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Thread: What a bugger.

  1. #21
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Well, I'd take that message to mean: "Know how we're still in the casual phase? It's the only phase I'm capable of, and even in this phase I don't know how to be a gentleman. You still down?"

  2. #22
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    Originally Posted by bluecastle
    Well, I'd take that message to mean: "Know how we're still in the casual phase? It's the only phase I'm capable of, and even in this phase I don't know how to be a gentleman. You still down?"
    Wow. I think you nailed it.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Yup, just echoing blue, I'd take it to mean "hey I keep a rotating stable of casual hook ups, will you be a part of my stable?" Personally for me, that would be a big fat no thanks.

    This is coming from someone who believes in dating and not jumping into instant exclusivity from day one. There is a difference between just started dating, getting to know each other and you might still be exploring other options and this douchey move he just pulled on you. That's a shyte test of what you will tolerate and put up with, aka how low is your self esteem.

  4. #24
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    I think you're just on the back burner if he can't find better but that he's also dating in the background and the message and pic were accidentally sent to you.

    That's my first impression.

    But you shouldn't be too shocked if he's not made any commitment to you and seems so so and not really into you.

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  6. #25
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    Ick. Tasteless and tacky. Ridiculous kiss and tell. I wouldn’t say another word to him or give him the satisfaction of telling him off. Simply respond with “no thanks” if he ever asks you out again. Totally understandable if you just block him. Of course dating around is fine and sharing it this way with one of the people you’re dating is jerky. You deserve better !

  7. #26
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    Yikes! What a creep!

    I think you should just tell him to enjoy his date and block and move on. Better yet don’t say anything and block and move on.

  8. #27
    Platinum Member shellyf62's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by limichelle
    Yikes! What a creep!

    I think you should just tell him to enjoy his date and block and move on. Better yet don’t say anything and block and move on.
    Exactly my thoughts, BLOCK, DELETE, NEXT! What a loser

  9. #28
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    EXTREMELY tasteless and crude! Honestly I think this is the behaviour of someone very rude, who also sees no future with you. This is a pretty off putting thing to send so I think anyone would only send that to someone they don't really respect or even like that much. I think yes he is only looking for casual with you but he didn't want to just say that, he wanted to really rub it in your face. There is a big difference in saying: "By the way, I'm also seeing other people, just wanted to let you know". As opposed to sending you a photo when he's AT the restaurant on another date with someone else and then he messages you later he had a good time. Honestly even if I was even just looking for casual I would end it. There is no need to be so tactless.

  10. #29
    Member Reg's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by bluecastle
    Well, I'd take that message to mean: "Know how we're still in the casual phase? It's the only phase I'm capable of, and even in this phase I don't know how to be a gentleman. You still down?"
    This ^^^^^

  11. #30
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by loyal
    We've not talked about dating other people. I think we both just kind of know that things are still in a casual phase.
    Whenever I hear the word ‘casual’ in the context of confusion, that explains itself. If you’re both adults, how does that preclude you from having an adult conversation right off the bat about your goals and desires for dating? This hanging out stuff is for kids in high school. Tiptoeing around some assumed definitions then wondering where you stand makes no sense beyond adolescence.

    Decide for yourself whether you are relationship material, or not. If not, then here you are in the limbo known as casual, but if you are relationship material, then that’s the first thing to to tell someone before messing with him. Learn whether her views himself the same way, and if not, tell him that you’ve enjoyed meeting him, and if he ever wants to date with a goal of learning whether the two of you might make a good relationship match, he can let you know.

    I’d tell current guy that you’ve been thinking about what you want for yourself, and hanging out is no longer that for you. You like him and hope that he finds what he’s looking for, but you’re moving on to find someone who is interested in a committed relationship. If he ever wants to try for the same thing, he can let you know. If you’re still available then, maybe you can meet to catch up.

    Boom Done. Clarity is liberating and needn’t slam doors shut.

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