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Ex Boyfriend Messaged me; what now?! (Screenshot)


sullensloth

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Last night- my ex boyfriend messaged me. We’ve been in an off and on again relationship for a while.. so I know I should not just jump back in and that I should take what he says with a grain of salt.. but what do you make of this ? [ATTACH]11588[/ATTACH]

 

what should I do? All of me wants to message back.. but none of me wants to get hurt again..

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"Last night" looks a bit more like the wee wee hours of the early morning, when people are about as far from their true selves as possible. The drunk hours, the high hours, the lonely hours.

 

Something tells me you've gotten these texts before—and "off" has become "on," at least until you are "hurt again." If you want another ride on the rollercoaster, shoot him a text back. If you're interested in a new, wilder ride that doesn't induce the same familiar whiplash—well, then I'd let this go.

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Hi Sullen,

 

I'd pay attention to his actions...Not his words. I'm sure he means it. I'm sure he is lonely. Doesn't mean he's capable of a committed, stable relationship. The moment he feels you slipping away and moving on with your life?...the moment he tugs on the heart strings and uses words to fill the void his actions aren't able to fulfill.

 

Honestly, I think you know the answer here...and it's alright to feel sadness, heartbreak and longing - but you were absolutely right in your response, as devastating as it was to say those words. It is better to be alone than continuously being yanked back and forth and watching your heart being repeatedly broken with no chance to heal.

 

"No Contact" is one of the hardest, hardest thing you will have to do. It will break your heart, but it will also give you are chance to eventually heal it. At the moment it is being temporarily filled and re-broken, filled and re-broken. I been there. I've done it. And in time I've learnt...(in the words of Saluk) that it was time to "step away from the hot stove."

 

 

Hugs

 

Decixx

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This relationship was described in your previous threads and posts not long ago. It was painful for you. I think you need a lot of time to heal. Take that time out and go over your patterns for dating. I think you are attracting people that are not good for you.

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Ok... message back "get lost", then block and delete him from all your social media and messaging apps. That's the only way you can pull your self esteem together and stop cycling in this toxic situation.

All of me wants to message back.. but none of me wants to get hurt again..
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I know.. this is very hard :(

But.. YOU are going to keep on hurting as long as YOU let this continue.

 

HE is your EX... Time to work on accepting & healing.

Everyone is correct... you have to walk.. and keep walking.. No matter how hard.

I have even gone to the point of needing some prof help- as well as coming on here- to get me through.

 

No contact is the way... hurts, I know. But, this on/off is only going to keep hurting YOU, when you already

know it has not worked out - has it?

 

Back away and stay away now. Expect nothing more.

Time to TC of YOU.

Get out with friend & family... keep busy and go about your own life.

 

Keep working on you to get over this. Prof help if need be.

Some day it will get easier- as long as you keep walking - away from all of this crap.

 

The past has nothing new to say... One day at a time

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this made me giggle, cause it’s so simple and you’re right. i don’t want to hear from miguel

 

Good then don’t.

 

You describe him as toxic and abusive, words you should not throw around in jest or just because you’re in the off part of your roller coaster, drama for dramas sake, you cheated as well, is that why you described him as abusive or is he actually abusing you? Either way, this is just all bad

 

As someone else said, walk away from the hot stove

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Good then don’t.

 

You describe him as toxic and abusive, words you should not throw around in jest or just because you’re in the off part of your roller coaster, drama for dramas sake, you cheated as well, is that why you described him as abusive or is he actually abusing you? Either way, this is just all bad

 

As someone else said, walk away from the hot stove

 

If you had read my past posts and had the intellect to ‘put 2&2 together’ you would understand that I had not, and will not ever, ‘throw around [such terms] in jest’.

 

Fair of you to have your opinion on the situation, as I asked for it after all. But do no insinuate that I would use any of this as some sort of cry of attention. ‘Is he actually abusing you?’ Newsflash; toxic and abusive people do not have to act that way all of the time for them to still be that way.

 

I feel ridiculous.. because in a sense it almost feels as if I am defending him? No- I am not. Yes he was abusive and toxic towards me, and yes I still am clinging onto the remnants of ‘what could have been’. So I will certainly move on and get help but don’t you ever dare ask anyone that question again.

 

Accountability is everything. I get that. But what you just tried to do- I also sort of understand but you just missed it by thaaaat much. Thanks for the sentiment though.

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If you had read my past posts and had the intellect to ‘put 2&2 together’ you would understand that I had not, and will not ever, ‘throw around [such terms] in jest’.

 

Fair of you to have your opinion on the situation, as I asked for it after all. But do no insinuate that I would use any of this as some sort of cry of attention. ‘Is he actually abusing you?’ Newsflash; toxic and abusive people do not have to act that way all of the time for them to still be that way.

 

I feel ridiculous.. because in a sense it almost feels as if I am defending him? No- I am not. Yes he was abusive and toxic towards me, and yes I still am clinging onto the remnants of ‘what could have been’. So I will certainly move on and get help but don’t you ever dare ask anyone that question again.

 

Accountability is everything. I get that. But what you just tried to do- I also sort of understand but you just missed it by thaaaat much. Thanks for the sentiment though.

 

But, YOU continue to allow him in your life! This is on you!

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I've been there/done that...clinging to the remnants of 'what could have been'. It sucks and it's painful and things move in slow motion. Take one day at a time and don't be afraid to move forwards into the unknown. Everyone means well and are encouraging you to have courage and let go. More adventures await.

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If you had read my past posts and had the intellect to ‘put 2&2 together’ you would understand that I had not, and will not ever, ‘throw around [such terms] in jest’.

 

Fair of you to have your opinion on the situation, as I asked for it after all. But do no insinuate that I would use any of this as some sort of cry of attention. ‘Is he actually abusing you?’ Newsflash; toxic and abusive people do not have to act that way all of the time for them to still be that way.

 

I feel ridiculous.. because in a sense it almost feels as if I am defending him? No- I am not. Yes he was abusive and toxic towards me, and yes I still am clinging onto the remnants of ‘what could have been’. So I will certainly move on and get help but don’t you ever dare ask anyone that question again.

 

Accountability is everything. I get that. But what you just tried to do- I also sort of understand but you just missed it by thaaaat much. Thanks for the sentiment though.

 

NEWSFLASH!!

 

These were your words:

 

Last night- my ex boyfriend messaged me. We’ve been in an off and on again relationship for a while.. so I know I should not just jump back in and that I should take what he says with a grain of salt.. but what do you make of this ? Click image for larger version.

 

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ID: 11588

 

what should I do? All of me wants to message back.. but none of me wants to get hurt again..

 

Your original post mentioned none of those PERTINENT details. You state your relationship is on again off again as the reason you know you shouldn't contact him, you mentioned none of the verbal abuse.

 

I can only assume its because you either didnt want it known because Im sure you know 'my exboyfriend is verbally abusing me but hes sweet talking me at this moment, what should I do?' (which is apparently the truth) isnt very pretty, nor was 'I cheated on my boyfriend but its ok because he verbally abuses me.' Also super bad, so please step down off the cross.

 

You have become an active participant in this toxic drama and only you have the power to walk away.

 

So all that venom and indignation you directed towards me for attempting to point that out, point it at the person who deserves it, and you get help for yourself, you sound young, you are learning bad and unhealthy relationship habits.

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NEWSFLASH!!

 

These were your words:

 

 

 

Your original post mentioned none of those PERTINENT details. You state your relationship is on again off again as the reason you know you shouldn't contact him, you mentioned none of the verbal abuse.

 

I can only assume its because you either didnt want it known because Im sure you know 'my exboyfriend is verbally abusing me but hes sweet talking me at this moment, what should I do?' (which is apparently the truth) isnt very pretty, nor was 'I cheated on my boyfriend but its ok because he verbally abuses me.' Also super bad, so please step down off the cross.

 

You have become an active participant in this toxic drama and only you have the power to walk away.

 

So all that venom and indignation you directed towards me for attempting to point that out, point it at the person who deserves it, and you get help for yourself, you sound young, you are learning bad and unhealthy relationship habits.

 

My post was asking for opinions and what to do. You gave me yours, so thank you.

 

What i refuse to stand for under any circumstance is you asking me or anyone else ‘wAs He rEaLLy AbUsInG yOu?’, because that’s just rude and insensitive. And yes- I did not mention those -pertinent- details, as the post was more of a ‘please morally support me’ post. But thanks for having to be so right ! I am young, and I will get help, thanks for the obvious message through the passive aggressive undertones. We can both spew venom, sorry mine was direct.

 

Now leave me & this post alone. I understand I am not perfect or in the right in this situation but it doesn’t give you the right to question the validity of what I had said. (& that is not me saying I am right or all knowing or that you aren’t capable of intelligence- just means I won’t tolerate you undermining what I went through !)

 

Do not try and piece together the whole story from my mere few posts. I get it, I posted a few ugly truths about my past relationship that you might have used to further form an opinion but guess what? Wasn’t the full story. So tell me to get over it and go about your day. This site is called ‘enotalone’, not ‘e-letsplayselfrighteous’.

 

thanks for the sentiment

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NEWSFLASH!!

 

These were your words:

 

 

 

Your original post mentioned none of those PERTINENT details. You state your relationship is on again off again as the reason you know you shouldn't contact him, you mentioned none of the verbal abuse.

 

I can only assume its because you either didnt want it known because Im sure you know 'my exboyfriend is verbally abusing me but hes sweet talking me at this moment, what should I do?' (which is apparently the truth) isnt very pretty, nor was 'I cheated on my boyfriend but its ok because he verbally abuses me.' Also super bad, so please step down off the cross.

 

You have become an active participant in this toxic drama and only you have the power to walk away.

 

So all that venom and indignation you directed towards me for attempting to point that out, point it at the person who deserves it, and you get help for yourself, you sound young, you are learning bad and unhealthy relationship habits.

 

& since you are SO focused on what I did and what I had mentioned in previous posts;

 

did I cheat on him for cussing me out? (Since this is how you’re making it sound lol)

 

does me talking to another guy after he broke up with me cheating ? NO lol, but certainly at that time it felt like I had betrayed him. if you’re going to gather details from previous posts, actually read them. read those pertinent details

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NEWSFLASH!!

 

These were your words:

 

 

 

Your original post mentioned none of those PERTINENT details. You state your relationship is on again off again as the reason you know you shouldn't contact him, you mentioned none of the verbal abuse.

 

I can only assume its because you either didnt want it known because Im sure you know 'my exboyfriend is verbally abusing me but hes sweet talking me at this moment, what should I do?' (which is apparently the truth) isnt very pretty, nor was 'I cheated on my boyfriend but its ok because he verbally abuses me.' Also super bad, so please step down off the cross.

 

You have become an active participant in this toxic drama and only you have the power to walk away.

 

So all that venom and indignation you directed towards me for attempting to point that out, point it at the person who deserves it, and you get help for yourself, you sound young, you are learning bad and unhealthy relationship habits.

 

I do not want to end this on the vibe that I am defending my ex boyfriend, or even my behavior. Like yeah I get it, it’s all drama and toxic and it’s better off gone. But all I needed was emotional support to keep someone away, not your self righteous bull. So thank you for your two cents, now go and be correct somewhere else

 

‘wAs He rEaLLy AbUsInG yOu’

, give me a break.

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Sullen,

 

I think Figure hit a nerve or you would not be so defensive. Instead, of getting upset with her, you should be focusing it on yourself. Your anger is misdirected. Once you own some of this, you will start the healing process. Victimizing ourselves is never good.

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