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Thread: Girlfriend Advice!! Help is appreciated

  1. #41
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    I always tell her to be her self and not to change for anyone but I am sure these issue's aren't normal and effect her everyday life in which have improved since she's met me as I actually help her! But if they persist I cant keep going in circles.

  2. #42
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    You can only screw up and apologize so many times...

    And the fact that she has no friends could be a red flag!

  3. #43
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    Yes I agree.

    Big red flag!

  4. #44
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    Im not sure if this is normal but for example she arranged to see a girl she used to work with for some ones birthday, she said to me there are guys going to be there (I guessed single) and felt the need to tell me which I see as a good sign. I thought it was weird to tell me and not invite me along as she was asking for my permission. We had a convo about it and I said this seems kinda odd and after the next day she found out there aren't any guys going but the girls friend has a guys name. After all that she didnt go as she said it was lame what they was doing anyway.

    Another thing was teling me she got chat up at the gym but obviously didnt take the guys number and said she has a BF. I see it as a good sign her telling me but im not sure I dont want o think about these things she should trust her self more and me that im all ok with her decisions.

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  6. #45
    Platinum Member Realitynut's Avatar
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    But you see jjtů.those were HER decisions. She's just sharing. Borderlines are over sharers. Meet me...and you'll hear my whole life's story. One of the many things I'm trying to change. She gets upset with YOU when YOU do something 'wrong' in her eyes...that you think are nothing., Borderline is a spectrum illness. Some people can't even hold a job they have it so bad. Some are functioning....can hold a job...even have friends. Just have probs with their relationships.

    Please read up on it. Not all people fit in one neat file. We're ALL different....but the characteristics of a person with BPD makes life hard...for them and you!
    We're not horrible people...just can have mood swings. Some get better when they get older. Once they realize 'they' have a problem....then they can start to deal with it. Unfortunately they think they don't have a problem....YOU made them cry. YOU made them angry.....etc. etc.

    Another country was trying to change the disorder to 'emotional dysregulation' since BPD got such a bad reputation.

  7. #46
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by jjt
    Im not sure if this is normal but for example she arranged to see a girl she used to work with for some ones birthday, she said to me there are guys going to be there (I guessed single) and felt the need to tell me which I see as a good sign. I thought it was weird to tell me and not invite me along as she was asking for my permission. We had a convo about it and I said this seems kinda odd and after the next day she found out there aren't any guys going but the girls friend has a guys name. After all that she didnt go as she said it was lame what they was doing anyway.

    Another thing was teling me she got chat up at the gym but obviously didnt take the guys number and said she has a BF. I see it as a good sign her telling me but im not sure I dont want o think about these things she should trust her self more and me that im all ok with her decisions.
    lol....sorry had to laugh a bit at this. No, there is nothing good about this. She is telling you because she is trying to stir up drama, make you jealous, wind you up, make you pay more attention to her, etc. Your calm, sane response didn't go to plan at all. No worries though, she'll find something else.

    Dude, you are parenting a grown woman like she is a little kid. What turns you on about that?

    You know she is disordered, so you either enjoy it and stay and stop complaining about it or you dump her because this isn't working for you. Make up your mind.

  8. #47
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    Originally Posted by jjt
    Im not sure if this is normal but for example she arranged to see a girl she used to work with for some ones birthday, she said to me there are guys going to be there (I guessed single) and felt the need to tell me which I see as a good sign.
    Originally Posted by jjt
    Another thing was teling me she got chat up at the gym but obviously didnt take the guys number and said she has a BF. I see it as a good sign her telling me
    May I ask why you think her telling you this sh** is a good sign? Serious question.

    No it's NOT a good sign, not in the least! To the contrary -- well Dancing Fool summed it up pretty perfectly:

    She is telling you because she is trying to stir up drama, make you jealous, wind you up, make you pay more attention to her, etc

    And there is nothing good or positive about that at all.

  9. #48
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DancingFool
    Dude, you are parenting a grown woman like she is a little kid. What turns you on about that?
    Real question: Remove the hot sex and the hang up about your friends being in relationships and what is it about this woman, and this thing you guys have together, that makes you really excited and really calm in the flow you two have?

  10. #49
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    I see your point of view but she likes to play the part of the one not trying to make me jealous when having questioned her and said how is that going to help our relationship but not only that anything in general is confusing.

  11. #50
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    We do have a good time together and connect on other things like the gym, we train together and its hard to find a girl who can lift and go hard in that way, also I do spend time at hers with her parents and get along with them. There are other factors in the relationship that are good, we share a lot of interests, same movies, tv series, like to travel ect.

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