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Thread: Divorce

  1. #1

    Divorce

    I married very fast and my husband was meant to come to England. It turns out that he is now going to prison. I told him as a wife I would stick by him as I lovd him. He says I'm stupid and hates me even though I have done nothing wrong that i can think of. So after just 4 months of marriage he wants a divorce. I feel so much shame, confusion and hurt. My emotions are up and down, one time strong and hopeful, angry, sad. I really want to move forward but I want to know I've done all I can.

  2. #2
    Gold Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    Why is he going to prison?

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    If you want to move forward, grant him the divorce per his request and for your future without him. You don't need him. He called you names, says your stupid and hates you even though you've done nothing wrong. You've done all you could despite his incarceration.

    It's time for you to heal. Give him the divorce he wants and move on with your life. Think positively.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    Get divorced and move on with your life. This guy doesnt sound like any kind of prize.

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    You did not know this man well enough before you married him. He counted on that, so married you quickly. You stand by your husband if he is injured, sick, laid off, but you hardly know this man, truly. I agree- divorce him. have you even lived in the same country together? Do you know if he is actually going to jail or just told you that so you would leave?

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Angelina80
    I married very fast and my husband was meant to come to England. It turns out that he is now going to prison. I told him as a wife I would stick by him as I lovd him. He says I'm stupid and hates me even though I have done nothing wrong that i can think of. So after just 4 months of marriage he wants a divorce. I feel so much shame, confusion and hurt. My emotions are up and down, one time strong and hopeful, angry, sad. I really want to move forward but I want to know I've done all I can.
    The bold portion was the most important part, in my mind, and I'll respond specifically to that part.

    He was part of your life for awhile and looking forward to a lifetime with someone is no joke. You've done that and now it feels like giant disappointment. You're going to have to live through all those emotions and you may even feel a sense of guilt and sadness that you have no control over. When the end of a relationship is near or a marriage is at the point of divorce, it's common to feel like you've failed in some way. You aren't alone in feeling ashamed or angry or sad. You'll need to own all those emotions and go through them and come out of this on the other side.

    You'll eventually know you've done all you can when you accept that there is nothing left that you can do. Take one day at a time.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Excellent. Get rid of him asap. In fact see if you can get it annulled. Did he marry you for a visa? It sounds like you are being scammed. Have you sent him money? Gather everything you know about him and can find out about him and ask the police for assistance.
    Originally Posted by Angelina80
    after just 4 months of marriage he wants a divorce. I feel so much shame, confusion and hurt. My emotions are up and down, one time strong and hopeful, angry, sad. I really want to move forward but I want to know I've done all I can.

  9. #8
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    Originally Posted by Angelina80
    I married very fast and my husband was meant to come to England. It turns out that he is now going to prison. I told him as a wife I would stick by him as I lovd him. He says I'm stupid and hates me even though I have done nothing wrong that i can think of. So after just 4 months of marriage he wants a divorce. I feel so much shame, confusion and hurt. My emotions are up and down, one time strong and hopeful, angry, sad. I really want to move forward but I want to know I've done all I can.
    I think he's actually trying to be a good guy. He knows you won't leave him and will wait for him and that's not what he wants for your life. He wants you to live your life because he's in jail and couldn't be with you. To make this happen he has to call you stupid and tell you he hates you so that you get over him. He also has to file for divorce because it will help you move on and not live a life waiting for him.

    Now, I could've not told you any of this and you'd move on just fine but with the confusion as to why you got divorced. But I don't know what damage that would do to you in your future relationship so I figured I'd tell you. Lots of people do this, they decide that the relationship must end and to help the other person they start acting mean for no reason. If you want to make him happy and not feel guilty that he's bringing you down, you're probably going to need to go along with his plan.

  10. #9
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Mari
    I think he's actually trying to be a good guy. He knows you won't leave him and will wait for him and that's not what he wants for your life. He wants you to live your life because he's in jail and couldn't be with you. To make this happen he has to call you stupid and tell you he hates you so that you get over him. He also has to file for divorce because it will help you move on and not live a life waiting for him.

    Now, I could've not told you any of this and you'd move on just fine but with the confusion as to why you got divorced. But I don't know what damage that would do to you in your future relationship so I figured I'd tell you. Lots of people do this, they decide that the relationship must end and to help the other person they start acting mean for no reason. If you want to make him happy and not feel guilty that he's bringing you down, you're probably going to need to go along with his plan.
    Not sure if it's only me, but this entire post has me questioning my comprehension skills. Mari, do you really, truly believe what you say above? I mean, really? Scary stuff ....

  11. #10
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Did he marry you for a visa? It sounds like you are being scammed. Have you sent him money?
    My initial reaction as well.

    Angelina80 have you ever met this man? Some more info would help.

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