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Thread: To reach out or not to reach out pt 2.

  1. #61
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    Originally Posted by Sixersfan234
    I'm single because I want to be. Thank you very much... my attitude is fine...
    Sure thing, man.

    That must be why you made this thread.

    Take the advice or leave it, but at least you won't be left wondering why you keep striking out with women.

  2. #62
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    Originally Posted by MissCanuck
    Sure thing, man.

    That must be why you made this thread.
    making this thread has nothing to do with wanting to be in a relationship..that's why I posted in the DATING thread..

  3. #63
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    Originally Posted by Sixersfan234
    I liked the first girl.. she was cool..it was more than just sex... after a couple days went by i decided to reach out to her
    Wait!! You had sex, then waited a whole week to reach out to her??? Eek! Kiss of death. Any woman would feel so used if you wait a whole week after doing the horizontal mambo to contact her again.

  4. #64
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    Originally Posted by tattoobunnie
    Wait!! You had sex, then waited a whole week to reach out to her??? Eek! Kiss of death. Any woman would feel so used if you wait a whole week after doing the horizontal mambo to contact her again.
    But he says if a woman is into him she shouldn't mind waiting a week to hear from him. However a woman waiting until the next day to respond to a message from him is interpreted as "low interest".

  5.  

  6. #65
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    Originally Posted by tattoobunnie
    Wait!! You had sex, then waited a whole week to reach out to her??? Eek! Kiss of death. Any woman would feel so used if you wait a whole week after doing the horizontal mambo to contact her again.
    when did i say i had sex then waited a week?..... I said the relationship was more than just sex...

  7. #66
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    for the ladies.... if you went out with a guy you liked....would u rather never hear from him again after the date, or hear from him in a week?....... I know that i would rather hear from a girl after a date, then not hear from her at all... thats just me...

  8. #67
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    Originally Posted by Sixersfan234
    for the ladies.... if you went out with a guy you liked....would u rather never hear from him again after the date, or hear from him in a week?....... I know that i would rather hear from a girl after a date, then not hear from her at all... thats just me...
    Personal preference is hearing from someone every few days or so, unless the next date is already planned (then cool, see you then). When a guy waits a week or more to reach out (unless itís a vacation he talked about on the date or a busy time at work, etc), Iím guessing he had other, more promising dates in between. Those did not work out for whatever reason so heís circling back.

  9. #68
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    Originally Posted by Sixersfan234
    for the ladies.... if you went out with a guy you liked....would u rather never hear from him again after the date, or hear from him in a week?....... I know that i would rather hear from a girl after a date, then not hear from her at all... thats just me...
    Neither. I'm going to go with the majority and state that if you are interested in a second date and any future with this woman, you don't wait a week before reaching out. Reach out when you get home or the next day. You can lob some texts. Ask her out again sooner over later.

    Waiting a week (or five days) before reaching out is a sure sign of non-interest, and your recent posts suggest you're not really interested in pursuing a serious relationship, so something more casual is what you have in mind. If a woman is okay with some casual encounters, and you decide to reach out every once in awhile, if there's nothing else going on for her, sure, why not? I have been involved in this sort of relationship. After reaching out first more than once, it was very clear he did not want the same relationship...so I stopped. Now if he contacts me, and I'm not involved, sure, let's get together if I'm up for it. I won't chase anymore. I have no issues reaching out first, but when this is not reciprocated, the answer is clear...not interested...move on.

    The only thing I can fall back on is that if he was genuinely interested in me, he would be making an effort. Your effort is aloof and lazy and you don't want to put any work or effort into growing the relationship, but rather wait on her to do it. What's worse is you feel it is fully okay to blow her off for a week, but then get all butt-hurt she doesn't respond to your text for several hours. What's good for the goose is good for the gander, dear.

    How about this? Treat people the way you want to be treated? If you contact a woman of interest more often, instead of retreating back into this passive role, perhaps you would see this woman respond in kind. Women want providers and protectors, not soggy blankets. Step up to the plate.

    If I had a great date and got nothing but crickets after a week, I will have written him if he gets around to contacting me. I mean, this woman is responding to your IGs and expressing an interested, but you're too busy expecting her to adhere to your arbitrary rules while doing absolutely nothing and not making much of an effort to show your interest in her. Ask her out again, and don't blow her off for a week before doing so.

  10. #69
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    Originally Posted by purplepaisley
    Neither. I'm going to go with the majority and state that if you are interested in a second date and any future with this woman, you don't wait a week before reaching out. Reach out when you get home or the next day. You can lob some texts. Ask her out again sooner over later.

    Waiting a week (or five days) before reaching out is a sure sign of non-interest, and your recent posts suggest you're not really interested in pursuing a serious relationship, so something more casual is what you have in mind. If a woman is okay with some casual encounters, and you decide to reach out every once in awhile, if there's nothing else going on for her, sure, why not? I have been involved in this sort of relationship. After reaching out first more than once, it was very clear he did not want the same relationship...so I stopped. Now if he contacts me, and I'm not involved, sure, let's get together if I'm up for it. I won't chase anymore. I have no issues reaching out first, but when this is not reciprocated, the answer is clear...not interested...move on.

    The only thing I can fall back on is that if he was genuinely interested in me, he would be making an effort. Your effort is aloof and lazy and you don't want to put any work or effort into growing the relationship, but rather wait on her to do it. What's worse is you feel it is fully okay to blow her off for a week, but then get all butt-hurt she doesn't respond to your text for several hours. What's good for the goose is good for the gander, dear.

    How about this? Treat people the way you want to be treated? If you contact a woman of interest more often, instead of retreating back into this passive role, perhaps you would see this woman respond in kind. Women want providers and protectors, not soggy blankets. Step up to the plate.

    If I had a great date and got nothing but crickets after a week, I will have written him if he gets around to contacting me. I mean, this woman is responding to your IGs and expressing an interested, but you're too busy expecting her to adhere to your arbitrary rules while doing absolutely nothing and not making much of an effort to show your interest in her. Ask her out again, and don't blow her off for a week before doing so.
    Your not answering the question.... You have TWO choices.... if your into a guy after the first date.. would you rather him not reach out to you AT ALL... or have him reach out to you 5 days later... my effort is lazy because i reached out to her a week later? lol thats to funny

  11. #70
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    Originally Posted by Sixersfan234
    Your not answering the question.... You have TWO choices.... if your into a guy after the first date.. would you rather him not reach out to you AT ALL... or have him reach out to you 5 days later... my effort is lazy because i reached out to her a week later? lol thats to funny
    Hey sixers, I think what's in bold is quite relevant at least for me.

    Assuming we really clicked on that first date, and I felt a mutual attraction, while I may be wondering why I had not heard from him sooner, I would be thrilled to hear from him after five days, I certainly would not reject him for it.

    Often times we need to let things marinate a bit after a first date before making our next move and that goes for both men and women. And there is nothing wrong with that Imo.

    I also understand nuance and am extremely flexible and resilient, which is so important in the precarious early stages of dating.

    In any event, I simply cannot imagine that any women especially if she is really into a man would actually prefer to be ghosted versus having him wait a few days for whatever reason, that makes zero sense to me.

    I also think it's presumptuous to just assume he's not interested if he waits a few days.

    She just met him for goodness sakes, she has no idea what he has going on in his life prior to meeting her.
    Last edited by katrina1980; 07-22-2019 at 12:16 PM.

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