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Thread: Does she like me? [18F, 18M]

  1. #1

    Does she like me? [18F, 18M]

    At the very beginning - I'm sorry for my mistakes, but I don't speak English on a daily basis, let alone writing anything.

    So I met this girl in January. At first it wasn't anything special, but we grew very close (as friends at this moment) 2 or 3 months later and over time I developed feelings towards her. We see each other several times a week and text everyday about various things both silly (like joking or simply asking "what are you doing") and serious (like problems with other friends or family, about relationships). Sometimes she will call me or vice versa just to talk. When we are meeting in person she's acting very "physical", like she will put her arm against mine, she will lean her head on my shoulder while watching movies, put her legs on mine or just hit me playfully from time to time. She is very open to me, we have been even sleeping in one bed (just sleeping), so basicaly she is acting like she's into me (at least that's what i think) and she doesn't hide it - a lot of our friends thought or still think we are togerther, which became laughing matter for us.
    But when we had conversations about relationshpis, she clearly statements that she doesn't want to be in a relationship (she recently broke up with her previous boyfriend) and she call me a "very good friend" etc. several times, so perhaps i'm already in the friendzone. One time during our chat (in person) I said something like "it's nice to do something with someone you love" and she responded that she doesn't have such a person. And there is this one situation that confused me the most: once she told me that some other guy asked her on a date, but she didn't want to go, because she just wants to be friends with him, and that a lot of guys did that when she was just acting a little friendly towards them and that it just complicates her life. So yeah, she's giving me mixed signals and I don't really know what to do about it. I'm a little bit scared of just asking her about it, because, even though I want something more, I really enjoy our friendship and dont want it to end in case of rejection. Personally, I should be able to get over it I think, but I'm not sure if she would. Of course it's not everything that happened between us, but I'm sure you know what I'm talking about, but if anything is unclear be sure to ask. Thanks in advance!

  2. #2
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    She is not giving you mixed signals at all.
    She is very clear that she only views you as a friend , nothing more , nothing less.

    She does NOT want a relationship means she is NOT seeking one. But if she meets a guy she likes romantically the likelihood is that she WILL then WANT a relationship. And you will be demoted from friend to acquaintance.
    If you only viewed her as a friend that would be ok. But you donít and so it will hurt you when that time comes.

    What you need to do is stop fulfilling her datelike activities until she finds someone she wants to date.

    Either fade away or tell her you want more than friendship and so best to not hang out if she doesnít feel the same way.

  3. #3
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    Listen to what she is saying, she clearly doesn't want to be in a relationship, she enjoys your company and thatís it. Youíve been friend-zoned, sorry, let this go and try to meet other women.

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    It seems like you are in the 'friend zone' but she does in fact like you, which is the main thing here. You could try a few tests and I don't mean play games with each other, for instance I would talk to other girls, go on dates and let her know what you are doing. See if her reactions are a little more than interested and if she's getting jealous, you can always win her over but staying in the friend zone is your choice, don't be at her beck and call at all times. Some girls will like to have guys around them that 'fancy' them and find them attractive as they enjoy the attention and stringing them along or just be honest with her but I would find other female interests first as you will be more attractive if you have girls chasing you as well, like she's already stated too you she has guys to chose from, make her think of you as an option - build the attraction don't lay all our feelings out at once if she's made it clear she doesn't have those feelings for you.

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  6. #5
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    Originally Posted by jjt
    It seems like you are in the 'friend zone' but she does in fact like you, which is the main thing here. You could try a few tests and I don't mean play games with each other, for instance I would talk to other girls, go on dates and let her know what you are doing. See if her reactions are a little more than interested and if she's getting jealous, you can always win her over but staying in the friend zone is your choice, don't be at her beck and call at all times. Some girls will like to have guys around them that 'fancy' them and find them attractive as they enjoy the attention and stringing them along or just be honest with her but I would find other female interests first as you will be more attractive if you have girls chasing you as well, like she's already stated too you she has guys to chose from, make her think of you as an option - build the attraction don't lay all our feelings out at once if she's made it clear she doesn't have those feelings for you.
    Donít play games?
    But go on dates , check her reactions, see if she is getting jealous? Etc
    Thatís playing games. And unfair to the girls he dates just to check out anotherís response?
    Make her think of him as an option?
    Ouch!
    She has had 5 months to consider him an ďoptionĒ and hasnít opted him.

    Op , just tell her how you feel. Straight up!
    If she is interested you will know , if she isnít you will know.
    Either way , you can move forward.

  7. #6
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    It's not a game when she has clearly expressed she's not romantically interested in him, so he can only do what he's supposed to do that is date other people and treat her as a friend... with out hurting himself by letting him self get strung along.
    He seem's to have been shut down a few times, I would be upfront and tell her how you feel but would not expect a reaction liked he had hoped in return.

    As a man you have to be Alpha to attract the opposite sex especially when you are not on there radar.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    Kissing you on the lips would be mixed signals. She's just touchy-feely. Obviously she's not a shy person and has plenty of dating experience, so she would have no trouble telling you she wanted to date you.

    If it's a girlfriend you want, pouring a lot of your time and emotional energy into an unrequited crush is preventing you from achieving that goal. Lessen your time with this girl and no more sleepovers, because the new girl you start dating will walk away when she finds out this is going on. Very close male/female friendships like this never last in that type of state if they don't move into a romance, because as I said, a new partner will walk away when she finds out you have a crush on your female friend (women are intuitive. they know), or your friend gets a new bf eventually and you are cut off or fade to the back burner.

    This friendship has an expiration date, so begin spending more of your time joining meet up.com groups for singles in your age group, or joining co-ed sports teams or any other activities that will have you meeting single women.

  9. #8
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    She wants to be affectionate with you because she craves the attention. She is basically stringing you along. She wants to know that somebody is in to her because she needs that for her self esteem.
    Honestly, she is probably not really in to you. But she will make it seem like she is so that you will continue to fill that need. Walk away. Chances are she will suddenly be way in to you. But don't fall for it!

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    She seems confused. Confused individuals generally have confusing behaviours. This is not a surprise. I think she is coming into her own and developing her identity (this comes with the single territory and she's testing her limits). She's also using you to test her limits and see how comfortable she can be as a single woman. While it's empowering for her, it does very little to lend clarity to those surrounding her. She's not consistent while she's learning and testing herself.

    Friendships can exist this way but you should be creating more healthy boundaries. Don't let her sleep in your bed and don't be so readily available. She's not willing to verbalize any commitment with you or dating you in the way that you seem to be looking for. Accept this with some grace and practice some restraint on your part.

    You don't have to avoid her or be rude to her. I genuinely believe she is inexperienced and unknowing of her limits and has very little understanding of what's appropriate and inappropriate when it comes to dating and friendships. Every young person is permitted some leeway here. As an individual yourself you only owe it to you to create harmonious and non-confusing spaces for you by knowing yourself and what you require.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Pull back and don't be her cuddle buddy. You're hoping it leads to dating, even though she keeps you in the friendzone.

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