Jump to content

My old friend and I


Debby39

Recommended Posts

right. I have an amazing husband, we have been together for 22 years.

He’s so lovely to me, we have a daughter aged 9 etc and on paper everything is good. Apart from the sex. Now don’t get me wrong it’s good sex and when we do have it it’s great but he does not want it as much as me and I find this hard. I just crave the sexual attention, I am terrible. Here’s where it gets awful... I have this friend from the past and we were friends as couples, they were married and me and him just used to sext/ flirt and we kissed and did a few bits drunk but we stopped it all. Now only lately we are talking again but I am trying to stop it but I’m just under the silly spell again and I am a I know.

He texts me for hours and he wants us to take this into a full blown FWB situation. Now he’s as horny as me and thats how this started he wasn’t getting much sex either. Now I’m too scared and I really do love my husband but I’m just craving this attention does anyone have any advice for me? Or anyone done anything similar?

Link to comment
  • Replies 82
  • Created
  • Last Reply

I have been loyal like I say we’ve been together since we were kids. You know it’s been the odd flirt here and there etc, but until this situation nothing like this.

My hubby can be affection less at times though that is what’s wrong here and as you know things aren’t always rosy, sometimes I do get fed up of being the one who always seems to initiate sex, hes just not into it like I am.

Link to comment

But you haven't been loyal.

 

Google emotional cheating. Plus you've engaged in making out with another man and are sexting behind your husbands back.

 

End the affair or end the marriage...those are your two choices. But to string both men along is very wrong, especially if you've got children involved.

 

You could also consider getting sex toys for yourself.

Link to comment

I know it sounds very basic, but you can't force someone to have the same sex drive as you, nor should you.

 

It sounds like he does as much as he's willing to do, (hey, at least he is giving you sex).

 

But I was being serious, get some sex toys, do what you have to do, ALONE.

Link to comment

But you don't have to have an affair - you know you want to have sex with this guy and you are married. So you have to decide whether the sex is worth ending your marriage over. If it's not worth it you have your answer. Surely you don't want permission to cheat on your husband? Have you tried marital counseling? And sure sex toys should help take the edge off.

Link to comment

Hey Debbie, I have been on the same page. I know exactly what it feels like.

 

But cheating is not a fix.

 

Talk to your husband, get to counselling if need be, get some sex toys, do what you have to do...but cheating and lying and doing these things behind his back is wrong and they aren't solutions.

Link to comment
I do want to yes but I know that I’m not going to it’s just a few messages. He’s also in a relationship. No not permission I wanna just wondering if perhaps someone would come along who’s had a similar experience

 

Many people have I am sure. That is why the wedding vows exist -if people were never tempted you wouldn't need to reiterate those vows. I have a kind of celebrity crush on a radio personality and it's fun for me - and no I'm not going to tell my husband because it might hurt his feelings and why? It doesn't affect my marriage or vows -it's just fun to listen to his radio show and his banter and feel a slight tingle. It's normal. Sure you might get someone who cheated on her husband because she wanted to have sex more than her husband and figured cheating was an easy way to take care of needs as well as have that thrill of being naughty (and then likely feel like vomiting but whatever).

 

I think you might get validation for "I know how you feel, my husband gained weight after we got married, stopped wanting to have sex, etc - and my neighbor was a body builder and unhappy in his marriage too so ..." How is that going to help you??

Link to comment

Sat down, told him how bad it was bothering me, tried to find a solution that worked for both of us, considered ending it if we couldn't find a solution.

 

Cried, got frustrated, felt bad.

 

But I still worked it out with just me and my partner and didn't involve anyone else. Counselling is a huge consideration though..seriously, not just marriage but individual counselling or a combination of both.

 

But cheating? Nope, I won't lower myself to that. I have needs, but I can control it and I would prefer to either fix my relationship first or admit its non fixable, end it, then find someone else.

 

In that order.

Link to comment

Can I explain though I don’t know what it is about this other guy.

 

I can’t work him out at all

 

He acts not bothered but I can tell he must be for the amount of hours that he speaks to me.

 

I don’t know why he’s wanting to cross the line

Link to comment

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...