Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 23

Thread: Wife may be lacking commitment to us

  1. #11
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    11,816
    You come on here frequently asking for advice (allegedly), then proceed to get into written altercations with almost everyone who responds.

    Are you just looking to get into online disputes? Serious question, because every time you post you get annoyed at the responses...yet, you keep returning to post.

    I wonder if you really believe any of the responders can help you.

    And I fail to see how your wife giving away unwanted hand me down used baby clothes translates to her "lacking commitment to" the marriage.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    50,156
    I agree with the others. All couples have their boundaries about decision making - for example some couples know to consult one another if they plan to spend over $500 while for other couples it might be $50. I bet all couples make mistakes either consulting too much (meaning - why do I need to know you’re buying the back to the future dvd set before I’ve had my coffee) or too little. And mostly you let it go. Because we’re human and not mind readers. I gave away a lot of baby and toddler clothes and made maybe a passing comment to my husband BUT I would never give away clothing his family gave us that had any significance without asking him. Because I know he’d want to know. Your jobs as spouses are to do your best in knowing each other, in really listening so that these kinds of conflicts are lessened and if they happen you trust each other to know that it was an innocent mistake of judgment and you move past it. Good luck and congrats on your little boy!!

  3. #13
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    Central Canada
    Posts
    13,645
    Gender
    Female
    Well, my wife never told me any of this, and wouldn't have told me anything about it if I didn't ask.

    This represents (1) very, very innocuous issue, but the principal of the matter (her not telling me stuff, and just colluding with them behind my back - when im not around) and just doing it is really what I'm pissed off about.
    The last thing in the world my husband would give a flying **** about is what I did with a bag of hand me down clothes. SMH.

    Op: I'm wondering, and asked without malice, do you take 'supplements' to help you lift? Anything that may cause you to become angry over something so trivial? (Roids, maybe?)

  4. #14
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared
    Age
    52
    Posts
    36,697
    Gender
    Female
    Right? Jeebus. My husband wouldn’t even know the bag was there if it was sitting on his head. He wouldn’t give a CRAP about me giving used clothes to my nieces .
    Originally Posted by ThatwasThen
    The last thing in the world my husband would give a flying **** about is what I did with a bag of hand me down clothes. SMH.

  5.  

  6. #15
    Platinum Member Bunney's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Europe
    Posts
    1,840
    Gender
    Female
    Having read some of your previous threads, it is so blatantly obvious that for some reason I cannot quite fathom yet (and no, the playful jabs he made at you are NOT reason to hate him like you do) you deeply, deeply despise your wife's family, and especially both your brothers in law (AND their children on top of that, who are innocent in all this!).

    I don't think this is about her giving away the babyclothes at all, you're just mad that she's giving them to your brother-in-law. You even had to include that he has no financial need for free clothes, just to emphasize how non-deserving he is of the clothes.

    What is it with you? You seem extremely insecure, resentful, angry and and all around unpleasant person to be around. From reading your past threads it almost seems like you are jealous of your BIL's and/or have inferiority issues going on, hence your extreme and unusual dislike towards them. In NONE of the threads you've written I could see anything in their behavior that would warrant such disdain from you. If I were you I would take some time to re-evaluate yourself and figure out what the in the heck is really going on with yourself.

    You and your wife have broken up several times before, took 8 yrs to propose and you only ended up doing it because she was pressuring you, there have always been issues in the relationship such as you never quite figuring out if you were truly happy in it, and you were never able to envision your life with your in-laws constantly being a part of it. You now say you would "prefer not to divorce" because you "care a lot about her" rather than divorce is not an option because she's the love of your life (the way you phrase things on here says a lot about your true feelings about something or someone). On top of your insecurity with yourself, I sense some deep-seated unhappiness in the relationship with your wife & your continuous anger and paranoia that they are somehow "plotting against you" may just be a symptom of that. Just some things to think about.

  7. #16
    Silver Member BecxyRex's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Posts
    318
    Gender
    Female
    I am so thankful that I don’t have to deal with your pettiness personally. I’ve given away assloades of Baby clothes that my daughter outgrew and my fiancé has never made a peep about it, let alone notice. I’m so thankful for him in this moment I think I’m going to run him a bubble bath and pour him a glass of whiskey.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    50,156
    Never mind.......
    Last edited by Batya33; 07-20-2019 at 07:18 PM.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    10,392
    Yoooooooooooo I've eaten my fair share of infractions without complaint, but that one was dirty. Come on now.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    22,184
    Gender
    Female
    Lifter, really. They are baby clothes. Why not consider how you can adopt more generosity of spirit and stop acting like the baby in the family?

  11. #20
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    23,943
    Gender
    Female
    It appears my wife colludes with them to make decisions about our family matters such as T without informing me at all what is going on.

    Most recently - we got a trash bag full of hand-me-down clothes from her coworker. Some of them never fit T, or are not wanted (all her choice).

    Anyway, today I see her putting some more stuff in that trash bag. I ask, "oh what is in the trash bag" she mentions "oh, i was going to give this trash bag full of clothes to my BIL/SIL" - her brother, and SIL.

    (Keep in mind, this brother has zero need for it (financially) speaking - their having their first boy in ~1 month) - seems innocuous, huh?


    What school to choose, whether you spank or don't spank, etc are parenting choices. Passing on clothing that you were given for free that you will not use is not a parenting decision. They were give to HER, not you, and she is getting rid of what the child will not use or will use but not for several years. In the meantime, another child can wear it and it can be handed back down. Even parents who make decent money are helped immensely by hand me downs. Kids are expensive

Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •