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Thread: My job is working me to death

  1. #11
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    Does your company have an HR department? If so, go to HR immediately and explain your situation. If they don't want a lawsuit they will tell your manager to knock it off.

    I too was expected to work on my days off (for no pay, I am hourly). I went to HR and disingenuously asked the HR manager if I was supposed to be working on my days off without reporting my hours. He HAD to say no, that was not permitted. I then announced that every time I was asked to work on my days off I would be reporting my hours which would be all OT and that this was at the direction of the HR manager. The "expectation" stopped immediately.

  2. #12
    Member SaraJane99's Avatar
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    Iím sorry I typed that last post up earlier when I only saw the first couple of replyís. Iím sorry I didnít get the notification that other people had responded!

  3. #13
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    The only part of you that "sucks" is the same thing I'm afflicted with: the people-pleasing mentality. The fact that you want to please everyone, so people suck more and more out of you. People who have purchased their homes, but are now having issues, pull on you because you're probably the only one who responds. Management demands that you call back in minutes, because they rely so much on you. This is like little children pulling at the pant leg of the only person they feel they can count on.

    Unfortunately, when you are a people-pleaser and you are in a professional world of takers, you will get pulled on and pulled on, until you break, which is where you are now.

    Ever seen the movie "Wargames"? Mathew Broderick? "The only winning move is not to play".

    You gotta get outta there.

    My biggest piece of advice is, leave as quickly, but as quietly, as you can. Don't burn any bridges, even with people you despise. Leave on the best note possible. You were so delighted to have this opportunity, and you will work as hard as you can during your 2 weeks notice, and you thank them so much for all that you have learned. And if/when you run into people in grocery stores, you are so pleased to see them.

    A few years after I left my most hated job ever, I ran into my boss, who treated me like crap up till the end. She asked me to help her get a job at my new company! I told my new boss, who I adored, and I told him the whole story, and he told me to tell her that we "never" have openings....ha ha. Karma, baby.

  4. #14
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    "My biggest piece of advice is, leave as quickly, but as quietly, as you can. Don't burn any bridges, even with people you despise. Leave on the best note possible. You were so delighted to have this opportunity, and you will work as hard as you can during your 2 weeks notice, and you thank them so much for all that you have learned. And if/when you run into people in grocery stores, you are so pleased to see them."

    Completely agree- unless there is actual discrimination or harassment please don't sue or threaten or go to HR - not familiar with labor laws but when I worked as you did because I was salaried we didn't get overtime and yes I was on call 24/7 including on vacation -totally "legal" and totally what i signed up for to get the experience and the $. But had i experienced actual harassment/discrimination I likely would have reported it. Big difference. It's not fair but it's a small world and if you complain you likely will get a reputation as a complainer or as someone who needed accommodations when everyone else is working under these conditions. Not fair but also reality if you want to stay in this or a related professional capacity.

    I loved being home full time. Loved -despite how hard I worked with no family around and little help other than from my husband who traveled a lot. I was in my 40s by then, and working as hard as I did with all the sleep deprivation made caring for a newborn/baby/toddler a much much easier adjustment.

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  6. #15
    Member SaraJane99's Avatar
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    Thank you everyone, your insight has really helped. Especially the post of those who have been in my situation. It is so true that management would be no help, because I canít even rely on them to get a light fixture ordered on time

    My husband has suggested I talk to them before quitting but I know that will do nothing for me. A few years back one of my coworkers had a stroke, last year someone had a heart attack, and currently one of our agents has shingles - all stress induced. The 2 people who suffered from the heart attack and stroke were my age, in their 30ís and healthy. The agent who has shingles doesnít even want management to know theyíre from stress for fear of them taking his community away from him.

    Itís so true, that donít care about us, why would they? Weíre all replaceable in their eyes. I guess thatís why I need to get over my people pleaser side of me so I can stop feeling bad about wanting to leave! Itís just soooo hard busting your ass and putting these people before your own family and health just for non of it to matter in the end.

    We plan to start trying soon to have a baby soon and I would like to be more excited about it! Truthfully, Iíve never wanted kids until I married my husband. Heís very supportive and what gives me courage to be a Mom. If it wasnít for him I would never be ready to start having a family. Iíd stay miserable in this job for the next 10 yrs and probably look back regretting a lot of things. Him and a lot of people close to me have been suggesting I leave. Thatís why I want to share that it wasnít just me wanting to give up. It was the people close to me seeing how run down I look all the time. I want to stay on until I get pregnant at least, but once I start in this new community Iím going to be locked in for the next several years.

    Weíre commission paid only, so if my first 20 sales are ďpre-salesĒ that means we are building their home from the ground up. And I wonít get paid until itís finished - 6 months down the road. And weíre only entitled to our full commission 30 days after we resign, 1/2 our commission 31-60 days, and weíre entitled to nothing after 60 days. So when I say if Iím going to do this, the time really is now. Once I start selling in my new community I will not be able to walk away and or Iíll get nothing for all those sales I will have worked hard to get.

    Iím so nervous and feel uneasy about going through with this!

  7. #16
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    Originally Posted by SaraJane99
    Thank you everyone, your insight has really helped. Especially the post of those who have been in my situation. It is so true that management would be no help, because I canít even rely on them to get a light fixture ordered on time

    My husband has suggested I talk to them before quitting but I know that will do nothing for me. A few years back one of my coworkers had a stroke, last year someone had a heart attack, and currently one of our agents has shingles - all stress induced. The 2 people who suffered from the heart attack and stroke were my age, in their 30ís and healthy. The agent who has shingles doesnít even want management to know theyíre from stress for fear of them taking his community away from him.

    Itís so true, that donít care about us, why would they? Weíre all replaceable in their eyes. I guess thatís why I need to get over my people pleaser side of me so I can stop feeling bad about wanting to leave! Itís just soooo hard busting your ass and putting these people before your own family and health just for non of it to matter in the end.

    We plan to start trying soon to have a baby soon and I would like to be more excited about it! Truthfully, Iíve never wanted kids until I married my husband. Heís very supportive and what gives me courage to be a Mom. If it wasnít for him I would never be ready to start having a family. Iíd stay miserable in this job for the next 10 yrs and probably look back regretting a lot of things. Him and a lot of people close to me have been suggesting I leave. Thatís why I want to share that it wasnít just me wanting to give up. It was the people close to me seeing how run down I look all the time. I want to stay on until I get pregnant at least, but once I start in this new community Iím going to be locked in for the next several years.

    Weíre commission paid only, so if my first 20 sales are ďpre-salesĒ that means we are building their home from the ground up. And I wonít get paid until itís finished - 6 months down the road. And weíre only entitled to our full commission 30 days after we resign, 1/2 our commission 31-60 days, and weíre entitled to nothing after 60 days. So when I say if Iím going to do this, the time really is now. Once I start selling in my new community I will not be able to walk away and or Iíll get nothing for all those sales I will have worked hard to get.

    Iím so nervous and feel uneasy about going through with this!
    Yes of course it's a huge change! I'd also check into your situation with health insurance if you leave and start trying to conceive. Again I'd be careful about stress levels when trying to conceive and being pregnant. Happy to PM if you like.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Sara, forget what your coworkers complaints are (they may not produce as much sales or volume of successful sales as you). Comparing yourself to others when you are not comparable to others is just a waste of energy. Focus just on you and talk to your boss. It's not going to do you any good jumping to conclusions or assuming the worst when you haven't yet spoken with your immediate boss or the person you report to. You shouldn't be doing it to come out on top or prove anyone wrong or even to secure your job or tell your boss how terrible everyone is. You should be opening up that communication for you and learning more about the company and how they view you as an employee. Remind them of your successes and what you've achieved and ask for a formal evaluation on your work. If you truly are so dispensable despite being a 'top producer', maybe you aren't much of a top producer as you think or your people-pleasing personality may look good but it's really not that effective at all. For every give, there's a take and a transaction. The problem is your transactions with your company aren't putting you in a very good way. If you can change the nature of those transactions and work out a solution or a balance that works for you, you may still keep your job. Being a Yes-woman or jumping to conclusions however does automatically close doors.

    If you do really feel this is the end of the road for you here, be a bit clear about your purpose and what you hope to achieve. At this rate, your stress levels are through the roof and it's anyone's guess whether you'll even conceive. You shouldn't build yourself up for a process that may end up taking awhile. I'm saying this from one woman to another (take care of yourself and your health and don't bank your hopes and dreams on having a family immediately). It may take some time and in that time, even if you quit this job, measure your energies accordingly. Don't do this rollercoaster. I wouldn't want to see you demoralized that you quit this position and are then having troubles conceiving or having a family doesn't work out. Be honest and realistic with yourself and be at peace as your present self. Appreciate what you do have in your husband and your marriage. Go for your goals and building your family but don't shift all your focus to having a family. Keep yourself balanced and diversified in your interests and goals.

  9. #18
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    If you have an end date in sight that could help alleviate stress.

    A coworker just gave her two week notice at work. Our jobs require a tremendous amount of patience since our departments are viewed as necessary evils by top management. She was a ball of stress, but she gave notice and is smiling again. I, however, cannot quit for a number of reasons (not the least of which is I am single and middle aged and my only source of financial support). I have to work somewhere (probably here) for 2.5 more years. But, since I'm older I know I can get through the next 2.5 years. My coworker, however, could not and didn't really need to.

    Can you give yourself an end date? Perhaps 3 or 6 months, then you'll get out?

  10. #19
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    the harder I worked and the more I achieved, the more harassment I started receiving from my bosses.
    This would be the nail in their coffin, so to speak, and I'd have no qualms about leaving.

    You've already proven to yourself that your capabilities are above average. To me, that would mean that I'm also capable of finding an employer who values me. My go-forward mentality would be that my relationships with employers are a two way street. While I'd need to earn over time an employer's trust in my judgment and work ethic, the same is true for anyone in a new position. However, foundational and mutual respect MUST be a given, and should I recognize another culture where that's not the case, I would not hesitate to give notice and walk away.

    You've paid your tuition to learn the kind of culture you do NOT want. So your dues are paid, and you need NEVER settle for such a situation again.

    Go in peace, and enjOy your family AND your career.

  11. #20
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    Wow. High achievers make the best small business owners. You might consider what kind of business you could start. If you put in all that effort for your own company, you would definitely succeed! Maybe not right away, but consider this for the future.

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