Why will my ex not give me peace even after blocking end ending it?

[katrina1980]

If he didn’t care, and was moving on as I thought we were, why is he still finding a way to do this and get at me?

Are you actually serious with this question? Really?

Come on now, you know better, you must.

This isn't him caring or him not moving on, it's EGO. 100% pure ego, nothing more, nothing less.

I suspect however you want it to mean he still cares and hasn't moved on, because you haven't.

I mean if you were truly moving on or even trying to, this thread wouldn't even exist.

Which is ok, I've been there, it takes time to heal.

But please, do not be telling yourself stories that he still cares and hasn't moved on for goodness sakes, he is the one who blew you off; if he still cared, he would not have blown you off and you would still be together.

I would also advise to get some new friends and stop posting pics on Instagram. At least for now

The pics of you and the other guy? You had to have known he would see them somehow, or be told about them, so I have to question your motives and if subconsciously wanted to stir up drama, it keeps it all alive and you connected.

Time for you to move on Chloe. Seriously it's time.

Let it all go, release.

[Chloej123]

Thanks for all the responses. While I do completely agree my friends shouldn’t have told me, they feel obliged to also as they were unsure of the most recent updates in this situation.

Some of us live quite far from each other and I don’t speak to them everyday, so they told me as I had not updated them on me blocking him etc.

I guess I did some thinking and while I am completely done, I just feel slightly bad for posting the Instagram stories now. This is because I was imagining how I’d feel if the shoe was on the other foot. If I saw him posting pics and videos of being away with another girl this soon after, I would feel so so angry and conflicted. Purely because I would be like so how do you move on that fast!?

Why am I feeling bad, is this normal!?

I know I am healing still, but I don’t understand this weird feeling of now feeling bad for seemingly moving on too quick.

[ninjabib]

No offense intended, but this is the result of you sending out the bait. I have a hunch that you knew this would get back to your ex through other friends on social media.

I'm sure I won't score any brownie points here, but if you truly want to end it and move on, you will, if not you'll find an excuse.

100% agree with Heartgoeson, you had a nice day out/away whatever and then as a 'bonus' your ex has found out and it's given you a little ego boost that he has reacted but then i also agree with the other posters here, his reaction isn't about YOU, it's about him. He is leaving you alone, you are not leaving you alone. I would consider blocking those friends from your social media too because they are either ignorant or looking to cause drama.

[Chloej123]

Also in relation to responses saying I did this in for attention or a reaction from him, I actually didn’t.

I use Instagram A LOT. For work, socially etc. So for me I post where I am in the world as I travel all the time and the place I went to was very beautiful.

My close friends on Instagram I would not want to block just because of him. Yes, I have now remover HIS friends I had on my Instagram. But never my own!

I agree it is very much for his ego. But I just don’t understand why he would even care to ask. I am getting over it, so I would like to think he is too.

[Wiseman2]

Yeah, often you have to delete and block the individual as well as all their people from all platforms. It's wise to reset your privacy setting if you are concerned with friends gossiping or them getting back to you about his derogatory remarks. It's doubtful he will feel jealous enough to come back. It doesn't sound like he attempting to contact you or bother you, so enjoy your peace.

I just got back from a trip with a male friend who had an event launch and invited me. I continued to post a few pics of the trip on my Instagram. I forgot I had friends of my ex’s on social media, who have obviously gone ahead and told him I am away with a guy.

[Chloej123]

Agreed. He tried to contact me but was blocked on everything. In his exact words to my friend ‘she’s blocked me but I’ve been told she’s away with a guy. Who is he and what is she playing at!? Another holiday with a new guy in less than a month, LOL’

Then there was the ‘tell her she’s unbelievable’

But you’re right. His friends need to go too now and they have.

[Batya33]

Agreed. He tried to contact me but was blocked on everything. In his exact words to my friend ‘she’s blocked me but I’ve been told she’s away with a guy. Who is he and what is she playing at!? Another holiday with a new guy in less than a month, LOL’

Then there was the ‘tell her she’s unbelievable’

But you’re right. His friends need to go too now and they have.

Yes and question why your friend would share that with you. I had a "friend" who shared information about my ex with me (when we were exploring getting back together) and pretended it was because she thought he was "cheating" on me (which he couldn't have been -we weren't together) but the real reason is she wanted to be friends with the woman he'd been dating while we were not together. NIce.

[figureitout23]

Also in relation to responses saying I did this in for attention or a reaction from him, I actually didn’t.

I use Instagram A LOT. For work, socially etc. So for me I post where I am in the world as I travel all the time and the place I went to was very beautiful.

My close friends on Instagram I would not want to block just because of him. Yes, I have now remover HIS friends I had on my Instagram. But never my own!

I agree it is very much for his ego. But I just don’t understand why he would even care to ask. I am getting over it, so I would like to think he is too.

It’s both of your egos.

For you to say, it’s not about my ego and then end it with asking again, why did he do that? You are asking so we can stroke your ego, you wanted someone to say he was being immature you now want someone to say he’s doing this because he isn’t over you, because you aren’t over him.

If I had to guess, I’d say you feel guilt not because you’ve moved on, but because it was done with ulterior motives.

[boltnrun]

You don't HAVE to post your vacation on Instagram. Your vacation has nothing to do with work.

What do YOU think the answer is to why he said those things? Do you think (or hope) he wants you back?

[katrina1980]

Also in relation to responses saying I did this in for attention or a reaction from him, I actually didn’t.

I use Instagram A LOT. For work, socially etc. So for me I post where I am in the world as I travel all the time and the place I went to was very beautiful.

Chloe, not sure who you think you are fooling perhaps yourself, cause it's not us.

You say you didn't do it for a reaction? Like none at all, it did not even occur to you that he would react?

What world do you live in that this would not even occur to you?

Of course he would react, and given how he blew you off and hurt you, imo it's perfectly normal that you would want him to react.

I've done it, many people have done it, and still do, wanting to hurt someone who has hurt us is a very normal human response.

Not saying it's right, it's not, not by a long shot, as FIO said, it's all about ego.

Your ego for wanting to stir some jealousy and him to react, and his response? The snarky, sarcastic LOL about you and the other guy??

All ego.

Again, not right, for either you or him, but it's human.

No disrespect but you seem quite self-righteous here.

Coming off as some sort of saint, feigning no motives other than wanting to post beautiful pics of the place you were visiting?

Not buying it and no one else is either, including HIM.

He's not stupid, he knew exactly why you posted them, which is why he responded with his snarky LOL. Not because he's "conflicted" and hurt.

That is how you would feel cause you still love him. They're not his feelings.

You're projecting which is also quite human after a break up, when our partner has hurt us and we still love that person.

Chloe, the reason why you are feeling so off is because you're in denial, about your feelings and motives and also about his.

Again, stop telling yourself stories... My advice is get yourself out of this denial, and start being honest and real with yourself otherwise you will never move on.

And to add -- I don't see this as him not leaving you alone. He IS leaving you alone, problem is you don't actually want him to leave you alone.

It's quite obvious so you may as well just own it, so you can begin your healing.

Apologies if this came off harsh, and not judging even though it comes off that way.

I've BTDT done that so totally get it, the denial, projection, the jealousy test, all of it.

I've learned a lot.