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Thread: Heís gone cold on me

  1. #1
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    Heís gone cold on me

    Ok so I met somebody on holiday who lives in a different country than me. Ever since I got back home we text and FaceTimed everyday. I made the decision to fly out and see him and it was great at first, greeted me with flowers and a kiss, he was holding my hand and being touchy feels which I liked. First day was great.. he had previously told me he liked me and I even found some doodles (heís into graffiti art) that he did on the way back on the plane and I could see he wrote my name and said ďI miss youĒ. Anyways, 2 days have gone by and heís changed! He isnít kissing me no more, heís not as touchy feely and feel like he ainít into me anymore? Iím pretty sure he just moved into the living room to sleep as one of the pillows has gone and he isnít in the bedroom? Like Iíve met one of his close friends and his mother whilst being here and they both welcomed me in and I got on with them but now heís just like drifting? Maybe Iím overthinking but just feels a bit you know? Itís almost like he canít be bothered anymore.. and I go home tomorrow so you would think heíd be making the most of me being here. What do you guys think am I overthinking or has he just decided itís not for him? He also smokes weed and I take into account how chill it makes you so that could have an effect? He has no problem having sex with me but honestly he is a gent and has respect for women, just feel like heís drifted these past couple of days and I donít know what to think.

  2. #2
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    He had a holiday romance and thatís where he likely wanted to leave it.
    Probably didnít expect you would fly back there (why did you?)
    No sequel to a movie is ever the same or as good as the first.
    Enjoy your last day and thank him for putting you up and leave it at that I guess?

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    It's just a holiday romance. Trying to make it a LDR just didn't work. Stay friends if you wish but date local men when you get back home.
    Originally Posted by Hollsmaur
    -I met somebody on holiday who lives in a different country than me.
    -I made the decision to fly out and see him
    -he just moved into the living room to sleep
    -Itís almost like he canít be bothered anymore

  4. #4
    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    Sorry to say this, but unlike you see in make believe movies, most LDR's don't work out.

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  6. #5
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    As the others have said, this is a holiday fling. He enjoys your company but doesnít intend to take it further, from what youíve described.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Anyways, 2 days have gone by and heís changed! He isnít kissing me no more, heís not as touchy feely and feel like he ainít into me anymore?
    You should have left a day ago. Its pretty clear he just wants an eff buddy and he's clearly telling you that.

    Do date locally and shut down any expectations of this being more than a fling so that you can enjoy things until you leave. Go site seeing or something and make the most of your vay kay.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Could we back this up a little? You said you made the decision to fly out - did this include an invitation from him or did you invite yourself over to his house/apartment? What is the living situation like? Does he live with his mother and one of his close friends? You said they welcomed you in. The living situation is beyond awkward and I don't know how old either of you are. His mum might have had a word with him about sleeping in the same room if it's her house. If I'm understanding this correctly, this is a very uncomfortable set up.

    Don't dwell on this, get back on the plane and meet more locals. Try not to get yourself in situations like this.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Having a stranger stay at your place can be a real strain. I would have stayed in my own hotel room and met up to visit one another, maybe overnighting with the other over time, OR taking a breather for some privacy on any given night.

    If your stay is extending from here, I'd book a hotel room and pack my bags. I'd thank the guy for his hospitality. I'd tell him that I adore him but I'd like to afford us both a bit of privacy, and he's free to reach me if he'd like to get together.

    Long distance relationships don't tend to work out unless there's some foundation for it beyond a vacation romance bubble.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    When you first start dating anyone, the dates should be brief. That's why LDRs rarely work. Because it's not the normal pace of local dating. You're forced to spend too much time together too soon in LDR meet-ups, like what's happened here, which is smothering.

    Learn from your mistakes. You can have chemistry with so many people in the world whom you will often meet through how easily international travel is nowadays. For most people, however, it's illogical to pursue these sorts of relationships as there are so many cons to LDRs, including great costs and most of the time being penpals without a 3D companion to enjoy life with on a regular basis.

    There are local guys you can also have chemistry with. It's far cheaper and the normal pace of dating might give you better success.

  11. #10
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    Originally Posted by Billie28
    He had a holiday romance and thatís where he likely wanted to leave it.
    Probably didnít expect you would fly back there (why did you?)
    No sequel to a movie is ever the same or as good as the first.
    Enjoy your last day and thank him for putting you up and leave it at that I guess?
    Yup!

    You should not have flown out. He is no longer interested in you, don't blame the weed.

    Lose his number.


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