women and men just don't want nice. They want that tingling sensation.

    Stop being confused. This really is a no brainer. Run away from this situation and don't get involved in other people's crap. Raise your standards.

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