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Thread: What a bugger.

  1. #31
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    Originally Posted by Tinydance
    EXTREMELY tasteless and crude! Honestly I think this is the behaviour of someone very rude, who also sees no future with you. This is a pretty off putting thing to send so I think anyone would only send that to someone they don't really respect or even like that much. I think yes he is only looking for casual with you but he didn't want to just say that, he wanted to really rub it in your face. There is a big difference in saying: "By the way, I'm also seeing other people, just wanted to let you know". As opposed to sending you a photo when he's AT the restaurant on another date with someone else and then he messages you later he had a good time. Honestly even if I was even just looking for casual I would end it. There is no need to be so tactless.
    I sent him a message that said "I'm glad you had a good time."
    His response: "meh"

    I think maybe he rethought the whole idea of sending me that message. Anyhow, my last message to him was " who knows...you might end up with an actual relationship."

    Crickets...

  2. #32
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    Originally Posted by loyal
    I sent him a message that said "I'm glad you had a good time."
    His response: "meh"

    I think maybe he rethought the whole idea of sending me that message. Anyhow, my last message to him was " who knows...you might end up with an actual relationship."

    Crickets...
    If it was me I'd never message him ever again. I think all his behaviour just screams "he's just not that into you". I think you're wasting your time on this guy if you want a relationship.

  3. #33
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    Originally Posted by loyal
    I sent him a message that said "I'm glad you had a good time."
    His response: "meh"

    I think maybe he rethought the whole idea of sending me that message. Anyhow, my last message to him was " who knows...you might end up with an actual relationship."

    Crickets...
    Not ruling out he's just not that into you, but...

    I think it's also possible guy is extremely insecure and unsure about you and your feelings and was playing the standard "jealousy test" on you.

    I mean you admit things between you are undefined, dates/hang outs casual -- instead of being direct and asking you how you feel/what you want like a strong, secure man would do, he invokes the jealousy test hoping to get a rise/reaction from you that would indicate your feelings, get you guys talking about your relationship, perhaps even agree to exclusivity.

    Reason I say this is because clearly you did not give him the reaction he wanted and needed (I.e jealous), in fact the opposite, you were cool and acted like it did not bother you at all!

    Which is how I would have reacted to, even if I were bothered (I hate those jealousy tests/games), but now as a result, he's more insecure, butt hurt and ignoring. Pouting.

    As you said, crickets.

    Typical behaviour from a very insecure man.

    Just another possibility to consider, that's all. Remember we are only hearing your side. I'd be interested in hearing his.

    Edit: Insecure women often play that jealousy game too. I did when younger! And I've had it played on me too. I've had men admit it to me when confused or unsure of my feelings.
    Last edited by katrina1980; 07-19-2019 at 10:42 AM.

  4. #34
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    I would have responded with "Are you for real?" then block/delete.

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  6. #35
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    I absolutely see what you are saying!

    I'd be interested in hearing his side too! But, if he is an insecure man, I don't know that I want to pursue anything... I'm too old for that!

  7. #36
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    Originally Posted by loyal
    I absolutely see what you are saying!

    I'd be interested in hearing his side too! But, if he is an insecure man, I don't know that I want to pursue anything... I'm too old for that!
    Me too!

    Remember the guy I talked about in previous post? The one who sent me a message meant for another woman?

    I did dump him after he admitted it was a test, but then again I wasn't all that into him anyway, which is probably why he was shyt testing me!

    But it sounds like you do like this guy, so maybe time for an honest heart-to-heart?

    Discourage the games and push for honesty!

    What do you want ? Do you want to kick it up a notch? Become exclusive?
    Last edited by katrina1980; 07-19-2019 at 11:21 AM.

  8. #37
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    Originally Posted by katrina1980
    Me too!

    Remember the guy I talked about in previous post? The one who sent me a message meant for another woman?

    I did dump him after he admitted it was a test, but then again I wasn't all that into him anyway, which is probably why he was shyt testing me!

    But it sounds like you do like this guy, so maybe time for an honest heart-to-heart?

    Discourage the games and push for honesty!

    What do you want ? Do you want to kick it up a notch? Become exclusive?
    I would have liked to kick things up a notch...talk about exclusivity. I was, in fact, pretty crazy about him. But we were in the beginning phases. I just wonder if his lack of effort in trying to remedy his bad judgement indicates that he doesn't want that?

  9. #38
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    My advice? Stop guessing and just talk to him.

  10. #39
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    @katrina1980--

    What would you say to him?

  11. #40
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    Originally Posted by Tinydance
    If it was me I'd never message him ever again. I think all his behaviour just screams "he's just not that into you". I think you're wasting your time on this guy if you want a relationship.
    I agree with this and love what you, Loyal, wrote about not having time for insecure men. I dated a man a bit like this when I first got back in touch with my future husband. He showed his insecurities differently than your guy but I did speak to him about it the first time it happened and he said he was getting counseling and to please hang in there. It was better for two weeks. Then same old behavior. By then I realized I was interested in my future husband so combined with that realization plus being done with the shenanigans I ended things. He was 40 at the time. Good looking, successful, a kind person. And I knew despite my initial attraction his insecurities would douse that flame. He's in his 50s now and single. Not sure if he likes being single -maybe he does - but I know back then he wanted marriage and family.

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