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Thread: He lied

  1. #21
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by natashalashay
    The relationship ended b/c he was the worst communicator. He would be distant for 2 or 3 days whenever we disagreed on anything. To keep this from happening I would let things so that bothered me and I ended things because as adults you should be able to discuss anything. I started to feel that my feelings and Opinion didnít matter.
    I thought it ended because you think you discovered he was cheating on you? Are you saying that you would still be with him if he communicated better and made you think your feelings and opinions mattered?

  2. #22
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    Originally Posted by natashalashay
    The relationship ended b/c he was the worst communicator. He would be distant for 2 or 3 days whenever we disagreed on anything. To keep this from happening I would let things so that bothered me and I ended things because as adults you should be able to discuss anything. I started to feel that my feelings and Opinion didnít matter.
    Originally Posted by ThatwasThen
    I thought it ended because you think you discovered he was cheating on you? Are you saying that you would still be with him if he communicated better and made you think your feelings and opinions mattered?
    Omg, I missed that!! Yeah confusing, I agree -- she never even mentioned his poor communication in her opening post, it was all about his relationship with his ex! And all her sleuthing.

    Almost sounds like a response to a completely different thread.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Just checked her posting history and I think she's meaning that they broke up the first time because of his lack of communication. She does say in her OP that they got back together after an 8 month split.

  4. #24
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    Originally Posted by ThatwasThen
    Just checked her posting history and I think she's meaning that they broke up the first time because of his lack of communication. She does say in her OP that they got back together after an 8 month split.
    Thanks for checking! It would have been nice if she had written "the relationship ended the first time because....."

    But whatever.... it's Friday! About the time I start heading into the twilight zone anyway, so... lol

    Well actually, heading out to HH, good night all, have a great weekend!

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  6. #25
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Night... have fun!

  7. #26
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Whether he's lying or not becomes irrelevant when the bottom line is, you don't trust him.

    When younger I viewed people questioning whether I trust my BF as pointing out that I had too little faith in the guy rather than pointing to my own gut instincts as a reason why I shouldn't overlook the obvious. They meant that this one particular incident isn't the problem--the fact that I'm questioning the guy's trustworthiness in the first place can mean one of two things: either the guy has already behaved in ways that have caused me to no longer trust him, OR I went into this without a healthy ability to set my internal trust meter to a neutral 5 and allow someone to earn my trust over time.

    Either way, the relationship would keep me miserable--and is that how I want to live? If someone behaves in ways that knock down my trust, why would I stick around for that? On the other hand, if I'm entering relationships with a mistrustful chip that I haven't healed from my own past, then I'M the one who isn't ready for a relationship, so we wouldn't have a shot no matter what he does.

    Head high, and get clarity about whether it's just this guy who you don't trust, or all men. If it's all men, consider working with a therapist to regain your ability to trust within reason. Otherwise, you'll project suspicions of future harm onto anyone who wants to partner with you, and that's not relationship material.

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