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Thread: My mom rejects a potential girlfriend, and I'm in a messy situation

  1. #21
    Platinum Member
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    Never ever date someone that shows such bad sense of judgement. She's impulsive, flighty and unstable. No mature individual would chase a guy, get with someone else, move in together, break up and then pursue previous guy weeks after breakup proclaiming stuff about marriage. Yikes. Bad news, do the smart thing and listen to your mum.

  2. #22
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    Potential train wreck. Potential for a lot of gut wrenching heartache and a messy, painful split after a "relationship" full of anxiety and uncertainty.

    Forget the tattoos. Look at the character she's demonstrating. Or lack or character.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member Clio's Avatar
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    Red flag 1: He wanted you, got with another, moved in with him, broke up with him, all in six months. This indicates emotional instability.
    Red flag 2: She is still living with her ex and is trying to date you. Monkey branching is her break up style so you are getting a preview of how she breaks up i.e. how you will be treated in the event of a break up.
    Red flag 3: She is talking marriage way too soon yet she intends to keep living with her ex, which is immature and indicates an impulsive character. Love bombing you while her actions don't match, again, indicates emotional instability imo.

    You need to lay and uphold boundaries when it comes to your morher actively interfering in your personal life, but you also need to acknowledge that this is an unhealthy situation you are stepping into.

    As for the tattoos, if they are too big they can prevent her from getting certain jobs but that's projecting way into the future.

  4. #24
    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    What I do see as a major concern (especially reading all the good points you've all made) is the fact that she lives with someone she used to be intimate with. I will make sure she knows I don't want a relationship at least until she can get out of that situation.
    - good thinking, I agree.

    To be honest, I don't think I'm just a rebound for her. She has been interested in me for four years now. She wanted to date me last December, but I turned her down for personal reasons. That's when she went on to date the other guy who she recently broke up with. I could be wrong, but I'm thinking she likes me more than she ever liked him.
    - don't be so sure. She may like you more than the other guy NOW, but that does not mean she loves you. She may be on the rebound.

    Now, she may get over the rebound period/her ex in a year or so. THEN, she might be ready for you.

    In the mean time, I would not put all my eggs in one basket. I would date other women.

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  6. #25
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    Yeah what happened in the past doesn't matter - you are a rebound now. Whether it's "only" a rebound you can never know, but it's not a great sign that there has been no time between relationships for her to reflect. How can she know what she is really looking for if she bounces between partners so easily?

  7. #26
    Gold Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    You don't need your mother's approval regarding women who have tattoos. It's your mother's problem. However, you may have to separate your girlfriend from your mother if your mother doesn't wish to see her. Your mother's house, her rules.

    It's unhealthy for you to be in a relationship with your girlfriend as she is still leasing her apartment with her ex-boyfriend.

    This is indeed a messy situation. Take a break from dating her. Wait until her ex moves out.

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