I have no internal motivation

How normal is this? I literally dont feel like doing anything, if no one's looking. Working alone is a horrifying thought for me.

I know some people are naturally driven to go to e.g. gym, I'm motivated by the result, for example getting the looks on a specific outing.

I have recently dropped my job and being alone is horrendous for me.

Well, because how am I know I'm winning if there's nobody to compete with?

Literally all my motivations include other people, i.e. to beat somebody or to impress somebody... It can be a trap.

Well define 'normal'.....Who really IS 'normal'....?

But anyway, sounds like you have a very competitive nature. Do you have older siblings perhaps....?

The need to seek validation from others seems to becoming more and more prevalent these days, but yes, it can be a road to depression...

I would start learning to love yourself without the need for any one else's approval....

It can be done. It will take time...and work*

Carus*

Some thoughts...

Do you smoke pot? If so, stop. It’s a depressant.

Do you generally have no motivation for anything? Even hobbies, going out, doing things? Are you kind of indifferent to everything and feeling generally drained? If so, that can be depression. Please go see a medical doctor to discuss your symptoms.

In general, it is in human nature to want to do stuff. That’s how we evolved, build cities, invented stuff, etc. But of course, not all “stuff” is created equal. I would also have a hard time motivating myself to work at home alone - but if you want to go swimming or traveling or to go on an adventure, I’m the first one out the door.

So - does it apply to everything? That’s a problem. Does it just apply to working out and working at home? Maybe you just don’t like those things, so getting motivation from others is perfectly acceptable.

I literally get everything from the outside, inspiration, advice, everything..... Depression no because I've been to a psychologist, a couple already.

I love winning, I love competition. I dont exist in a vacuum.

I literally get everything from the outside, inspiration, advice, everything..... Depression no because I've been to a psychologist, a couple already.

I love winning, I love competition. I dont exist in a vacuum.

There's nothing wrong with being motivated by others, or feel that to measure yourself, you'd like to measure yourself against others.

For fitness, have you tried CrossFit? It's all about community, about motivating others, about rooting for others to succeed, while they root for you. To lift more, run more, do more. People who do it swear by it.

I literally get everything from the outside, inspiration, advice, everything..... Depression no because I've been to a psychologist, a couple already.

I love winning, I love competition. I dont exist in a vacuum.

This sounds like motivation to me. Your motivation may be different than others, but this is still motivation

This sounds like motivation to me. Your motivation may be different than others, but this is still motivation

Yeah... Olympics races consists of people competing AGAINST each other. In a vacuum I dont know if im winning.

Like lets say i got a job. My goal would be to learn all I can from my boss in order to be better than him and move on.

I am a little of a hybrid. I'm internally motivated to work out every day because I see the results -I feel better, have more energy, maintain my weight -but, on those days when I'm not as motivated and drag myself to the gym anyway it helps a lot to see someone on the next treadmill because it motivates me to keep going -yes, I admit -I play internal games about going "faster' or doing more than the other person -yes it's mostly a joke -just a little game i internalize - and other times just seeing my friend working hard on the treadmill keeps me going, as in "we're in this together". My son motivates me to speak in a calmer way, to approach things more calmly because I know calm is better for him (meaning let's say we're lost in the train station of a foreign country which happened to us two weeks ago) and I know he is right. So if I were alone I'd have less motivation to calm myself down.

I'm internally motivated to work hard because I've always had a strong work ethic AND of course if I am interviewing for a job and know of the competition of course I'm motivated to make a better impression and "win" -isn't that normal??

Yeah... Olympics races consists of people competing AGAINST each other. In a vacuum I dont know if im winning.

 

Like lets say i got a job. My goal would be to learn all I can from my boss in order to be better than him and move on.

So when you’re at work, for instance, what makes you feel accomplished?

Like lets say i got a job. My goal would be to learn all I can from my boss in order to be better than him and move on.

So...maybe you should look for a job?

Have you heard of the four temperaments? Many psychologists believe that people have inborn traits that subconsciously affect our behavior. There are four basic but every person has a combination of two temperaments at varying percentages. Phlegmatics are the laid back, introverts, peacemakers, then the Melancholies are the deep thinkers who are also introverts, analytical, spiritual. Then the Cholerics are the action oriented, extrovert, doer, achiever. Last is the Sanguine who is lively, extrovert, friend of everybody, the life of the party but also draws his emotion from the people around. When people in the room are sad, he also tends to be sad.

Maybe you are a sanguine and very connected to people, so when alone, it has a negative effect on you. Maybe its worth finding out about yourself. The one I read is faith-based, called The Spirit Controlled Temperament by Tim LaHaye, who wrote Left Behind.

I believe that to a certain degree motivation is BS. Why? We aren't usually motivated to do the things we have to do but don't enjoy doing.

How normal is this? I literally dont feel like doing anything, if no one's looking.

To be honest, it's what happens behind the scene that matters most and triggers that big win.

Spectators only see that epic match: two top tier athletes battling against each other. But to get there, they had to train for years and do so much other stuff, without receiving any accolades.

An author needs to write who knows how many drafts until something connects and eventually becomes a story. Which doesn't guarantee it will get published. There's a lot of work that a writer does, receiving no recognition whatsoever for it. It's a long-term game where if they persevere, they might become a household name one day.

These are just two examples.

It's what you do when no one is watching that matters most.

Im just like i wanna learn from people who i think know more than me or do things in a better way than i do ,to take their skills and make them my own and to improve on them in my own .I think you and i are the same is it safe to say you enjoy learning things and enjoy finding better ways to do then knowing you can do it ?

If so tell me and i know exactly what you can do

Yes you can elaborate