Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 26

Thread: My mom rejects a potential girlfriend, and I'm in a messy situation

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    34,180
    Gender
    Male
    Why do your parents need to approve? As far as taste, tattoos whatever, that's up to you, but your parents are voicing there opinions because you are sharing all this with them.

    As far as her having a bf and still living with him, that should be a red flag for you. Even though you went to her place once as friends, why would you expect her bf to host you? Get on some dating apps ans start meeting and messaging women who want to date you and are free and available to date.

    Consider moving out and finding some roommates, a room etc. You admit in this thread that she lives with her bf and that you're in the friendzone: [Register to see the link]
    Originally Posted by ArchieAnon
    (2) The girl unfortunately is stuck in a leased apartment with her ex boyfriend. Her ex boyfriend also hates my guts and won't allow me in the apartment.

  2. #12
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    May 2019
    Posts
    348
    Personally, I love tattoos. And the man I end up with hopefully will too! I have five. They are not totally visible, but they are there. I also have a great job, a master's degree, my own home, and an active social life.

    Tattoos are not indicative of anything. Your mom will get over that in time.

    But, the living with the ex thing is a different story. Mom is right on this one!

  3. #13
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    2,123
    Of course the ex thinks she broke up because of you. Despite what she says, she may have done. No doubt things were probably not great between them for a while, but you coming along so that she could break up with her bf and still chance a soft landing is pretty damn convenient. It may not be the thing, but it smells like the thing.

    Anyway, whether you are the reason they broke up or not, you would still be a rebound. Since it's still so early (it sounds like you haven't even been on an official date?), I would walk the other way, unless you have some points in her favor that we don't know about.

    Find a girl who is covered in tattoos and more than a few weeks out from a serious relationship.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    23,927
    Gender
    Female
    1) Listen to your mother.

    (2) The girl unfortunately is stuck in a leased apartment with her ex boyfriend. This is a legitimate concern, and I've been putting a lot of thought lately into whether or not I want to be in a relationship with someone in this situation. Her ex boyfriend also hates my guts and won't allow me in the apartment. We also live an hour apart. It is a very messy situation, I will admit, and both the girl and I know that.

    2) Listen to your mother.

    You tell the girl that you like her, but it seems she has a lost of unfinished business and you are looking for someone who is free to date.
    Do not go out "as friends". If you run into eachother next year and her situation is different, that's another matter. There are TONS of young women in the 18-22 range who have no such baggage

    as far as the tattoos -- if they are on her face or neck or are objectionable/offensive subject matters, the mom could have reason to prefer not. Or if the young woman cries that she doesn't have any money but has all these recent expensive looking tattoos.

  5.  

  6. #15
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    FL
    Age
    39
    Posts
    2,243
    Gender
    Male
    Dating someone living with someone they were intimate with is simply no go zone man. Whatever the reason.

    I'd simply tell her that's too much baggage for me, and asking for far too much trust and commitment on my part and not enough on your part.

    If and when your living situation is tenable call me. Until then... It's been real.

    I'm sorry man but this would simply be a deal breaker for me.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    8,988
    OP, you are more than likely going to get your heart broken by this girl.

    She just broke up with her ex, will continue living with him for another year, and is sending you marriage quotes. This is nuts. She is rebounding hardcore and before you know it, she'll be distancing herself from you, and then telling you she is going to try to "work on it" with her ex. She is immature, and her choices and judgment in this situation reflect that. Granted, most of us are immature at that age and make a lot of wrong turns before we grow.

    Don't get invested. This girl isn't girlfriend material for you. It doesn't matter how you bring this up to her; she isn't in a place to be dating anyone seriously.

  8. #17
    Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    Posts
    37
    Gender
    Male
    Thanks for all the replies so far, I really appreciate them.

    To be honest, I don't think I'm just a rebound for her. She has been interested in me for four years now. She wanted to date me last December, but I turned her down for personal reasons. That's when she went on to date the other guy who she recently broke up with. I could be wrong, but I'm thinking she likes me more than she ever liked him.

    What I do see as a major concern (especially reading all the good points you've all made) is the fact that she lives with someone she used to be intimate with. I will make sure she knows I don't want a relationship at least until she can get out of that situation.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    34,180
    Gender
    Male
    Yes absolutely. In fact pull back and don't hover around. Why? Because she'll still have the live-in bf and doesn't have to change that. If you stick around as friends (since you can't visit her with the bf living there) all the more she can take advantage and see you as a weak second runner. Keep in mind even if you win this prize, she may do to you what she's doing to him.
    Originally Posted by ArchieAnon
    I will make sure she knows I don't want a relationship at least until she can get out of that situation.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    50,114
    Originally Posted by ArchieAnon
    Thanks for all the replies so far, I really appreciate them.

    To be honest, I don't think I'm just a rebound for her. She has been interested in me for four years now. She wanted to date me last December, but I turned her down for personal reasons. That's when she went on to date the other guy who she recently broke up with. I could be wrong, but I'm thinking she likes me more than she ever liked him.

    What I do see as a major concern (especially reading all the good points you've all made) is the fact that she lives with someone she used to be intimate with. I will make sure she knows I don't want a relationship at least until she can get out of that situation.
    Yes, I would not consider dating her until she is living away from her ex. As far as the tattoos I agree that if you're ok with them or more than ok that should be the only factor here.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    8,988
    Originally Posted by ArchieAnon
    To be honest, I don't think I'm just a rebound for her. She has been interested in me for four years now. She wanted to date me last December, but I turned her down for personal reasons. That's when she went on to date the other guy who she recently broke up with. I could be wrong, but I'm thinking she likes me more than she ever liked him.
    December 2018, I gather?

    So in the span of about 6 months, she wanted you, went out with someone else, moved in with him, broke up with him, and is back to pursing you.

    Her ex? That will be you one day if you keep seeing her.

Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •