Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 10 of 10

Thread: im depressed ! i dont want to lose my family !

  1. #1
    Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2019
    Posts
    5
    Gender
    Male

    im depressed ! i dont want to lose my family !

    hello, at first sorry for my english.. its not my first language.

    well, i met my wife before 6 years we have clicked since day one we loved each other for a year and we got married after that.
    my wife got pregnant within 2 months after our marriage, i was shocked because she was using plan b pill... and i wasn't ready ... but eventually, im glad i had my queen baby girl.

    after she when she gave birth, she asked traveled with her BFF to help her with her master's exam... but what i found out is they were hitting the clubs and she got a number of a guy that she met in the casino later on.
    when she came back, she told me that she met this guy and he is just a friend.. i checked his details and he was not what he told her " he lied about his name, his occupation, and everything" .. so i told her he's just a lier and she should not have a friends who is liars, she promised me to delete his number.

    a couple of months passed .. i couldn't sleep at night so i was watching my favorite tv show on the laptop... i look next to the laptop and i saw my black harddisk ... i just plugged it in and i was checking it for my old memories.. and what i FOUND is what made me here today!

    so, i clicked on the hard disk and my files weren't there... it was my wife's harddisk! it's just identical to mine !!
    im not the type of a guy who would like to investigate and check after her.... but i couldn't resist the file name! it was called XCALLER.
    so, i did what anyone would do... which is click on it ... and she had all her mobile phone calls recorded ! ... and yes i played them! i just wish i didn't
    she used to call her family and start complaining about me ... but it was all lies !
    and i founud out that she once called me to tell me that shes going to spend few hours at her BFF's house ... while she went out with a guy to a cafe !!!
    she went with her BFF to some guys apartment to have some marijuana !!
    i mean .. i was shocked .. seriously shocked!
    there was zero proof of her cheating .... but i took the risk and confronted her, and all what i got is that im lying and nothing is true .. "she doesn't know that i checked the hard disk"

    so.. since then i just hated my wife ... i cant even have fun around her ...

    after a couple of months... she asked me for forgiveness.... and i immediately did forgive her.
    but whenever we try to have sex, i seriously have the image of her and another guy in my head.

    i started to hate her more and more but i couldn't tell her... i keep having this swings about how much i love her and hate her in the same time... i feel betrayed.

    she was trying to have sex with me more and more .... and whenever i try to have the condom on, she takes it off and she tells me that she's going to have plan b pill.

    after 2 months ... she's pregnant!
    so, i when i checked under the bed i found 7 plan B pills thrown without a seal ! she used to take them infront of me and then spits them under the bed !!!

    i went crazy! i literally had depression ...
    16 months forward.. here i am writing this letter after our fight yesterday... we had fought because she just wants money,.... which i provide 24/7 and she just wants more!



    am i just stupid? why do i even love her ? ... i don't want my daughters to go throw what i went throw ... i don't want them to have a separated family ... i love my family... but what should i do?

  2. #2
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    May 2019
    Posts
    348
    Do you still love her?

    She is meeting men behind your back. Whether they are being intimate or not, this is not a good thing. She is lying about her birth control. This is not a good thing. You all are fighting a lot. That is not a good thing.

    First things first: Plan B is not a good form of preventative birth control! It is only supposed to be used in accidental cases! She could be seriously messing with her health!
    Second: Your daughters know that you are fighting. Children are smart. They can see, hear, and feel when their parents are at odds. In my opinion, a separated family is more healthy than a family that hates each other.
    Third: Quit giving her money. If she wants more, she can get it herself.
    Fourth: Couples counseling. Immediately.

  3. #3
    Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2019
    Posts
    5
    Gender
    Male
    Originally Posted by loyal
    Do you still love her?

    She is meeting men behind your back. Whether they are being intimate or not, this is not a good thing. She is lying about her birth control. This is not a good thing. You all are fighting a lot. That is not a good thing.

    First things first: Plan B is not a good form of preventative birth control! It is only supposed to be used in accidental cases! She could be seriously messing with her health!
    Second: Your daughters know that you are fighting. Children are smart. They can see, hear, and feel when their parents are at odds. In my opinion, a separated family is more healthy than a family that hates each other.
    Third: Quit giving her money. If she wants more, she can get it herself.
    Fourth: Couples counseling. Immediately.
    Yes, i do love her and hate her at the same time.
    i always use condoms but she keeps insisting to use plan b. in my country if we got divorced i have to pay to get her apartment/housekeeper/ driver .. etc which will break me!

    yes, you are right, my little queen saw that once and she told us to not do that :(
    as per her previous phone calls, i found out that her sister told her to keep my bank account zero so i don't have a chance to look at other girls!! i mean seriously !!!!
    i tried couples counseling and she won't go, she keeps giving me excuses.

  4. #4
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    May 2019
    Posts
    348
    What country?

  5.  

  6. #5
    Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2019
    Posts
    5
    Gender
    Male
    Originally Posted by loyal
    What country?
    Kuwait, the marriage rules are way confusing in here.
    if a woman got kids and got divorced she got many benefits ... more kids = more money to payed

    "In most divorce cases, husbands, by law, are required to pay monthly alimony payments for each child born of their marriage. These payments are based on husbandís salary and takes into account his financial abilities and obligations. The payments continue for girls untill marriage, and for boys till they reach 18. The husbands will also have to provide funds to cover housing, transportation and other household maintenance expenses.

    In custody issues due to divorce, Kuwaiti Law favours the mother for small children. Girls usually live with their mother until they marry. In the case of boys, when they reach puberty, they can choose whether to reside with their mother or father."




    sometimes i feel used, i feel she only got me to marry her just to have all these benefits... i don't know im just confused.

    btw, in my country i have to be Muslim to marry her, so i changed my name to a Muslim name to marry her... im, not even a Muslim.

  7. #6
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    May 2019
    Posts
    348
    Is there anything in the law in Kuwait that states that if they wife has been unfaithful, the husband does not have to do all of those things?

  8. #7
    Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2019
    Posts
    5
    Gender
    Male
    Originally Posted by loyal
    Is there anything in the law in Kuwait that states that if they wife has been unfaithful, the husband does not have to do all of those things?
    yes, i have to prove that she cheated.
    there is no lawful proof.

    im seriously depressed I LOVE my daughters ... im doing everything for them im accepting to be in this mad marriage for them.. i dont want to lose them :'(

  9. #8
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    24,065
    Gender
    Female
    after 2 months ... she's pregnant!
    so, i when i checked under the bed i found 7 plan B pills thrown without a seal ! she used to take them infront of me and then spits them under the bed !!!


    DO you know how harmful it is to keep taking those?
    But she isn't taking them anyhow...
    Do you know about natural birth control and tracking your cycle plus condoms?

    I would tell her "no sex because you are sleeping with another man and i don't want STDs"

    How can she keep your bank account zero??

  10. #9
    Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2019
    Posts
    5
    Gender
    Male
    Originally Posted by abitbroken
    after 2 months ... she's pregnant!
    so, i when i checked under the bed i found 7 plan B pills thrown without a seal ! she used to take them infront of me and then spits them under the bed !!!


    DO you know how harmful it is to keep taking those?
    But she isn't taking them anyhow...
    Do you know about natural birth control and tracking your cycle plus condoms?

    I would tell her "no sex because you are sleeping with another man and i don't want STDs"

    How can she keep your bank account zero??
    we know all about the cycle and when to have a safe sex, but she keep ignoring that. but she dont want to follow.

    how can i tell her that and i have no concrete proof ?!?

    she keep asking for money and i keep sending money. she keep crying how she cant have a penny.
    when i check her bank account i was shocked that she have thousands ... that she been saving !
    so basically she dont use a penny from her salary and she keep asking me for money.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    3,654
    Gender
    Male
    Originally Posted by bodi8
    there was zero proof of her cheating ....
    Emotional cheating, there's plenty of proof!


    If you want to save the marriage first read James Dobson's "Love must be Tough"
    Second, after reading it you'll understand the reasons why she strayed and then decide if the marriage is salvageable.


    P.S. Please stop using the Bold function.


Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •