Girlfriend been out of a job for over a year and does nothing about it

My girlfriend has not had a job for over a year now and all she seems to do is go round her friend's house and stay every chance she gets. She keeps telling me that she wants money and she wants a job but never does anything about it. She gets very angry at me every time I even mention getting a job to her, then she tells me that she is trying and it's not easy to find a job. I understand that it's not easy, but she hasn't even had 1 interview in the past 7 months. Meanwhile, I've had 3 different jobs in that time. Yes, I have been out of a job a lot but, I have always found one within a week of leaving one. It's getting to the point that I'm honestly thinking of breaking up with her about it. I do love her but I hate it when I feel like I'm being lied too. She is currently on Universal Credit and spends all of it on snacks, drinks and video games for her pc. Please give me your opinion on this.

Thanks for reading.

What is Universal Credit?

Do you live together?

What is Universal Credit?

Benefits, she gets paid every month to help her with food and other basic living items. But she's using it for Games and Junk food. I do understand its not my place to tell her what to spend it on but I can't stand it. I'm here working for everything I have and I feel like she's taking advantage.

Do you live together?

No, I'm only 20 and she's 19. We both live with our parents.

I think laziness is such a turn off. Depends on if you want a leech or someone that contributes too. Do u pay all the time when u go out?

It's probably best to figure out what you want out of your life and then, second, ask yourself whether someone fits in it. Try and figure out what you want out of your life first. Concern yourself less with what she's doing. You seem too overly concerned and you'll run the risk of being misinterpreted (controlling) and it shouldn't be your top priority in the first place. Ask yourself what your own goals are and go from there.

No, I'm only 20 and she's 19. We both live with our parents.

Then why would you stay with someone who clearly does not have the same work ethic or motivation that you do? You're too young to be worried about what she's doing with her life but you're smart enough to know that you don't like her unmotivated, lazy self.

She's showing you who she is so you'd do well to get yourself away from her so you can find someone more compatible to you.

Its one thing to not be able to find a job when one is doing a whole lot of looking and applying and sending out resumes, it's a whole lot different (and not good) when she's not even looking or doing anything that will get her a job and is spending any money she does get on garbage.

Does your girlfriend study? Also, does her friend work? I can guarantee you that my friends wouldn't put up with me if I were bumming around all day. What do her parents think of all of this? Also, if someone were to offer her a job on the spot would she take it?

I'm asking so many questions as I don't want to make any assumptions. Thing is, I actually know a nice chap who has generally refused to work and had heaps of excuses ready for when they were offered a pretty much guaranteed opportunity.

Suggest networking to your girlfriend and not just online; in person. Have her join groups in her community. Socialize more with friends and friends of friends in person.

A lot of people attain jobs through social connections. Have her built, nurture, cultivate and maintain friendships. Someone knows someone. It could be a sibling, spouse, other relative, friend or whomever. One connection leads to another.

My friends and relatives attained their jobs through friends, family, at birthday parties, on the golf course, cocktail parties and the like.

Not everyone finds a job by being holed up in a room with a laptop or desktop. Get out there, rub elbows with the right people and this is how I attained my earlier jobs. Prior to the Internet, a family friend (who gave me away on my wedding day because my late father couldn't do it) and my professor gave me my first 2 jobs at the corporate level. They knew people with muscle in the company. I skipped the interview process entirely. It was sweet. It's not always what you know, it's who you know that gets you there! And, I received on-the-job training as well. I beat out the fierce competition by going through the back door, not the front door. I didn't go through HR either. I skipped all of that.

How long have you been dating? You're not her parent, you don't live together and you don't support her. What you see is what you get. If you think she's lazy, unmotivated and spends foolishly take note, realize you're incompatible and break up. You can't nag and pester her. It's not your money to spend.

It's none of your business. Stop trying to fix, change and control her. If she is on social services, lives off parents and buys junk with this benefit that's her business. Do not give her money or treat her. It's that simple. It's her problem, not yours.

I have been out of a job a lot but, I have always found one within a week of leaving one. She is currently on Universal Credit and spends all of it on snacks, drinks and video games for her pc.

How is she able to collect benefits while living at home with her parents?

It sounds like she is on welfare. Is she able to work? Does she have a disability that prevents her from working? If not, I'd say she is just plain lazy and if her parents let her get away with freeloading and sponging off the government, you arent going to change any of that. If you dont like what she's doing or not doing, it's time to find a new girlfriend who has motivation.

I think the OP is too young to be bothering himself over (or spending too much of his energy) deliberating on the inactions of anyone else. He should be focused on himself and working towards his own goals - the focus is all off. Even getting upset is a waste of time and energy (once you know it doesn't feel good, start opening yourself up to a better reality away from negative influences). Reorient yourself and be a bit more concerned about your own future. This means living differently from how you have been, opening yourself up to that and inviting new and more positive things and people into your life.

No, I'm only 20 and she's 19. We both live with our parents.

This is good news. I’d leave her to do nothing about it on her own, and let her parents decide how long they want to enable that.

When nothing changes, nothing changes. I’d change that for myself and let GF decide whether she’ll want to reach out after she's employed or not. If not, you’ll thank yourself for curbing a wasted investment.

Well, she's young, and she lives with her parents, so who cares? I don't see an issue.

^she doesn't study and she's 20. Time to get her lazy arse in gear ;___;. At least have a job o_O.

Well, this sounds typical of someone around that age. It’s ok- that’s her life path and if that’s how she wants to live then let her. If your priories do not align with hers, rethink your stance in the relationship. If think is something you want to keep around- I suggest communicating with her. Why does this matter to you anyways? Ask yourself that. And then talk with her about it.