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Thread: I have no internal motivation

  1. #1
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    I have no internal motivation

    How normal is this? I literally dont feel like doing anything, if no one's looking. Working alone is a horrifying thought for me.
    I know some people are naturally driven to go to e.g. gym, I'm motivated by the result, for example getting the looks on a specific outing.
    I have recently dropped my job and being alone is horrendous for me.
    Well, because how am I know I'm winning if there's nobody to compete with?

    Literally all my motivations include other people, i.e. to beat somebody or to impress somebody... It can be a trap.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Carus's Avatar
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    Well define 'normal'.....Who really IS 'normal'....?

    But anyway, sounds like you have a very competitive nature. Do you have older siblings perhaps....?

    The need to seek validation from others seems to becoming more and more prevalent these days, but yes, it can be a road to depression...

    I would start learning to love yourself without the need for any one else's approval....

    It can be done. It will take time...and work*

    Carus*

  3. #3
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    Some thoughts...

    Do you smoke pot? If so, stop. Itís a depressant.

    Do you generally have no motivation for anything? Even hobbies, going out, doing things? Are you kind of indifferent to everything and feeling generally drained? If so, that can be depression. Please go see a medical doctor to discuss your symptoms.

    In general, it is in human nature to want to do stuff. Thatís how we evolved, build cities, invented stuff, etc. But of course, not all ďstuffĒ is created equal. I would also have a hard time motivating myself to work at home alone - but if you want to go swimming or traveling or to go on an adventure, Iím the first one out the door.

    So - does it apply to everything? Thatís a problem. Does it just apply to working out and working at home? Maybe you just donít like those things, so getting motivation from others is perfectly acceptable.

  4. #4
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    I literally get everything from the outside, inspiration, advice, everything..... Depression no because I've been to a psychologist, a couple already.
    I love winning, I love competition. I dont exist in a vacuum.

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  6. #5
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    Originally Posted by m.d.
    I literally get everything from the outside, inspiration, advice, everything..... Depression no because I've been to a psychologist, a couple already.
    I love winning, I love competition. I dont exist in a vacuum.
    There's nothing wrong with being motivated by others, or feel that to measure yourself, you'd like to measure yourself against others.

    For fitness, have you tried CrossFit? It's all about community, about motivating others, about rooting for others to succeed, while they root for you. To lift more, run more, do more. People who do it swear by it.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member mustlovedogs's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by m.d.
    I literally get everything from the outside, inspiration, advice, everything..... Depression no because I've been to a psychologist, a couple already.
    I love winning, I love competition. I dont exist in a vacuum.
    This sounds like motivation to me. Your motivation may be different than others, but this is still motivation

  8. #7
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    Originally Posted by mustlovedogs
    This sounds like motivation to me. Your motivation may be different than others, but this is still motivation
    Yeah... Olympics races consists of people competing AGAINST each other. In a vacuum I dont know if im winning.

    Like lets say i got a job. My goal would be to learn all I can from my boss in order to be better than him and move on.

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    I am a little of a hybrid. I'm internally motivated to work out every day because I see the results -I feel better, have more energy, maintain my weight -but, on those days when I'm not as motivated and drag myself to the gym anyway it helps a lot to see someone on the next treadmill because it motivates me to keep going -yes, I admit -I play internal games about going "faster' or doing more than the other person -yes it's mostly a joke -just a little game i internalize - and other times just seeing my friend working hard on the treadmill keeps me going, as in "we're in this together". My son motivates me to speak in a calmer way, to approach things more calmly because I know calm is better for him (meaning let's say we're lost in the train station of a foreign country which happened to us two weeks ago) and I know he is right. So if I were alone I'd have less motivation to calm myself down.

    I'm internally motivated to work hard because I've always had a strong work ethic AND of course if I am interviewing for a job and know of the competition of course I'm motivated to make a better impression and "win" -isn't that normal??

  10. #9
    Platinum Member mustlovedogs's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by m.d.
    Yeah... Olympics races consists of people competing AGAINST each other. In a vacuum I dont know if im winning.

    Like lets say i got a job. My goal would be to learn all I can from my boss in order to be better than him and move on.
    So when youíre at work, for instance, what makes you feel accomplished?

  11. #10
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    Originally Posted by m.d.
    Like lets say i got a job. My goal would be to learn all I can from my boss in order to be better than him and move on.
    So...maybe you should look for a job?

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