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Thread: Having MAJOR doubts about person I'm dating

  1. #11
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    We text all day - but again, not seeing me for two weeks,
    Why do you answer him? He's simply keeping you on the hook with these mean-nothing text convos so that you'll welcome him back for more sex when he's finished (most likely) schmoozing the girl in the next profile down.

    Ghost his azz.

  2. #12
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    Shylight, are you ready to walk away from this?

    I sure do hope so....

  3. #13
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    I think he was looking to get laid and you obliged. i suspect he's got at least one other girl in his life that he's dating/talking to/f*cking. This is not how relationships work that are healthy. You are right to think there's something wrong. Move on from this flake.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    I agree: it sounds a bit off. I'm not sure the reasons though. If he didn't volunteer why he cancelled, perhaps you should have asked if only to clear your mind and hear it straight from him. The facebook and roommate issues could be due to deep insecurity which are worse red flags than him casually seeing other people, to be honest with you. Maybe he is embarrassed about his living situation. I used to live with roommates when I was much younger and the situation wasn't that great. Overall I think his approach is a little unpolished and inexperienced (re. half-heartedly asking you out on a date for the weekend). To me he's harmless but also pointless in terms of the dating scene.

    Try meeting new people and go from there. Don't stay hung up on this.

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  6. #15
    Gold Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    He's over doing it with his gushing over you so soon.

    Texting all day is excessive. Beware because it's easy to get sick 'n tired of each other due to too much electronic communication. Ease up and back off.

    If he canceled on you just once, give him a free pass. If he's willing to make up for it by seeing you this weekend, see him. If he cancels on you twice, then this is a problem. Have a talk with him and see how you feel about how you wish to proceed further regarding habitual cancellations.

    Some couples don't see each other a lot. It depends on schedules, work, school, geographical location, inconvenience and hassle to travel, etc. If you're local, normally couples prefer to see each other as often as time permits.

    Not seeing each others FB is weird.

    You've only been dating for a month. Give it a few more weeks and see if he's willing to introduce you to his roommates then. If not, this is a curious problem. Ask him what his excuse is. Proceed from there.

    Give him another month and see how you feel. If you don't like his personality and if his character are red flags to you, then break it off and discontinue dating him.

    No, you're not crazy. Be with a normal guy. Abnormal guys will fizzle out of your life.

  7. #16
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    Something I learned the hard way - if normally you feel secure in relationship, feeling paranoid, anxious with a particular person should enough of a reason for you to walk away, you don't need a proof of something actually going on to justify letting go of someone, that gut feeling is enough. Since then I broke up 2 of my several friendships just because something felt off and I felt distrustful, I didn't feel around them like I feel with other friends and I felt I don't need any other excuse. My mental wellbeing will always be the most important thing - you don't know how precious it is until someone shakes it.

    Someone who uses lovebombing and sees a future together after 4 days of knowing each other seems like someone a) emotionally unstable and b) not particularly picky, but someone who instantly idealizes everyone that turns up as "the one". I don't like hanging out with emotionally unstable people because their word can't be trusted. Their words don't mean that much, they're not followed with actions. One day they say I love you like I haven't loved anyone before, then breakup with you without thinking it through, then apologize for it just hours later, after you've cried for hours, and say they still want the same thing and cancel all their said. I don't hate them for it, but it's just very exhausting. I know I'm reliable, not to quick with words and I can usually deliver my words into actions, so I don't want any less from my partner because I deserve equal respect.

    Lovebombing, writing they need you and then not needing to see you more than twice a month without explanations means they're really weird, they don't understand their own feelings and/or have a completely view different on a relationship (could be a really immature attitude to relationships). He might have some emotional issues as well, since lovebombing is associated with players and narcissist. If you had more reliable boyfriends in the past, ask yourself if there's something about this guy who makes him worth sticking to such a weird behavior or if you see him only because you don't have any other prospects at the moment. If it's the latter, if you make space in your life for a new boyfriend, you will start getting other prospects.

  8. #17
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    It sounds like he's already got a girlfriend and is looking for some strange.

  9. #18
    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    He's love bombing you after 4 days, but going two weeks without a date, and breaking dates? And his actions don't match his words?

    He's either not that into you or crazy. Both of those thongs are bad.

  10. #19
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    It appears he sees this as "mission accomplished." Keep in mind that he proceeded to the finish line with your consent.

    Learn the lesson...

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