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Thread: Shes engaged and contacting me

  1. #1

    Shes engaged and contacting me

    Hello All, I need some clarity and i hope i can find it here. Me and my ex girlfriend have been broken up for 5 years but the last 3 1/2 years shes been reaching out to me. She says shes been thinking about me. Keep in mind she dumped me thinking I cheated but I didn't. She told all her friends and family I cheated so I understand she couldn't come back without looking stupid to all these ppl. Anyway I moved on and met someone 1 year later and still with this woman, while my ex has been in several relationships until 2 years ago.
    Shes been contacting me the second year of our break up. I was so confused on why she was adamant about seeing me. Anyway shes been with this guy now for 2 years and got engaged with him 6 months into dating him. Im in a different space but curious on why she continues contacting me. So I played alittle with her and started asking questions like "Do u miss me?" She says of course but that wasnt the kicker. One day we are having an all day text marathon and she stated there have been times she was mad at him because he wasnt me. She also told me she has masturbated to thoughts of our love making..wow. I find it hard to believe so I said to her "Stop lying, theres no need to" and she reassured me she wasnt lying, so my next question was "then was stay engaged" and she said "I dont know". I even played around and asked her "Let just run away together" and she tells me in 4 years when her son is off to college. Then turns around and says if I do that everyone would be so upset with me. I dont think this woman knows what she wants. Or maybe what she wants is just to see if the feelings are still there but what if they are, then what? Maybe all this is just games, but why?6
    She stated to me she wants to go out for lunch to catch up as she says but I'm saying to myself we caught up already on all things, sound like an excuse to see me but I believe she just want to see if the feelings are still there. I need help, what's going on in this situation or this womans mind and should I meet up with her? Help

  2. #2
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Chosen1022
    I dont think this woman knows what she wants.
    I'd say the same about you, frankly.

    Correct me if I'm wrong, but you're in a relationship? And have been for four years? How do you think your girlfriend would feel if she knew you were talking to your ex about her masturbations habits, about running away together? I mean, you can sit here and psychoanalyze your ex but at this point that seems like a pretty easy way to avoid holding yourself accountable for engaging in some pretty shady behavior.

    Are you happy with your girlfriend? If so, I don't see any point in engaging with your ex the way you've been doing.

  3. #3
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    Stop playing games. Its cruel to toy with your ex's emotions. Why do you know about her different relationships? If you were faithful to your girlfriend, you wouldn't be keeping tabs or accepting contact from your ex. End contact. Now. Unless you are prepared to tell your current girlfriend that you are meeting with your ex to see if she still has feelings. I am sure that will go over well

  4. #4
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by bluecastle
    I'd say the same about you, frankly.

    Correct me if I'm wrong, but you're in a relationship? And have been for four years? How do you think your girlfriend would feel if she knew you were talking to your ex about her masturbations habits, about running away together? I mean, you can sit here and psychoanalyze your ex but at this point that seems like a pretty easy way to avoid holding yourself accountable for engaging in some pretty shady behavior.

    Are you happy with your girlfriend? If so, I don't see any point in engaging with your ex the way you've been doing.
    ^^^ This! ...

    Its amazing how someone can be so blind to their own nefarious goings on.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    You seem very preoccupied with the wrong woman. The person you should be thinking about and wondering about or building your life with is your girlfriend. I don't feel it's a good idea for you to date anyone at all. Come clean about your communication with your ex with your girlfriend and let her go. The more you live in these shadows the shadier you become. I think you've lived like this as your normal for far too long.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by bluecastle
    I'd say the same about you, frankly.

    Correct me if I'm wrong, but you're in a relationship? And have been for four years? How do you think your girlfriend would feel if she knew you were talking to your ex about her masturbations habits, about running away together? I mean, you can sit here and psychoanalyze your ex but at this point that seems like a pretty easy way to avoid holding yourself accountable for engaging in some pretty shady behavior.

    Are you happy with your girlfriend? If so, I don't see any point in engaging with your ex the way you've been doing.
    Just gonna quote this.

  8. #7
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    No offense but itís the pot calling the kettle black.

    Time to see that playing mind games and being hypocritical wont get you far in life.

    I personally think you should be single for awhile. Also ask yourself why you care so much about your ex?

  9. #8
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Yup, pot meet kettle.

  10. #9
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    What's that saying about "birds of a feather?"

    On a lighter note, I hope you're not playing us...

  11. #10
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    You really need to stop this nonsense. If she is texting you, block her! Put an end to it. If she starts calling you, block her number or change your number. What you are doing is foolish and cruel. You have a girlfriend you need to be thinking about, not playing mind games with this ex.

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