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Thread: Girlfriend Advice!! Help is appreciated

  1. #1
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    Girlfriend Advice!! Help is appreciated

    So I am pretty good at handling situations and reading them with my GF but I wanted to know if anyone else has experienced anything similar.

    I have been seeing my GF for 8 months, we have a good sex life and get along most of the time. She is very sensitive to things I may do or say or even faces I make when I react to something she says/does and can go off in a funk just from my reaction... is this normal? She can be defensive and argue and create drama for her own problems, act like I did something to make her feel that way, when I haven't done anything to make her feel attacked when its her own problems nothing that I have done/said... she usually see's after the truth and apologises but not sure how much longer this can go on for, she will say she cant keep doing this when its her creating the issue.. ? Then apologise.
    She doesn't have many friends and can have a hard time getting along with people from what I see but she is generally very caring and loving. She even tells me she feels weird just generally sometimes or tired and comes out in a funk and I feel like im some times trying to bring her up alot.

    Any thoughts would be help full.
    Thanks

  2. #2
    Gold Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    Is this something that has been going on from the beginning or just recently?

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    From the beginning I would say.

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    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    How old are you two?

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    Gold Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    Well, the honeymoon phase is ending, and that's when the flaws start to become more noticeable.

    Have you communicated to her how much her behavior distresses you? Have you told her that the relationship is in danger?

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    I am 29 she is 30 and yes we both know its damaging to our relationship

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    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    To be a good catch, they have to be sane and have a good attitude. One of those two things could be her problem. Or, perhaps she is just lazy.

    You can try to straighten her out by cutting off affection and romance. When she asks, "What's wrong"? when you pull away from her, remind her about her last outburst. Maybe she'll be ready to listen and change.

    You'll never survive living with a moody woman. It's a living hell.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    If she was 18 or 22 I'd say that kind of sensitivity often comes with territory of someone still coming into themselves. At 30? I'd say this is basically who she is: touchy, moody, high maintenance, difficult. What drains you in the moment probably fills her up.

    You mentioned that she doesn't have many friends. Not the best sign in a 30 year old. Speaking frankly, difficult people are hard to be friends with. They wear people out, as you're experiencing.

    Do you get a sense that she values herself as a person? That she enjoys her life outside of the relationship. People who create drama are often bored, and so this kind of pattern becomes an unhealthy way to staunch the boredom.

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    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    It sounds hormonal. She seems cognizant of the fact that she overreacts. I think both of you are incompatible in some ways or may be spending too much time with each other. Leave room for personal development and she should try to mitigate any overreactions due to mood/hormones.

    If she's a good woman, chill out and let her ride out these waves. Be clear what's bothering you but don't undermine the way she feels. She may be feeling very guilty and irritable with herself also.

    Edit: Saw the ages above.

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    I think your right she is pretty moody/difficult/high maintenance when im the opposite, im very positive and people have told me I have a spring in my step!

    I think she values her self but gets easily bored and doesnt have a whole lot going on outside the relationship, im the one always making plans for us and coming up with things to do.

    She would think of something to almost be a problem when literally this specific problem wouldn't even cross my mind to get worked up about, Im pretty chilled and relaxed in most ways.

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