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Thread: To reach out or not to reach out pt 2.

  1. #1
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    To reach out or not to reach out pt 2.

    I went on a date last Friday and on the surface the date went ok. After the date was over I had a feeling that she wasn't that into me. The vibe just felt a little off, plus she would be on her phone on and off, which I didn't like. She texted me later on that night making sure that I got home ok and I responded back by saying that I made it home safely and I thanked her. Her and I became snap chat friends and I have noticed that she has been viewing the majority of my post since the date. It got me thinking that maybe she was into me more then I thought, I mean she was playing with her hair and giving me strong eye contact while we were out.. that seems like a good sign. Should I reach out to her and go for a second date, or just chalk this one up? I haven't heard from her since last Friday.

  2. #2
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    You haven't heard from her, but have you contacted her?

    Do you like her? Do you want to go out again?

  3. #3
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    I would go with your gut. That, and she looks at her phone during a date. Showstopper for me, your mileage may vary.

  4. #4
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    She was cute. I would see her again. No, I haven't reached out to her since the date. like I said before. She texted me making sure I got home ok. I replied to that by saying I did, and I thanked her. That was it

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    After my first date with my girlfriend I wasn't sure how she felt. But then she viewed an Instagram story I posted about my friend's puppy, which led me to think she was really into me. So I asked her out again a week later. It's been 7 months now. Whenever I'm unsure about things, which typically occurs when I haven't posted something on Instagram, I post something to see if she views it. Typically a puppy. I know things are really serious now because when I post puppies she not only views them, but sometimes uses the function where you can make the little heart eyes emoji dance across the screen.

    Wait a second—none of that is actually true.

    What do you want, friend? Do you want to see her again, or not? If the answer is yes, you ask her out instead of slyly waiting for her to ask you out or give you some sure sign that she wants to see you again. She'll say yes or no, then you know. Trying to use Snapchat as a thermometer for a vibe is both ridiculous and not a cute look for a grown man. Makes you appear both adolescent and petrified of rejection. Skip the hedging and take some initiative.

    It's really not complicated.

  7. #6
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    OK. YOU need to take initiative. YOU need to contact her!

    As a woman, a guy who doesn't make an effort to contact me is not worth my time. That shows a lack of interest. Nobody wants to go out with a lazy dater.

  8. #7
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    What are you waiting for? Yes, you should contact her. It sounds like you are interested in her, so go for it!

  9. #8
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    Yes - if you want to see her again, ask her out. If you don’t want to see her again, don’t ask her out.

    Maybe she will say yes. Maybe she will say no. But either way, it doesn’t sound like you have your hopes up too high (which is good), so a “no” shouldn’t hurt too bad anyways.

  10. #9
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    I am so curious what your rationale is for not contacting her?

    Have you been conditioned to expect that women will pursue you?

    Is that what you prefer? For the woman to pursue you?

    Not judging if that’s your thing, but please know most women prefer the man to take the initiative especially in these very VERY early stages.

    And if he does not, they will either view him as too passive, or simply not interested.

  11. #10
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    My rationale is that I felt she wasn’t into it,so I figured I’d just leave it alone.......... in my dating experience, if the girl is into me they would reach out to me a day or two later. If they weren’t into me they wouldn’t reach out..

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